Invited to a "passion party"


#1

A friend of mine from work recently invited me to a “Passion Party” she is hosting. I decided not to go for several reasons - for one, sex is sacred and between my husband and I. I think it’s important to keep that between us, and I don’t want to share specifics with others (which usually comes up with women at these parties, from what I understand.) Another reason is that there are a lot of unmarried women from work going there, to buy “personal” products or things to use with boyfriends, and I felt like going to this party supported premarital sex. What do you think - are these reasons sound? I realize many of my co-workers will think I’m a prude. There’s zero support for my morals and beliefs from any of the people I work with. I wish I could share with them how awesome married sex is and they don’t need all this extra stuff. Any thoughts?


#2

[quote=goravens]What do you think - are these reasons sound? I realize many of my co-workers will think I’m a prude. There’s zero support for my morals and beliefs from any of the people I work with.
[/quote]

If you don’t feel comfortable with it then by all means don’t go. You don’t have to justify your feelings. You aren’t interfering with anyone else just making a choice for yourself.


#3

:rotfl: Please forgive me. Upon looking at the title of the thread, I thought you were going to a “Passion of the Christ” party whereby everyone was going to watch the movie!!

WHOA, was I mistaken!! Sorry.

Yes, don’t go. What a silly idea for a party. Don’t sweat it. I rarely go to “after hour” parties or “happy hour” with my co-workers. They look at me strangely when I say that if I am going out, I’d rather go with my wife TOO.

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for male bonding or female bonding etc, but I couldn’t imagine going to a party where 1) my wife wasn’t invited and 2)it was all about sex??? Juvenile is the nice term for it.


#4

[quote=goravens]A friend of mine from work recently invited me to a “Passion Party” she is hosting. I decided not to go for several reasons - for one, sex is sacred and between my husband and I. I think it’s important to keep that between us, and I don’t want to share specifics with others (which usually comes up with women at these parties, from what I understand.) Another reason is that there are a lot of unmarried women from work going there, to buy “personal” products or things to use with boyfriends, and I felt like going to this party supported premarital sex. What do you think - are these reasons sound? I realize many of my co-workers will think I’m a prude. There’s zero support for my morals and beliefs from any of the people I work with. I wish I could share with them how awesome married sex is and they don’t need all this extra stuff. Any thoughts?
[/quote]

Funny…a friend of mine from work recently invited me to a “Tupperware party” she is hosting. I decided not to go for several reasons–for one, leftovers are sacred and between my husband and I. I think it’s important to keep that between us, and I don’t want to share recipies with others (which usually comes up with women at these parties, from what I understand.) Another reason is that there are a lot of unmarried women from work going there, to buy “personal” storage products or picnic things to use with boyfriends and I felt like going to this party supported premarital meal-making. What do you think- are these reasons sound? I realize many of my co-workers will think I’m stingy. There’s zero support for my morals and beliefs from any of the people I work with. I wish I could share with them how awesome married meal planning is and they don’t need all this extra stuff. Any thoughts?


#5

No problem. You are “busy” that night - the plumbing has been leaking, an your brother -in-law’ neighbor’s best friend is a plumber and gosh don’t you know how much these folks charge and he’s coming over to fix it for 1/3 of what you were quoted by the local plumbing shop.

No problem. The Wicked Witch of the West is coming over that night and you have to entertain her, because her son, your dearly beloved and soon to be deceased husband is playing poker with his buddies and she can’t know because her third husband died during a poker game and sh’s still upset about that don’t you know, and besides after outliving three husbands the old bag is rich!

No problem! You are busy that night because that’s the night you and your husband have a “date” and he has just been the sweetest thing; he does the laundry and even gets the delicates and the whites separated out and he cooked me dinner last Saturday and took me to this really romantic movie afterwards and when I get done with him he won’t have the strength to go to work the next day. Toys? He doesn’t need toys! He has me!

Come on! Be creative! Mess with their heads! Drop a hint, just now and then, about how awesome it is. You don’t need details; just something like “I can’t believe how good he was last night!”, along with a lopsided grin. Don’t presume that the only way you can get this across is to preach. A hint here and there, just enough information to make them crazy; they’ll ask. Then you can tell. It’s like dating; a little bit at a time, then withhold.

