Invalid wedding question

ok, i know i’ve already posted about this, but the thread got a bit off track last time.

anyways, i’ve received the formal invitation from my nonchristian friend who is getting remarried now. i’ve been thinking and praying a lotbut sitll don’t knwo what to do. i still have some time though, it’s not until august

i asked about it confession to the priest who runs the marriage tribunal and he said it wouldn’t be sinful if i attended because noncatholics do not have a decree of nullity process and therefore we don’t really know if his first marriage was valid or not. i don’t mean to quesiton the priest but is that actually true? i didn’t think so…

also, have any of you been in a similar situation and what did you do?

I don’t see any problem with you going to this wedding. I think you should go and be there for your friend. Since he thought enough of you to invite you this far in advanced, I think it would mean a great deal to him if you were there.

but wouldn’t i be supporting him in sinful behaviour since he has been previously married? as a catholic, would it be seen as me not really caring about the proper definition of marriage?

If your friend is not Catholic, the rules that govern Catholic marriage do not apply. I see no reason why you should not attend the wedding. Go and have a good time

For crying out loud. it’s not about you. Just go to the wedding and enjoy yourself. Be gracious and thankful. They are not Christian. They will be legally, if not sacramentally, married. They have asked you to attend. Go.

does anyone realize what i’m saying? he’s been previously married. this is an impediment to another marriage, catholic or not, isn’t it?

but the impediment of a pervious marriage sitll does apply, that’s not just a catholic thing

Your priest has answered you, and several people here have answered you.

i don’t get it, i thought it was catohlic teaching. if it doesn’t matter, why do we have the decree of nullity for when people come in to the church? how is it ok for nonchatoilics to get remarried now?

i’m confused and am loooking for answers with proper church teaching. i asked for an explanation, not criticism about thinking it’s about me because it obviously sin’t, it’s about God and what he says is ok and not ok

So what? He is NOT a Catholic or even Christian. It doesn’t matter. Be gracious and attend - without scolding, muttering, or eye-rolling.

There are no Church “rules” rgearding attending such weddings. The question comes up here a bit and has been addressed thus in the ask an apologist section:

Here is another link of interest:

In short, you must use your own judgement, and weigh the pros and cons of your attending or not.

what do you mean it doesn’t matter? jesus says if someone divorces and marries another, they are commiting adultery. what difference does it make it they’re catholic or not?

Go by what your priest has told you, A Catholic has an informed mind of what the Church teaches, so one knows what is the teaching of the Church, but say you went on a holiday to a remote island and the people there had little to do with civilisation you would not expect them to know the proper teachings of the Church or any teachings maybe of any kind, and they invited you to a wedding , would you go, of course you would.

Your friend maybe has no religion, and by you going to his wedding you might be the seed needed to evangelize him, actions sometimes say more than words, for instance doing the sign of the Cross before you eat, acting in a Christian manner.

Your over thinking things, please don’t be more Catholic than the Pope.

The Church teaches that you must receive an annulment before getting remarried if you are Catholic or in a “sacramental marriage.” Your non Christian friend would be neither. He/she would be entering a “natural marriage” with is not joined together by Christ.

You are ok to attend because your friend was not previously in a Sacramental marriage and not attempting to enter another one.

God Bless

thank you, i appreciate this. maybe i just misunderstood the priest. but he didn’t say it like this, he said it woulnd’t be a sin at all without really explaining why. which really concerns me since he runs the marriage tribunal. i thik i know that he is trying to be pastoral but maybe it’s too lax?

What we have here, friends, is a situation all too common on this forum.

Someone has a concern and wants to remain a faithful Catholic, and would like their question to be addressed. That question is: since I presume the first marriage to be valid, I don’t know if going to this second is right. I feel as though it is just as invalid as, say, a marriage between cousins. **Why does my opinion of what the Catholic Church teaches not mesh with what I am being told? ** I am afraid because I do not want to offend my God.

And no one has answered this question. If any of us want to be helpful, and show the world that living a truly Catholic life bears fruit, let’s look at what’s being asked before we answer it! Look, it’s not a big deal if you misfire once, but when the OP is clearly confused and asking for clarification because their answer was maladdressed, repeating the same thing over again is not the solution.

Edit: for clarification, this was written before there were more than, say, 8 posts in the topic. I feel that later posts have been of more utility.

Celtic maiden is right. Everyone is telling you to go to the wedding. Maybe you are the one who doesn’t get it. Jesus ate and drank with sinners and the pious skunks of his day scolded him for it. He went among them out of love and concern. He did not scold. Refusing to go on religious grounds makes the Church look bad. Perhaps you’ll invite someone to your own marriage or other life event which takes place in church and one of your guests will refuse to come because he or she finds something morally objectionable about your being Catholic. How will you react? Don’t be so intolerant. Love them. Be gracious. Bring a nice gift.

i’m not being more catholic than the pope. but i don’t want to approve of others and their sins. this person already knows i’m catholic. if i go, they’ll think that divorce and remarriage is perfectly fine or that i don’t care

Huh? Their previous marriage was not sacramental. they are not Catholic or even Christian. This isn’t about you. if they are friends, go to their wedding. Don’t be intolerant and stubborn. That makes a very poor witness for Christian charity. Look to the example Jesus set in the gospels. God’s job is to judge. Our job is to love. If you’re not God, I’d recommend not trying to usurp his role.

thank you so much. i am so relieved to read this. could you help me out though? as far as i know, we’re talking about the validity of a marriage, not sacramental. and everyone says that Jesus ate with sinners, but he didn’t not approve of their sin. sure i’ll go to the wedding, if i can go in a way that doesn’t affirm their sin or anything like that. because if i just show up there, people will think i’m in favor of it and that it’s perfectly fine. also, divorce and remarriage is not just a catholic law

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit