Irate at God.

So I’ve been praying forever for God to help us financially. For some window to be opened for me so I can take care of the legion of problems we have. Namely, crushing debt, broken plumbing, a house that is falling apart, and the inability to properly manager our horses.

And so naturally when the ground is frozen solid, one of our horses gets loose and cannot be herded. She is loose, and could get out into traffic and cause loads of problems.

Dad and I talked about building a corral out of some cattle panels I bought. But there is always a “money” issue. Well, now we have to build a better corral, but the ground is frozen. So, I thought about buying a gas-powered post-hold digger with my last 300 dollars, and my dad lectures me about spending. I get mad at him, and here we are. We just have to hope she goes back to her pen. And hope she doesn’t go out into the road.

Dad tells me that my answer to everything is to spend money. Well, guess what? We suck at farming. And it takes money to do these things.

I am so damned tired of this happening every year. Every year. And things get worse and worse, and our money gets less and less.

I give 10% or more of the money I have to God. I help others out. Why can’t God give us a break? Why does my dad have to spend the rest of his life worrying incessantly? Why ?

I wish God would answer me, but He is silent. And I am so mad at Him, I can’t see straight.

This is why I think there is merit in Nietschze’s quote about hope being an evil- it keeps you hanging on. And hanging on. Year after year after decade after life. Why? Why?

I’m tired of this. I’m tired of others having it easy while -for not even one moment- do we get a break. I am mad at God, and you know what really bothers me? That He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care if I’m mad or not. He is God, he’ll do what He wants. I am a mist of vapor to Him.

So again, why hope.

I recommend that you read the article, but if you refuse to read the article, please consider some things derived from the article:
*]Prayer is meant to allow us to grow closer to the Lord
*]When we pray, how are we looking at our God? As an instrument to be used? Or as the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ?
*]Do we lift our hearts to Almighty God, or are we looking to “get what we want”?

The article provides us with a very wise saying from our Lord.

"[sup]9[/sup] Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? [sup]10[/sup] Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? [sup]11[/sup] If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!" NRSV-CE
Matthew 7:9-11

Eduardo, I resent the notion that you think I’m thinking of God as an “instrument” to be used. Or that I’m trying to “get what I want”. I give to others, I pray for enemies, I pray for my friends, I pray and pray and pray.

I am currently saying four novenas. A Rosary novena, and there others. All are for other people, even people that have broken my heart. One is for me, and is actually for my father.

I have thanked God for so many things, simple things, complex things, and I only ask for things we desperately need, where there is nothing I can do by myself to affect change.

I ask you to tell me how that is being selfish?

Jesus did make some pretty specific promises about prayer. He is OUR father, and he supposedly cares for us.

I have done things against my own self interest so others could be happy and so I could be there for others. I care about the welfare of others more than I care about myself. Sometimes to my detriment. I say this not to toot my own horn but to say to you that you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.

I talk to God all the time, He is my father. I don’t just use him when I ‘need’ him. It is easy to fire off a snap judgment of a situation…course if you wanted to you could read through my posts to discover what I’m about. But that might take some effort.

Closest I’ve come to that was when I stayed for a month and a half with my sister in Texas. She had rabbits, a mule, cows, dogs. One time, the mule got out while she was at work, and I went over to try to bring it back to the house. It escaped to go with some horses! It loved to spend time with others like it, seemed to be lonely!

I just finally let it go, because it was just so bent on going. I knew nothing about mules! Later, my sister came home from work, and we were bringing it back, together. It tried to run back with the horses, and my sister tried to reign it in, like a horse, but it actually dragged her. I was thinking, “Let go!” She smashed her face against the ground, was scared the mule would stomp on her.

She cried much of the way home. Ah, the mule was out on the road, and my niece said they saw it on the way back when they were on the bus! Gosh! I think the bus was beeping at it, to try to get it out of there!

I don’t think my sister or her family did very well with all that, either, though I don’t think I ever had the heart to say anything. She worked full time as a nurse. Personally, I thought it was all so hard on everybody, too hard.

