We are past child bearing years. 50's I have always felt that sex within marriage strengthens the emotional bond and marriage bond as well as a spiritual bond, (the two become one) and not just a physical action of release or a way to have children. What are the church teachings in my situation? Am I wrong to not only want and desire relations with my husband but expect it as part of our marriage vows and as a way to deepen our relationship? We have been married 20 years and our sex life has taken a sharp decline this year. I am hurt, concerned and frustrated. He says he still loves me, I feel a lessening of connection.
Absolutely that's true!
However, as we age things change, right??? Could there be an underlying, and rather embarrassing, medical issue he's dealing with that may be making things more challenging?
It may be worth trying to open up a conversation... without getting defensive or emotional... these things can be difficult to talk about...
He should go to a doctor right away. He can supplement testosterone if needed or get treatment for depression. If you are not in a marriage crisis this could be a physical problem that is not difficult to treat.
If you were having problems within the marriage before his sex drive declined, then it's time for marriage counseling.
But, first things first. Ask him to see a doctor.
Absolutely see a doctor; but if it is a spiritual issue; perhaps it would be good to read 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Especially vs. 4&5. But check out all of ch. 7.
Corinthians 7:4-5 (New International Version)
4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Vs 5 is not to be taken lightly.
Your husband should definitely see a doctor.
My husband was rather lack-luster when he hit middle age. He was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor (non-malignant) that was interfering with his testosterone production. His testosterone level was less than most little girls.
The doctor prescribed meds that shrank the tumor, and my husband's testosterone level started increasing as the tumor started decreasing.