Invitation--And Guest?


#1

Okay so i am running into a problem. We well being inviting a few religious folks (priest and seminaries) to our wedding. Do they get an “Father Dan and Guest” or just a “Father Dan”.


#2

Unless Father Dan has a wife or a long-term significant other, then it’s just Father Dan. And if I know Catholic priests, it should be just that. :wink:

As I understand it, the etiquitte is if a person has a steady boy/girlfriend or a fiance, then you should extend the invitiation to them which can say “Jane Doe and Guest”. If not, then it’s just “Jane Doe.” However, if the guest won’t know anyone at the wedding, it would be polite to let them bring a guest. But that’s JMO.


#3

YEs to the catholic priest but one will have a wife since our parish is an Anglican Use parish. We have a married priest or two.

In general: I keep trying to explain to my finance that the “and guest” is not needed unless they have someone and we know them.


#4

well I think Miss Manners would say you should only be inviting people you know well enough to invite, so everyone should have an invitation with their name on it. So you invite Fr. Dan Smith. If you would also like to invite the other priest at the parish you send another invitation to Fr. John Jones. If you want to invite people who reside at the same address, you can send one invitation, with the names of all the family members you are inviting on the envelope.
Mr. and Mrs. Albert Garza
Miss Violet Garza
Mr. John Garza
(or Master John Garza if he is very young)

If you are inviting two people who appear to be cohabiting without going the marriage route as you are doing, you send them each their own invitation, even if they are going to the same address, because in etiquette we don't speculate about their private living arrangements.

Bottom line there is no reason for a single person who receives a wedding invitation to think they are required, expected, or allowed to bring a date who has not been invited. That is a plot for a movie, not a rule of etiquette. Certainly a priest does not need a date.


#5

The only other thing I could think of is if they have an elderly parent that lives with them. I have a priest friend whose elderly mother lives with him. If Father G is invited I usually will also invite his mother.


#6

[quote="beckers, post:1, topic:199504"]
Okay so i am running into a problem. We well being inviting a few religious folks (priest and seminaries) to our wedding. Do they get an "Father Dan and Guest" or just a "Father Dan".

[/quote]

Just "Father Dan", or, more formally, "The Reverend Daniel Smith", as we can assume he won't be bringing a date. ;) (Unless, of course, the priest is married, which is entirely possible...)

Seminarians would just be "Mr. Smth" or, if already an ordained deacon, "The Reverend Mr. Smith"

For wedding invitations, unless for an extremely informal wedding, err on the side of formality in address.

(Been there, done this twice, glad I don't have to again!!!)


#7

so you would address the invitation since they reside at the same address to Fr. Dan Smith and on the next line, Mrs. Adele Smith (the mailman has no time to speculate so don't sweat it). If she lives, say at the assisted living place, she gets her own invitation if you know the address, or it is quite in etiquette to hand write on the invitation inside, Father please bring your dear mother with you, we so enjoy seeing her.


#8

[quote="Catherine_W, post:5, topic:199504"]
The only other thing I could think of is if they have an elderly parent that lives with them. I have a priest friend whose elderly mother lives with him. If Father G is invited I usually will also invite his mother.

[/quote]

That is very kind and thoughtful. :thumbsup:


#9

Well, out of respect to the priesthood, an invitation to "Father Dan" should be just for him only, unless you'd like to perhaps consider inviting his mother, if she's in the area.

But I would choose my wording very carefully for any seminarians being considered... for those single men, you might add something like "You may bring a friend, if you wish."

I'm no etiquette expert, by any means...


#10

[quote="beckers, post:1, topic:199504"]
Okay so i am running into a problem. We well being inviting a few religious folks (priest and seminaries) to our wedding. Do they get an "Father Dan and Guest" or just a "Father Dan".

[/quote]

For a man, "and guest" denotes a date. For a woman, "and escort" denotes a date.

Since priests do not bring dates to social engagements, the invitation should be addressed only to the priest. And, the invitation should be addressed to "Fr. Smith" on the inside envelope, not "Fr. Dan."


#11

If you invite a married priest, then the inside envelope should be addressed:

The Right Reverend and Mrs. Robinson

and actually, for a priest it should be The Right Reverend Smith, not “Father Smith” to be correct.

Right, “and guest” or “and escort” should only be used when someone you know well has recently begun dating someone and you do not know that person well enough to invite them by name.

Do you have a copy of Crane’s Blue Book? I bought my copy at Half Price Books, and it was worth every penny.


#12

I have always understood and did this with my son's weddings, anyone who is single and could or may or would date or who has friends gets an invitation for Miss Jenny Smith and Guest, Mr. Jack Smith and Guest.. As a widow, I have friends who I might ask to go with me who aren't dates, maybe a female friend or a male friend or perhaps (God Willing someday) a date. It's awkward to go to social events such as weddings alone and it makes it less fun to go alone, and even if I'm not dating someone, I'd much rather be able to bring a friend with me. And honestly, unless I was VERY (mom, gmom, sister, etc.) to the person getting married, I would probably not go alone. So, that's just my opinion. :)


closed #13

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