Dear CAF Friends,
I'm getting married in a couple of months. My grandmother (who practically raised me and lives about 4 hours away) and I have not spoken in 2 years. I got divorced, I went grad school (I'm trying to "rise above" my station), and I am with a Roman Catholic. She isn't and never has been proud of me and she has told me so. God bless her, she's lived in the same small (700 people) town her whole life and has a xenophobic streak and her own issues.
I love her dearly. I want so badly to invite her to the wedding. I've forgiven her and completely understand she is the product of her environment, her generation, and her experiences. I have longed to hear kind words from her.
I'm thinking of writing her a letter, just to say I love her and would welcome her with open arms to the wedding. I guess any thoughts and prayers are what I am asking for. This is very difficult. We tried talking again 2 years ago and soon after (about a month) she could not finish a conversation without bringing up something I had done that was wrong. I would try to keep it light, smiling, "Yes. I haven't always done what I should have, but I'm working on changing it" or "I know you're telling me this because you love me and want me to do better."
She has nothing to do with my other children but has always doted on my oldest daughter, and her loyalty to her siblings keeps her at arm's length from her great-grandmother. She and I both want her the wedding but we're both nervous and afraid she'll reject the invitation or she'll come and then things will go south, so to speak. She's a genuinely good-hearted woman, she's just... got issues. I believe she means the best for me. Her GP told her he thought she was bipolar with depression. I'm sure she is. She is elderly (wow! she has and will never seem like it!) and I doubt she at this point would do anything with the information.
Anyway... I am asking God for what to do and the words to do it.
Thanks for listening!!!