Interested in a man discerning religious life

I’m 28 and in RCIA. I have met a man in my choir group who is 40 and who was received into the Church last year. He has told me that he is currently discerning whether to be a priest or a monk, so I don’t know if he has concluded that family life isn’t for him.

I am not great at relationships and I don’t know if I should try to subtly find out if he is interested in relationships, or if I should not try :confused:

He is discerning a vocation to religious life.

So, no, do not pursue him.

Hmmmm. So you like him. Hmmmm. I think what I’d do is say: “Fred, if you decide you are not called to a religious vocation at some point, give me a call if you’d like to have dinner.”

Than stay far away and don’t avoid other possibilities with other men. Being in choir together doesn’t mean you have to interact very much.


I was serious! I’m a fan of straightforward communication. Did you think it was dumb for some reason - be careful - I’m very sensitive, you know… :bighanky:

There are plenty of faithful men out there! Let yourself find them, and let this man find his vocation.

(Psst… if he were interested in dating, he wouldn’t lead off with, “So, I’m thinking of becoming a priest…” ;))

I think this is excellent advice - completely appropriate, and leaves no ambiguity! :thumbsup:

Thanks for the suggestions :slight_smile:

I can’t imagine saying to him “If you decide you are not called to a religious vocation at some point, give me a call if you’d like to have dinner” - it is honest and everything, but still seems a bit forward to me :eek: so I guess I will hold my peace and see how things go :slight_smile:

No absolutely not! I liked the answer that was a good answer. I’m just so used to hanging around people that are so… well not straight forward! So its weird to hear people speak their mind sometimes. I’m sorry if I offended! I just really like that answer!

I think this means that you realize that it inappropriate to pursue this man right now. Don’t waffle about it and wait to “see how things goes”; he is simply unavailable now and may never be if he has a priestly vocation. Don’t fret over him!

Look for some one who is available to discern marriage with. Try Catholic dating websites, retreats, mixers, ask other Catholic women about their bothers, etc. Plenty of opportunities out there.

Yes, I am not going to tell him anything. Thanks for your advice.

PS. I like your signature quote!

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