I wished they could have had fewer things, had a simpler life, but it’s their life.

Although, she probably looks at my life, wonders why I do what I do! In fact, I’m pretty sure she does!

I haven’t seen your setup, only know it from your description, and I don’t know anything about any of that, can’t even advise except to ask if there’s any possibility you can simplify your life.

Can you? Is there a way to have less, few things to worry about and also go wrong?

“Less is more, and more is less”! :wink:

Although, what would you recommend? Really. How do you think this situation you’re in can be improved? Any ideas?

For right now, if you are impoverished, I’d also ask you to consider “holding off” on tithing until things are going a little better for you. I think God would understand. If it means that you’ll be furious with him, resent this, it’d be better to hold onto that money.

If/when there’s a time when your economy is back and up and running, that you have enough money, then go back to giving to the Church.

I don’t think God meant for people who were feeling desperate about finances were trying to give only later to probably need to ask someone for help!

Also, do you qualify for any kind of assistance? I hope you don’t mind that I’m throwing ideas out, here. I just am concerned, don’t even have the foggiest idea is this would be helpful or not. If anything I said is helpful, use it. If not, let someone else on the forum use it, instead, who needs to hear that.

I’m sorry it’s been so hard on you.

I’ll say a prayer for you.

Hail Mary, Full of Grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blest is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen. :angel1:

Now you can be upset at me as well! My advice…get rid of the horses, sell/rent a house and give 5% instead of 10%, learn how to manage the things that you can’t and repair things on the cheap, if you don’t do so already until you can replace with new when you can afford to do so.

Simple solutions, but they are drastic.

BTW, how many people out there have even less then you and aren’t mad at God? I live in the big city and boy I see it every day!

Why don’t you humbly ask God for other options to your problems?

You are praying for what YOU want…and that may not be what GOD wants…that may be why your prayers arent being answered.

Why not sell the horses and the house and move somewhere cheaper…that would remobve some of the pressure at least

Also if money is tight then check in to see if you and your family are entitled to any welfare monetary assistance…if you are then that extra bit of income could make the world of difference

Well, this is truly a sad situation. I honestly cannot give you an answer to these questions; I can only admire with the Apostle: “O the depth of the wonders and riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How incomprehensible His judgments and inscrutable His ways!” (Rom. 11:33). Now, your opinion that God does not care could not be further from the truth. I can also assure you that without sinning, and it seems that you have not sinned, your suffering is not willed by God. You might wonder God does not end the world right now and alleviate all suffering - which He could do. Again, the reason is inscrutable, but I might say - consider how many souls will be damned if He were to do that.

Consider this for a moment - why did God not immediately cast judgment upon the world when Jacque de Molay, the general of the Knights Templar, who had dedicated his whole life to God, lived a blameless life, was then burned by his own king, simply because the king was indebted to him. If God judged the world then, He would never have the opportunity to know and love you.

Make no mistake about it; those who have suffered will receive their rest, and those who have had it easy, those who show no compassion with those who suffer, will suffer on the Last Day, and for all eternity - “for every valley shall be exalted, and every mountain made low…” (Is. 40:4).

You ask - why hope? Answer: The situation you’re in now is not what it should be, and you recognized this. St. Augustine beautifully said that hope has two beautiful daughters - anger at the way things are (something you don’t lack) and courage to hope for better (something you need some reassurance in).

St. Ignatius of Loyola beautifully said this: “Consider the anger of God in pouring vengeance on the descendants of Adam, represent to yourself all the miseries of men in all ages: plagues, wars, disasters, violent deaths, so many tears shed, so many crimes committed…all the result of one sin. Behold the fruit of sin”. Do not think of this anger as one of a wrathful, unloving God. It is these evils that precisely bring God such grief, and arouse such wrath. We ought to shutter at the punishment the Devil and the reprobate will receive in retribution for these evils.

