Hello there CAF! I hope this is the right section, most threads like this seem to be here.
I am (was) a lurker on these forums. I realized that my problems aren’t as rare as I would have thought, and I often find a thread or two dealing with whatever subject I have a question about. But I noticed something recently and I wanted to reply to it in my own words.
Many threads seem to be started by people in mixed-faith relationships. (More specifically it’s the woman who starts the thread from what I’ve seen.) And almost immediately several people reply. Which is good, answers are wanted. But most of those replies advise to break up with the non-Catholic. And it isn’t even that this non-Catholic is a bad person, that wasn’t stated usually-- the only thing that is known sometimes is that the other person doesn’t share the faith.
Now, this is at least annoying to me, and at most it’s hurtful. I’m with a non-Catholic man, you see. We’ve spoken about marriage and found out what has to be done so that he and I can get married in the Catholic Church. Yet some of you would advise us to keep apart knowing nothing else about us save our religious opinions.
Inter-faith marriages are allowed in the Catholic Church. And they do take work. Children must be raised Catholic and children will ask questions like “Why doesn’t Daddy go to Church.” Opinions on birth control or abortion or homosexuality may not be shared. But these are things that can be worked out. Talked about. Some conclusion will come of it all. I very much believe if you are willing to say your marriage vows and you believe them, then differences in opinion can be worked out.
I can understand the view of wanting to marry someone of your own faith. It’s reasonable. At one point I thought I would just date Catholics. And then I met the man that I love. Yes, yes, one can’t just have love as a base for a marriage-- I’ve read that in other threads like this. But it is a good idea to have love there somewhere, don’t you think? A wall, maybe.
And I have more faith in an inter-faith relationship with love, than one with two Catholics who don’t love.
And to make this thread more than just venting, what are your views on inter-faith couples? And why do you have these views as well?
I’m slightly more interested in the second question. I’ve seen answers to the first. A few here are married to a non-Catholic and they stick up for their spouse and their marriage. Bravo to you. Some seem to always reply with a warning and a comment about getting someone Catholic instead. One thread that made me sad was with poster who told of her non-Catholic boyfriend of 2 years. Every single reply was to break up. Not one mentioned anything about inter-faith relationships working.