Invalid Confession? I need Catholic advice, pref a priest if possible



Yesterday I went to confession and something has been bothering me ever since. I am a male and have a temptation which deals with a fetish towards pre-op male to female transgender escorts. I committed a mortal sin by acting on this temptation and committed an unnatural sexual act with an escort. So filled with shame and anxiety I paced back and forth deciding whether or not to go to confession since it was my regular confessor whom I admire and respect and the idea that I have let him down weighed heavy on me. Plus the shame of admitting this to him seemed too great to bear. I almost left, but I prayed and asked our Blessed Mother to take me by the hand and get me past motives of human respect and to say sorry to Christ, not the priest, by way of the Sacrament. So with God’s grace and Our Lady’s help, I made my confession.

My question now is this. I confessed that I had tried to contact multiple escorts, and that I had visited one, and had committed an unnatural sexual act with this person. I confessed being an occasion of their sin and confessed viewing pornographic sites and images. The priest’s advice and council was not only amazing but extremely merciful. Yet towards the end one of the penances was to pray for the escort (which I completely agree with), but when Fr. said this, he told me to pray for “her”, which quickly lead me to realize I had forgotten the part of telling him it was a transsexual and that the “her” is by gender a him. I froze and did not correct Fr. and said I would pray for them.

Since leaving the confessional I have questioned if I have made an invalid confession by not correcting Fr’s. misunderstanding. I know we are to say the circumstances of our sins since this can either diminish the sin or make it greater and I’ve always struggled with how much to say, when it comes to impure acts, because I do not feel there is a need to be graphic, but I know there needs to be somewhat of a clear understanding. I guess I want to know if I should go back to confession again or if my confession was valid? I did not go to confession with the intent of being vague or concealing anything. I admit that in the confessional fear had seized me and I did not correct Fr after realizing he thought my escort was a woman, but was this enough to make my confession invalid? I don’t want to abuse this Sacrament, but I also do not want to make it a habit of being scrupulous (which I believe is what I am doing).

Advice from fellow Catholics would be greatly appreciated. If there is a priest on here, I would especially like you to give me advice.

God bless and sorry for the long post. :blush:


Be at peace. You have confessed your sin and been absolved. No your confession was not invalid.


Number and kind and circumstances that would change the species of sin. They are sins of fantasy (9th commandment) and act (6th commandment) for the species of unnatural vice which you identified correctly.


If you did not intend to conceal anything, your confession should be valid. Simply because the priest said “she” does not mean he necessarily misunderstood you. Since you seem so clearly open and honest about the situation in this post, I can hardly see how you intended to mislead or be unclear in any way.

The fact you had the grace to have the courage and desire to want to go to confession is heroic and admirable and inspiring!

Be at peace! God bless you!


I noticed you did not put Catholic as your Religion so I will presume it is, idle hands cause an idle mind, have you ever thought of doing some voluntary work in a charitable organization, Pray more to conquer these disordered thoughts and acts, go to Confession every week to get yourself into a routine even just for venial sins, no you are not being scrupulous , if we commit mortal sin we have to go to Confession so well done on that .

Pray to Our Lady to keep your mind from going into over drive.

God Bless and walk with God.


^ This. Be at peace, Simpleton. Your sins are forgiven! :slight_smile:

Once you complete your list of sins, you’re done. It doesn’t matter if you remember 1000 mortal sins in the time the priest gives his talk before the absolution. You did not deliberately withhold anything while confessing your sins.




That’s it.
Nothing to add.

You have been forgiven but the most difficult is sometimes to forgive youself…


I would like to say thank you to everyone for the kind replies and advice. I am going to put my trust in God’s mercy and move forward.

God bless and please pray for me.


Bless you for your frankness .

You have done enough and more than enough to confess with a sincere heart .

You are forgiven .

May you be blessed in your battle against these troublesome temptations , but don’t let them get you down .


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