If they don’t approve, or think you’re nuts, hey - consider the source!

They haven’t figured out a really simple rule of behavior: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is one good definition of insanity. They need toys. Why? Because they are not getting the results they want. But they keep doing…


#6

[quote=goravens]A friend of mine from work recently invited me to a “Passion Party” she is hosting. I decided not to go for several reasons - for one, sex is sacred and between my husband and I. I think it’s important to keep that between us, and I don’t want to share specifics with others (which usually comes up with women at these parties, from what I understand.) Another reason is that there are a lot of unmarried women from work going there, to buy “personal” products or things to use with boyfriends, and I felt like going to this party supported premarital sex. What do you think - are these reasons sound? I realize many of my co-workers will think I’m a prude. There’s zero support for my morals and beliefs from any of the people I work with. I wish I could share with them how awesome married sex is and they don’t need all this extra stuff. Any thoughts?
[/quote]

Hello. Someone made the comment that you don’t have to justify your feelings on the matter, but it seems as if you may be asking yourself whether you made the right decision.

On the one hand, this party sounds rather crude, especially since it isn’t a party strictly for married couples or women wanting to enhance their sex lives. You’re right–there will probably be a lot of vulgarity involved, and it’ll probably accentuate the lustful urge.

On the other hand, this may be a good way of bonding with your coworkers. It’s possible that by not going you’re only reinforcing their conception that your morals and beliefs are square. Perhaps by being open-minded, not to immorality but to other personalities, you may inspire in them a sense of *curiosity *as to why you believe in the things you do.

So there are positives and negatives to going to this party. It’s obviously up to you. If you did go, of course you would have to walk a prayer-filled line, not indulging in the vulgarity and yet not sitting with your arms crossed either. If you do go I would suggest *not *mentioning the Church at all unless someone asks you a specific question about it. Be a fun presence and be a friend.

Good luck,
Jamie


#7

[quote=nohself]Hello. Someone made the comment that you don’t have to justify your feelings on the matter, but it seems as if you may be asking yourself whether you made the right decision.

On the one hand, this party sounds rather crude, especially since it isn’t a party strictly for married couples or women wanting to enhance their sex lives. You’re right–there will probably be a lot of vulgarity involved, and it’ll probably accentuate the lustful urge.

On the other hand, this may be a good way of bonding with your coworkers. It’s possible that by not going you’re only reinforcing their conception that your morals and beliefs are square. Perhaps by being open-minded, not to immorality but to other personalities, you may inspire in them a sense of *curiosity *as to why you believe in the things you do.

So there are positives and negatives to going to this party. It’s obviously up to you. If you did go, of course you would have to walk a prayer-filled line, not indulging in the vulgarity and yet not sitting with your arms crossed either. If you do go I would suggest *not *mentioning the Church at all unless someone asks you a specific question about it. Be a fun presence and be a friend.

Good luck,
Jamie
[/quote]

Thank you - you hit the nail on the head. I’m asking for opinions on if I made the right choice or not, as I enjoy my co-workers a great deal but am just questioning if going to this will lead me into sin/justify others in things that aren’t right. But I do want to witness to others in this area, so thank you all for the good ideas.

I’m sorry for the misleading topic for the person who thought it would be a Passion of the Christ party!

I struggle a lot with wanting to live out my faith everywhere, including work, so thank you for those of you who gave genuine support with this.


#8

say no, and mean it. - it is called evangelizing. Same thing goes when they want to hire a stripper for a shower. I, too, thought you meant that all the girls were getting together to watch the Passion movie on DVD and have a faith sharing session afterwards. I hang around the wrong websites, it is clear to see. If everybody involved is co-workers, it is a highly unprofessional situation anyhow, if you are looking for grounds to refuse.


#9

To the origional thread starter. I got invited to one of these “passion partys” and I relented and went.My freind was broke and said it would make some money for her:nope: Needless to say I was in confession the next week.I am married,but the “products” they sell:eek: I will not go into specific gadgets but they have books that are supposedly “sex guides”:nope: Pornography is all it is with pictures:mad: Never go to one of these, the things I saw will be etched in my mind now.God Bless and you did the right thing.


