interfaith marriage


#1

My son has been going out with a Muslim Girl for 31/2 years. They are very much in love. When they first started going out he gained some knowledge of her religion as she wanted him to have an understanding of her faith. He was always welcome in her home but her mother was always trying to convert him. His girlfriend has lived in Australia for most of her life and is very Westernized, attending a government school, gone to university and works for the government department. This is where they met. Her friends are all school friends of different denominations and multicultural. She plays soccer and has attended our family birthday outings, Christmas, and is very much part of our family. 18months ago she made the decision to tell her parents that they had broken up as she was sick of her father, each night, lecturing her about my son. They liked him but insisted he had to change to Muslim ism.During this time they have been seeing each other during lunch hours and she has come to our home. They are very close and my family adore her. She has been going to counseling at work to gain the courage to tell her parents that they are together (she told them they have only been friends and got back together recently) and plan on getting married. She told them la14055403st week and her father was very supportive and said he would support her and her happiness is all that matters. Her mother was aggressive and told her she would not have anything to do with her if she proceeded to see my son. The father said he would speak to her and work it out. My son went to speak with him last night and her father told him he would need to move into their home and follow her faith if he really loved their daughter. His attitude changed as the mother threatened that if he didn’t support her it would tare the family apart. My son came home and has not slept all night, he has been crying for the most of the night, His girlfriend has spoken to me and is also crying. My son does not want to change to the Muslim faith as he doesn’t agree with some of their teachings. She has been told that if he doesn’t than he doesn’t truly love her. I told his girlfriend that I don’t want him to either ,as they have no right to try to change someone for their own gain. I am very upset for them as they are a wonderful loving couple together and all they want to do is be together, no religion as a major influence but follow a good loving life. I am worried for them.


#2

I feel so bad for your son. If the sides were reversed, and you had a daughter who was a christian and they had a son who was a Muslim there would not be such a fuss. In the Koran it is forbidden for a Muslim women to marry a non-muslim, but it is allowed for a Muslim male to marry either a Jew or a Christian, as long as they were practicing their own faith. The only thing is that the children would have to be raised in Islam.

That is why they have such a fit, because she is forbidden in their religion to marry outside her faith.


#3

I am so sorry that this is happening. I will pray for all of you.


#4

I will pray for your son.

But, if you really want to help him, you might want to ask him to open his heart and pray. His becoming a Muslim is not going to happen (I assume), so there are fundamental issues here. She needs to either take the stand and convert, or the father will have to learn tolerance, which seems to be his big issue.

What’s left, at the end of the day, is prayer.


#5

Thank you for your prayers, they are truly needed at this time. What is sad is that it is truly hard for her, as she loves her family dearly, and the only way she can see herself having a life she wants, is to leave them. She is concerned by the consequences as well. All she wants is for their love and approval.


#6

hola Stephen H,

i am very sorry for your son this is a very sad situation…

i think according to the Catholic Church we may enter into interfaith marriage, i do not know exactly what the circumstances are but since there is petrine privilege (allowing a marital separation to occur if one partner is not Catholic) there must be interfaith marriage as well…

there are certain things which must happen though… marrying somebody who is not Catholic does not mean he may forgo the sacrament… they would have to be married in a Catholic Church with a Catholic wedding ceremony… also their children must be raised as Catholics.

i think these might be further impediments to your sons’ desire to marry the muslim girl… and puts even more pressure on her… this is very difficult, i truly hope that she embraces salvation and love together but God knows best. i do not want to overstep my mark but i really if she asks him to do something against Catholicism out of love for her he needs to back away… which would hurt very much but God is not cruel and the person he is truly meant for will someday come along… we must always love God before anything…

i will pray for you and your son and this girl! i am so sorry that things are this way…

Dominus Vobiscum


#7

Interfaith marriage is dangerous and should be discouraged.

I am sorry that you did not attempt to help your son see this was a poor choice 3 1/2 years ago.

Of course he cannot convert to the Muslim faith. And, she would be disowned (or worse) if she converted to the Christian faith.

I know they believe they “love” each other, but this is not a solid foundation upon which to build a marriage. You need to encourage your son and this girl to move on and find someone of their own faith and background.

If you believe that religion is not important, as is implied by your statement “no religion as a major influence but follow a good loving life.” then why are you posting here? What is your question?


#8

he would have to be circumcised - surely deterrent enough?


#9

Interfaith marriage is dangerous and should be discouraged.

Poppycock

They used to say that about Catholic and Protestant marriages.

I married a woman from a staunchly anti-catholic family. I endured years of mockery, humiliation and derogatory comments. I never retaliated except to attempt to answer genuine questions.

Among my non-church going anti-cahtolic critics, two are now regular attenders at the local Lutheran Church. One a former aethiest is now one of the central figures of the Lutheran community. All those years of apologetics were not wasted.

Similarly, my wife, while not a catholic has been instrumental in ensuring our grandchildren get a good catholic education and are regular mass and sunday school attenders.

The moral is NEVER SAY NEVER! Never say NO to interfaith marriage.


#10

I disagree. Read about the many women who are stuck in islamic countries or who have lost their children. Muslims do not treat Christians equally nor do they treat women very well. If an interfaith marriage puts someone in danger or causes them to lose their faith then it is dangerous and we should say “NO”. Often someone will marry a muslim and think all is well, until they get back to Morocco or wherever. Then suddenly the nice westernized muslim turns into bin Laden and it’s to late. They have no right to demand conversion, but they do anyway. No one should give up Christ even for a nice girl or guy. “What profit a man if he gain the whole world but lose his soul?” Read this:

Go to www.meforum.org/article/520


#11

for any other faith but Islam, interfaith marriage is OK
I agree with cestusdei, too many Muslims change after getting married
it’s not a good start to a relationship that one person has to change their religion
if both are happy to let the other carry on with their own faith, fine but otherwise? there are problems with the relationship due to internal or external pressures
converts are often looked down on esp if they are not Arab/Asian - Islam is a religion of Arab supremacy


#12

My husband is Hindu and I am Catholic. Neither of our families had any problems with our interfaith marriage. I think the only thing that matters is that both people believe in God because after all we all worship the same God. It is sad that her family is being intolerant. Christians and Muslims have so much in common. I will pray for them. Maybe with love and patience they will accept it.


#13

Recently the Vatican issued a statement discouraging Catholics in Italy from marrying muslims. There have been just to many problems. We don’t have as much in common as you might think.


#14

We in no way shape or form worship the same God as a Hindu or Muslim.


#15

Of course we do. Different religions have different interpretations, but the same God is present in all of them. Theologically speaking we have much in common with Muslims. I am Catholic and I have studied Hinduism and Islam. Both are great religions. Christians and Muslims have so many problems getting along because a) we have so much in common and b) both Muslims and Christians feel their path is the only right path. Hindus believe in many paths to God.

I’m Catholic and proud, but I believe in promoting religious tolerance above all. I think this is what God wants. Why would He want us to fight?


#16

The Church disagrees with you.


#17

Only if he converts to Judaism.


#18

I will pray that God’s will be done in this situation.


#19

mgupta,
I would suggest you consider the issue of relativism. There are profound disagreements between Hindus and Catholics about God. We don’t like to talk about differences which in the end leads to worse misunderstandings.

We don’t get along with muslims because they have a penchant for persecuting Christians. They do not permit freedom of religion for Christians in their countries. If they would stop attacking and killing us we would get along better.


#20

Muslim men have to be circumcised, would an exception be made for a convert? I very much doubt it.
Circumcision at what 14?


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