Okay, here are the facts: I invited that girl to a ball which is going to happen some time this spring as a part of my university’s anniversary celebration. She wasn’t swept off her feet, she reacted more like a friend being dragged to a pub or football game, she made a reservation for a prior arrangement (a friend’s wedding) should it clash, it seemed a bit in a slightly “okay, what does it hurt,” way, and that’s it. But it looks like an oral agreement, an invitation, a word given maybe.
Afterwards, a number of conversations followed, including her referring to our regular sentimental meetings several years ago as “meeting out of duty” - i.e. as if it had only been meeting in class in a course, forgetting roaming parks by night afterward, cafes and such. She backed out of a tentative arrangement she had proposed - “we definitely have to soon” changed into, “I didn’t think we would have to meet so often, you know, doucement.” I really have no desire to talk to her and I had to force myself to send Easter wishes. There’s an e-mail from February that she hasn’t answered yet and while she accepted my Facebook invitation around that time, we haven’t swapped a single message since then. No phone no mail, no anything. I’m hurt by the playing down of our friendship, I don’t appreciate the tone or wording she employs, and I think she crossed more than one line on the last day we talked and before then also. But an agreement is an agreement and an invitation is an invitation. No matter how I bend my grey cells to justify it, I can’t really.
So do I send a thoroughly unenchanting message saying, “Greetings, that ball we talked about is taking place some time soon. Do you care to go or not really?” then collect a “not really” response and go alone, or do I err… stand by whatever promise I gave her even if she doesn’t probably care or remember? Or do I skip the event and not contact her either, pretending I don’t exist? Doubt she’ll notice anyway, but I feel bad going back on my word. :o You don’t just invite a woman and then “forget” it. :o