[quote="horselvr, post:2, topic:233357"]
Ya know---I just want to put my arms around you and tell you it is going to be ok and it will be, eventually. My son is also going through a heartache and someone here suggested a video of "Madea On Relationships" and while this is a bit humorous there really is a lot of truth in the message. He watched it and I think it really helped him to understand. There is a lot of truth in that little video.
Yeah, I just found this and, having not watched anything by Tyler Perry or his Madea character before, I enjoyed them immensely. Thanks.
I really like the fact that you added above that you will pray for both she and her fiancee, that they have a good marriage. Someone is going to be very lucky to get a great guy like you. Right now there is a lonely girl wondering when you will finally show up. :thumbsup:
[quote="ServantJohn, post:6, topic:233357"]
We all have a choice of who we love. That choice can be made easier by them being good looking, funny, or talented or harder if they are ugly, uncoordinated, or smell bad, but we still have a choice.
I should clarify, because I do agree with you that love is a decision, not an emotion. So when I say I couldn't help but fall in love with her, I mean that, when it came to deciding whether or not to love her, it was a easy decision for me to make, if that makes sense.
[quote="adelore, post:7, topic:233357"]
To the OP, if God had wanted you and this young lady together, and truely deep down if you had wanted this young lady, sometime over the years, you would have let your feelings be known. Maybe deep....way way deep down inside you knew she was a great friend, but not really the girl for you.
Meanwhile, pray for her happiness and move on. God has a very special someone out there just for you.
Yeah, the more I think about it, the more I think you may be right. Even though I expressed my appreciation for her as a friend, I was always making some excuse for not telling her how I really felt. Something kept me saying to myself "this is not the right time for you to pursue a relationship just yet." I think, perhaps, that, in His wisdom, God allowed me to get know this woman as a way for me to become a better man and stronger Catholic Christain, because I know that I am much more committed to the Faith and the Church than I would have otherwise been because of this. And for that, I will always grateful to her and to Him.
[quote="Magickman, post:8, topic:233357"]
The OP never had a romantic relationship with the object of his affection. She turned down an opportunity to date the OP, and gave no evidence of being attracted to him.
Now she is engaged to marry another man.
My advice is for the OP to move on , and seek other opportunities for romance.
For the OP to persist with the first woman would be creepy and foolish.
You're right. The last thing I want to do put her under any kind of pressure to force do something she doesn't want to do.
[quote="Irishmom2, post:9, topic:233357"]
You and this girl were acquaintances and not really even close friends if you only found out that she was back with her boyfriend through facebook. There were opportunities for her to get together with you over the time you knew her, but she did not avail herself of them either. And perhaps that is because it was not meant to be. Sometimes we meet people in our lives and we are a part of their life though their life has nothing to do with us. You may have provided friendship for her at a time when she needed it, but not in a reciprocal way. And that's okay. Do not confuse this "being a part" with thinking she is making some kind of mistake. You do not know what is truly in her heart.
Be happy for her. Pray for her, but move on and do not pine over her as someone that you lost, because you never really had her. Please see the video mentioned above. It is very good. You sound like a nice person and your time, and your love will come one day.
May God bless you and guide you.
Thanks. I think the more frustrating thing for me is that, after she broken up and got back together with her boyfriend the first time, I was ready to cut my losses and move on. But when she broke up with him again, I thought I had a second chance, but circumstances and my own lingering doubts kept getting in the way. And yes, I will, and always have, pray for her, that if we were not meant to be together, that her life would continue to have love, happiness and peace.
[quote="TheRealJuliane, post:12, topic:233357"]
This young woman was having an on-again, off-again relationship with her ex boyfriend, and that is not mature behavior, not a good risk. That back and forth "I can't live with him and I can't live without him" will cause problems down the road, and would cause problems to the OP if for some reason he caught her on the rebound.
And this, apart from my own feelings, is partly why I'm concerned that she may have acted in haste in accepting this guy's proposal, and that even though I'm sure they love one another, I sincerely hope and pray this will not lead to something she'll regret later on until it's far too late.