Infertility and Procreative Question


#1

Hello All:

I have searched the forums and have yet to find a satisfactory answer to what is a somewhat (?) unique circumstance.

My wife (a Presbyterian) and I (cradle Catholic) have been married for 9+ years and after our first biological child, we discovered that our biological child was indeed a minor miracle because my wife is for all intents and purposes infertile. Subsequently, we adopted two beautiful children and have a very happy family.

Now, she is a little older (approaching 46) and feels totally incapable of managing a household with more children. As such and without my consultation and despite being 99.9% incapable of children, she scheduled and had a cervical cap placed. She asked that I have a vasectomy but I naturally refused to do so.

From my perspective, I am not certain how to approach the intimate aspects of our marriage at this point. Practically, we cannot engage in procreative relations but she independently assured that by her decision to use contraception. If I want to be intimate with her, I am doing so with the knowledge that the act is inherently incapable of being procreative, thus being a sin?

Thank you for your kind thoughts on this topic?
JS


#2

Hello,

her sin of contraception is not yours. you can continue to have relations even though she insists on contracepting.


#3

The above poster is correct. The only thing I would add is that if you in any way gave her the go ahead or supported her decision then that is something you should probably confess to. After that, though, there's no more required of you.


#4

This question is asked again and again, search through the Ask an Apologist forum.

It is not a sin for you to have sex with a contracepting spouse, even if she uses abortifacent forms of contraception.


#5

I would wonder though why a woman of 46 with virtually NO chance of carrying a pregnancy to term, all of a sudden decides she ‘needs’ to contracept…What happened? Maybe you both need to talk. She sounds like she’s reacting to something, the best way she can think of…It’s odd…


#6

Quite candidly, I think it is fear, fear of the unknown. She is over-taxed as it is: 3 children under the age of 8 while she is 46 plus working outside the home in a family business (stressful as that dynamic can be). We've spoken about it before and it is huge fear of having another child and then being "pushed over the edge" as it were, emotionally, physically, etc.


#7

[quote="flyingfish, post:4, topic:176966"]
This question is asked again and again, search through the Ask an Apologist forum.

It is not a sin for you to have sex with a contracepting spouse, even if she uses abortifacent forms of contraception.

[/quote]

Apologies. I searched the wrong forum.

Thank you for your guidance.
John


closed #8

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