(PART 2) (FINAL PART)
But here is where the final bizzare twist comes in. Yesterday, Mass was ending and I was walking out the door to shake hands with my pastor and tell him goodbye before I went home. And he stopped me and told me that he wanted me to invite me to go with him out of town to go visit a seminary with him. I asked him what it was all about. He told me that he was inviting me because over the summer I attended a weekly meeting of high school/college Catholic men who got together, had mass, had dinner, listened to talks from priests and played sports during the night, basically a men’s club. However, it was hosted by the seminarians of my diocese and it was about a 1/2 1/2 ratio of seminarians and non-seminarians who got together every week. And for a few years now I have been thinking about the priesthood (most of you probably know from my threads) and I told some of the seminarians there and the word got around to Father (who is also one of the Vocation directors of my diocese) and he told me since I had attended the meetings and showed some degree in interest in the priesthood, I was invited to go.
I simply told Father, “Father, I’ll have to look at my schedule and see what it’s like but I’ll keep in touch with you and let you know.” And we parted ways from there. The girl that I am talking to is in a neighboring state next to mine and THE IRONIC THING IS that the seminary that Father is wanting to visit is in the same state as the girl I am talking to!!! I think this would be a good opportunity to go visit some of my seminarian friends to say the least, but I am in a twisted bind right now over it. I probably have done things I shouldn’t have done and failed to do things that I should have done, so there may be some bad on my part. However, even though things may seem weird between me and the girl I have been talking to, I still like her and am willing to give her another chance because she still talks to me but she just doesn’t seem to be doing very well, not as enthusiastic as she used to be.
But since I have been feeling a drawing to the priesthood over the past 3 years or so, I probably shouldn’t have created a dating profile for myself, although the reason I did is because I am keeping my mind open right now in terms of vocations and still would desire to have a relationship in my life (whether it would eventually lead to marriage or not). I also heard that dating before entering the seminary can actually be a good thing because it can help you to discern if it’s for you or not and can give you extra experience as a prospective priest to help married/dating couples with their conflicts so that’s another reason why feeling interested in priesthood didn’t stop me from dating. I probably also should have talked to a few priests or possibly a vocation director before I did anything that I did but with the crazy schedule that I am on right now it really doesn’t give me time for it (no excuse making intended, I am for real).
I was beginning to wonder what I should do. Should I keep contact with the girl I’ve been talking to or should I let her go? Should I tag along with Father and go visit the seminary or should I not? What should I tell Father in terms of my situation? I’m afraid he may tell me, “Oh well, vocation to priesthood is important and you should tell your girl that it’s over and begin the discernment process.” Okay maybe he won’t do that, but still. And I really don’t want to do that to her and I don’t think God would want me to either. With everything happening all at the same moment and the girl I am talking to and the seminary that I am invited to visit are in the same area as each other, it’s so weird. It’s as if God is trying to work something in my life but I just don’t know what.
I would appreciate it if I could get some feedback on this and I would especially ask generously for everyone’s prayers for me. I could really use them. In turn I will pray for you. Thank you and God bless.