#10

No offense to nohself, but you may not want to bond with your coworkers to the extent they want. My coworkers used to go out to a strip joint for women (I forget the name - it’s famous) and have a wild time. They never invited me. And when a gay coworker of mine got “married”, he didn’t invite me to the event. I take that as a compliment. Course they could just think I’m a stodgy prude, but that’s okay too. “Square” equates with having integrity.
When they want good advice, they’ll come to you if you haven’t compromised your morals.


#11

[quote=Viki59]No offense to nohself, but you may not want to bond with your coworkers to the extent they want. My coworkers used to go out to a strip joint for women (I forget the name - it’s famous) and have a wild time. They never invited me. And when a gay coworker of mine got “married”, he didn’t invite me to the event. I take that as a compliment. Course they could just think I’m a stodgy prude, but that’s okay too. “Square” equates with having integrity.
When they want good advice, they’ll come to you if you haven’t compromised your morals.
[/quote]

No offense taken. Yeah, I’m not really suggesting that she go. I simply gave positives and negatives. Christ spent a lot of time with prostitutes and tax collectors. If someone feels spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually strong enough they might want to enter a danger zone for the sake of being a Christ-like presence. But it all depends on the strengths and weaknesses of the individual.

Jamie


#12

[font=‘Comic Sans MS’]WWJD? aptly applies here. My gosh, such a corrossion of decency and lack of prudence that others think not of even a blush to attend or host such a “party” as described. Unless you feel called to be the presence of Christ there for evangelization, then by all means don’t go. And, if you so feel called and have the grace of courage, then respectfully inform your coworker friend why. Why not? Water and oil do not mix, so why should we as Christians expect any less? As last Sunday’s Gospel reading expounded, we are to be the salt of the world, and if the salt (our witness through words and action) losses its taste, then it is useless and to be thrown out. To have a ‘to be in the world but not of it, as sojourners in an alien land’ discipleship perspective.

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#13

I think of St. Paul’s statement in scripture where he says, “I will be all things to all people”, or something to that effect. In other words, he was so passionate to witness to the Gospel that he was willing to meet anyone on their turf. This did not mean he would ever compromise his beliefs, far from it. He was so filled with the love of Christ that it could withstand any situation and penetrate it with love and compassion. He would look for the good in any person or situation and by his lack of hesitation to mingle with sinners (as Christ did) - this in itself was a witness.

So… as this party with your co-workers might, and probably will, involve unchristian elements - I can see it as a great opportunity to be able to witness in a couple of different ways. First of all, by your acceptance of the invitation, you send the message that you are willing to at least “hear them out” and accept “them” - not necessarily what they are selling or accepting in their lives. This can be quite powerful and will make you more approachable in their eyes. They already know you from working with you that you are a christian. It will come as no surprise I am sure. Being that you are a married lady, this gives you a great opportunity to share YOUR values and allow the beauty of marriage to shine. Believe me, if you plant but just one tiny mustard seed in one heart that night - it will be well worth it. Perhaps there is someone there who is secretly unhappy in her outside of marriage sexual behavior and by your kind witness she may be spurred on to change. You just never know. It is not as if you are agreeing to go and “sin” at this party. Many priests and evangelists through the ages place themselves in the thick of sin situations (bars, drug houses, prostitutes etc.) in order to witness. Does not mean they “participate”. But by their very presence - and willingness to BE present - sends a powerful message. “Be Not Afraid” is one of the Holy Father’s oft repeated phrases. I say go! And be not afraid! Your presence and willingness to find GOOD in their company and to be able to witness to the beauty of married life - is quite virtuous.
Just my 2 cents worth! God Bless! And let us know what you decide. :slight_smile:


#14

[quote=Island Oak]Funny…a friend of mine from work recently invited me to a “Tupperware party” she is hosting. I decided not to go for several reasons–for one, leftovers are sacred and between my husband and I. I think it’s important to keep that between us, and I don’t want to share recipies with others (which usually comes up with women at these parties, from what I understand.) Another reason is that there are a lot of unmarried women from work going there, to buy “personal” storage products or picnic things to use with boyfriends and I felt like going to this party supported premarital meal-making. What do you think- are these reasons sound? I realize many of my co-workers will think I’m stingy. There’s zero support for my morals and beliefs from any of the people I work with. I wish I could share with them how awesome married meal planning is and they don’t need all this extra stuff. Any thoughts?
[/quote]

Island Oak: surely you don’t think sex is as ammoral as cooking?


