I saw myself walking into a huge desert which was completely uninhabited. The color of the sand was very yellowish and I was all alone with no single creature thereabout. In the vision, I found myself walking through the desert while the sun brilliantly shone over my face. I felt extremely happy & joyful, and I was in a splendid statue that was never felt before; adjoined with real glory and a very high esteem and self-confidence. Inside my very soul, I was filled with indescribable peace of mind. My feelings were as if I was exulted in the spirit and raised to be in the realm of the gods. My face shone with splendor and brilliance opposite to the sun. There was absolutely nothing desired or needed as I walked through the desert. I was totally contended and supremely satisfied.
As I walked, I said to my self: “If seclusion like this can bring me this magnificent state of mind and feeling of extreme well being, I certainly need no one to be with.” I truly felt that God was living in me as I walked through the desert; God’s Majestic being was sensed inside my spirit and soul, and my thoughts were incomparable to any thing I have ever experienced in the past…………Suddenly, I began to see thorns and thistles growing ahead and around me covering all the area that surrounding me as I proceeded in my walk. I then looked for a piece of wood or a rod to use as I walked through the thorns which I found. As the way became more difficult due to the appearance of these thick thorns, I used my rod to safely go through. After a while, I crossed my way through the thorns, and then I stopped and looked ahead of me, and behold, I saw a very black goat that was standing above a rocky area and lifting one of its legs (Hoof) above the ground. I immediately said to my self: “This goat may have walked through the thorns which I had just crossed through, and that it is lifting one of its hoofs above the ground as it may have been hurt, and most likely it is bleeding.” I said to my self, as I was thinking how to help this goat, “If it is bleeding, I thought, I would take a piece of my shirt and rap it around his leg to stop the bleeding and to comfort him (it)”. When I approached the goat wanting to check his leg, the goat screamed in my face with a scream that cannot possibly be described. His voice was absolutely odd and unknown to human being. It was louder than any thing I ever heard coming out of an animal or man. The goat kept on screaming and screaming and screaming continuously without stopping while I was standing contemplating and wondering if I had done something wrong. After a while, while the goat is still in his steadily, annoyingly screaming state and without changes in his tone of sound, I began to suspect my very self as being the cause of this goat’s strange behavior which had not stopped screaming and screaming yet! At this moment I began to doubt myself; I said to my self: “If this goat is so scared of me to that extent, then what is in me cannot possibly be God.” Immediately when that thought crossed my mind, I felt as if something in my spirit had raptured out and left me in full despair and agony. Instantaneously, the goat stopped screaming, and immediately thereafter I felt so sad, so scared, terrified, and lacking joy and confidence, and then darkness began to creep around me. The goat then carried me through the air and brought me to the very place I lived when I was very young; the place was a ranch that my grandfather owned and I often used to spend joyful time in that place. I looked around and saw friends and relatives celebrating and drinking and having great joy. I then said to my self, as I looked at them 200 feet afar: "What could they be so happy about?” “There is nothing worthy in this world to making somebody happy anymore.” Then, again I looked around me and saw the goat standing next to me. I felt as I stood with him so depressed, so scared and in indescribable despair and extremely in melancholy with no confidence in my self, or self-esteem.
I cannot forget this vision while I live, or if I live over 1000 years, or even after I die. It has brought to me so much tears and sorrow and much despair that the word cannot describe!!!
In my attempt to understand who the goat represents, I became very much aware that the goat resembles AZAZIL, which was the scape goat that the Old Testament described as the goat that carried the sins of the people of Israel and was left free to stay in the desert, while the other goat was prepared to be slain on the alter for the sacrifice of sin.
Can any one who has the gift of dream interpretation reveal the meaning of this dream to me? I will be more than just grateful to any one who could make the meaning of this dream explained provided that the interpretation comes from the Holy Spirit and not from human effort!
I love Jesus with all my heart!