I really have a hard time even asking this because it’s so personal in nature, but the question came up between my husband and myself recently and it has me rather conflicted.
We are set to begin RCIA soon and as we have talked through the Catholic Church’s stance on moral issues such as contraception, IVF, etc., we have come to agree with the Church’s teachings on these issues.
Two questions remain, though.
My husband had a vasectomy 6 years ago. Obviously, we weren’t Catholics and we did not know the teaching regarding this at the time. My husband does regret making that decision, though, but does not wish to reverse it (which would very likely be unsuccessful because of complications that have happened). My understanding is that the Church would not require him to attempt a reversal, correct? Also, is this something that he would be required to confess upon entrance in the Catholic Church? IOW, is this a mortal sin on his soul at the present time?
Prior to his vasectomy (and the reason for it), we had twin daughters, most likely conceived using Clomid and IUI. Again, at the time, we saw nothing wrong with the procedure and were unaware of the Church’s teaching regarding IUI. We only knew that the Catholic Church was opposed to IVF, which we also felt uncomfortable with. Now knowing the Church’s teaching, we would definitely not undergo that procedure again, but is this a mortal sin on our souls currently and/or is this something that would need to be confessed by each of us?
The problem I have with confessing the IUI is that I feel that if I confess this as a sin, that I would, in essence, be admitting that I am sorry that my daughters were conceived, which I absolutely am not sorry about. I would want to have perfect contrition regarding this, but I am so confused and torn as to how that would be possible in this circumstance.
Am I just being too scrupulous about these events or am I right to worry about the state of our souls at the present time?
Thanks so much!