#15

[quote=maendem]Island Oak: surely you don’t think sex is as ammoral as cooking?
[/quote]

Maendem…surely you gave up your sense of humor for Lent.


#16

For heavens sake, I meant it as an honest question. I did enjoy your clever post; the question came to me later because I’m guessing some in the forum would argue sex was morally neutral, and having read some other posts of yours, was doubting you had that view.


#17

Rest assured in the knowledge that I find sex and morality inextricably linked–whereas leftovers and food storage are the playground of the relativist in me. As for a semi-serious reply to the original question–I would avoid the party simply because I find the format so irretrievably base and classless that I would be mortified to find myself invited, much less in attendance. I can imagine beyond that objection there are any number of moralistic reasons to decline…I just never wandered in that deep.


#18

Passion parties are a waste of time just like most parties to me…

You see, I am young, and I have to avoid MANY parties in favor of trying to keep myself from the “near occasion of sin”…and the people I work with and other non-Catholic friends of mine sure do like to hassle me about not going to parties and “get togethers”.
Funny, they say I am like an old man even though I’m in my 20’s because I don’t “like to have fun” and “move slower in everything” than most people my age…whatever! I do like to have fun, just not immoral fun, and I move slow because I am always thinking and contemplating things in my heart that will not leave me alone. What is funny is that when I was in the military, they would say “oh, you move so slow all the time, you’re like an old man”…and then when PT (Physical Training) time would roll around, we would do the 5K run (3.2 miles) and everyone that said I move “too slow” would cross the finish line long after me…
Let people think what they will, just remember that Jesus is with you, (and provided you pray, love them and never give up) we’ll see who wins the race…

Pray for them and that they will run with you (amend their lives/convert), and don’t worry, all we can do is pray, try, hope, and have faith that Our Lord loves us so much that even when we stumble through the worst offenses, that he will pick us up again and allow us through His Mercy to get up, and go at it again. Real friends like Jesus never give up on you and don’t invite you to parties that would conflict with your morals…the wrong friends you will know them by their lifestyle, love them, just don’t feel like you need to hang out with them and remember they are no less important to Jesus than you, you’re eyes are just opened up more to the Truth…pray you’ll never give up your morals, and be willing to die for them, your faith, and for Jesus…

Hope you like my little analogy:thumbsup:


#19

Just remember that Jesus ate with sinners. Mingled with them.
We are to imitate Him. Be a witness amongst them.
If you (we) do not - WHO WILL?? They will be left to mingle with and wallow with their own.
It is not as if you are agreeing to DO something sinful. Of course you would never agree to that.
You are merely being asked to come to a party and BE with them.
My guess is that you would have some valuable input to share.
Something some may have never heard nor pondered.

You never know what seed you may plant…


#20

[quote=K777angel]Just remember that Jesus ate with sinners. Mingled with them.
We are to imitate Him. Be a witness amongst them.
If you (we) do not - WHO WILL?? They will be left to mingle with and wallow with their own.
It is not as if you are agreeing to DO something sinful. Of course you would never agree to that.
You are merely being asked to come to a party and BE with them.
My guess is that you would have some valuable input to share.
Something some may have never heard nor pondered.

You never know what seed you may plant…
[/quote]

I agree, but one also needs to exercise discernment and to know their own spiritual limits and not become inundated and ineffective in your witness to the Gospel. Leaving such a party with a “slimed” feeling and next moring spiritual “hangover” is not pleasant. Good to find an ally to attend with, especially if newer public witness or feeling overly intimidated. Regardless, if you do decide to attend, put on the spiritual warfare armament and pray – see Ephesians 6: 10-18.


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