Well, when you are distressed and are faced with "nothing", you seek out and try to find guidance. I was hurting . I demanded an explanation for the church position on ivf - I wanted to "kidnap" a priest and I wanted him to look me straight in the eye and tell me why I could not have children.... and so you see, that even though I had answered a yes in obedience to the church to stay away from ivf, It was a decision that caused many spiritual struggles and turmoil for me in years to come. - It was bad enough that I could not physically have children but why, why oh why was I tortured with a cruel desire to have children ?
I arranged to meet my parish priest. I told him my situation. He said I was the first person in his 60 years as a priest who had ever come to him talking of these things. He asked me what IVF was and.. just picture that scene everyone ............ me a late thirties woman discussing sperm and eggs with an eighty something year old priest watching his face getting more and more shocked and disapproving . He stood up. He walked over to the shelf , pulled out the catechism and shuffled through it to find the clauses on infertility that I had read already and read them back to me .. and then He said that He would try and find out more.. He took my contact details and said He would contact me...
I walked away from that meeting almost feeling a sense of betrayal.. Here I was banging on the door of the church looking for support, at risk of straying away from the flock on this subject and I had met only ignorance .. a priest, senior in years, who did not even know what IVF was . I could wander away from the flock .. where was the shepherd to keep the flock ??
The following Sunday the parish priest rang me and told me to call down and see him . When I went there he showed me a magazine article about a new ethical church approved fertility programme called NAPRO with better success rates than ivf. He had photocopied the magazine article and gave me a copy of it.
Part 4 continued on separate thread