Inspiring someone to 'fess up


#1

Last weekend my husband and I met my brother-in-law at his alma mater to visit some friends.

We were hanging out in our friend’s dorm room, and BIL left his camera in the room while DH and BIL went to visit some other people.

When he came back, the camera was broken, and no one wants to own up to it. Unfortunately I was talking to someone and really can’t say anything more than I noticed Jack and Jill being rather clumsy with the camera. One friend saw Jack and Jill grabbing at the camera and they dropped it. Another friend says yes, they dropped it, but it fell on the bed.

BIL confronted Jill and she says she saw Jack drop it a different time. Jill was gone but Jack was in the room when BIL discovered the camerea was broken, and looked pretty mortified IMO.

Do you think there’s any way I could guilt this guy into confessing and trying to help BIL pay to get his camera fixed? This is a Catholic college, and the dude went to communion the next day. :mad:


#2

I don’t know how you could make anyone fess up but the guilt must be eating at them horribly.

I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I’d broken someone else’s property. I know college students are typically broke all the time but the least he could do was apologize.

If I had a friend that did that to me and then didn’t fess up, I would definitely see what the value of our “friendship” was.


#3

not to sound like an old nag but trying to ‘guilt’ someone into doing something can be a horrific example of Catholic teachings…remember how important prayer can be in such a situation and if anyone ASKS your opinion you can always give it…I do;)


#4

well, none of us actually know this guy- he is a new student and friends with the same people he/we were friends with before he graduated. I’ll never see him again anyway, so I couldn’t care less what he thinks of me.

BIL confronted Jill b/c he knew Jill last year. I wish I had seen the thing go down. I would have made it clear that I intended to rat the liar out once it was clear he was going to hide it.

He actually started making jokes about having been the one who broke it. Guilty conscience, don’t you think?


#5

absoutely guilty conscience and it sounds like God took care of the whole deal…I think I am amazed as how people can be so, well, scared of consequences but then I remember how I too can be stopped dead in my tracks because of self-centered fear…I just have the power of the Sacraments to get me through those times.


#6

Please pray for him. A person very close to me lost faith for many years in similar circumstances. While the camera was surely costly and the repairs won’t be cheap, either, the person who broke it and can’t confess is in great spiritual danger. He might well end up an atheist for many years over it. Please try to help him. I know how you feel and the cost is big to pay and you’re dismayed by his behaviour, but he has much more to lose here. Maybe try to make it easier on him?


#7

Forgive him and forget it. If Jesus could forgive those who were murdering him, we can forgive people who just can’t bring themselves to say they’re the guilty one. Yes?

Besides, trying to make someone confess is ill-advised for several reasons and can only lead to hurt feelings and more hassle. This is a part of learning how to deal with others when they disappoint you. Believe me, people are going to disappoint you all your life. It isn’t worth your time and trouble to hang on to any of that for the sake of your own soul’s good and your sanity.


#8

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