I don’t have much else to say; I do hope my words are a source of consolation. Do not fall into despair. Plato said “There are two things one should never be angry at: that which you can help, and that which you can’t”. It does not pay to be angry at God. To be angry at the Devil - yes. To be angry at sin - yes.

Know that you’re in my prayers.
Benedicat Deus,

Thank you. Fact is, my dad is getting older and things are getting out of hand. It takes money to run a farm. No one wants to buy these horses, and we have so many more pressing needs. It bubbles up and you just wonder why. What possible lesson could I be taught? Patience? I’ve been patient for 38 years. I am tired. And I’m tired of watching my dad bust his behind at his age. We need help. And the only option is God. But…

Anyway, thank you.

What does one do for a lost horse? Call the police? radio station?

We didn’t actually call anybody with the lost mule. One time, a neighbor saw it, called up.

The fence was a chronic problem. I wondered why my sister even had a mule!

Jesus was poor his whole life. Listen God does care about you and he never puts you through anything you can’t handle. He is with you and he does care about you. Why would he make you otherwise God is not cynical.

Eventually, your father won’t be able to do all this due to his age. I know you are also trying to help, but it doesn’t sound like you’ll be able to do this all alone, right?

So, there needs to be some kind of resolution, to have fewer things that require all that high maintenance.

This just can’t continue, can it? Something’s got to give! I hope it won’t be your sanity! Really, this can’t go on!

There must be some solution, don’t you think?

Have you ever spoken to a counselor on these matters? a banker or finance person? Well, I once had a counselor with 30 years experience, and she knew a lot about everything! My insurance covered the visits, and she helped me figure out what to do.

Sometimes, finance people can also come up with alternatives that one might not normally even think about, or at least I know I wouldn’t.

Why not go to where you do your banking and ask if you can talk finances with someone?

Mike, gee, why didn’t I think of getting rid of the horses? Why didn’t I think of managing my money better? Wow, you’re so brilliant.

Mikey, this may surprise you but no one is in the market for a horse. Our house is under water, and in order to sell it we’d have to have money to fix it.

BTW, how many Catholics like you tell others how to live? How many Catholics like you live to criticize others by “putting things in perspective”? You know what? That argument of yours doesn’t work. Because you don’t know me at all. And you don’t know the crosses I have. You think I have it easy relative to people you know. But frankly, you know NOTHING about me.

BTW, how many Catholics like you lack empathy because you think you have it all figured out? BTW, have you ever really been in a completely desperate situation? If you had, you wouldn’t have said what you just said.

I mean, seriously, do you think I have manure for brains? These “simple” changes I’ve done. It takes more than simple changes to take care of the monumental task ahead of me.

I’m mad at God, and you know what? I’m going to be. Everyone has their own cross. Don’t sit there and dismiss mine. Because you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Skyhigh, my only point in mentioning the 10% was to show people like you that I’m a good guy. And I don’t do it to earn a damned thing.

There is so much misunderstanding about me.


Do you qualify for any kind of assistance?

Hi There,
I so feel your frustration and have been there so many times myself. And I get mad and frustrated at my situation and you know what.? I tell God all about it and sometimes yell about it. Recently, I was in that place and I decided to go to mass and then sit before the Eucharist… just sit, not talking to him or praying. I just sat in His Presence. I was considering some pretty drastic measures out of fear and that frustration. But in that Presence I just gave up. yup. gave up. I just surrendered and said you know what i don’t care anymore about how I think it should work out or happen God. this is way to big for me. So here take it, you deal with it and do what needs to be done. I believe you when you say that you will take care of me. And what I need to let go of, I let go. no matter what it is. Sometimes the answer is no. and that is usually what the silence means. no or wait. for instance. my ex and I have some property together. part of the divorce is that it is to be sold and profits split. the problem is that just as we divorced the real estate market tanked and we lost over 100k in equity. so now we are upside down and to sell it would be a great loss. so it has been 5 years and there it sits. So i have decided after prayers, novenas and candles, and rosaries, that… it is until it isn’t and i am looking at it as God providing for my old age, as i have no children. There were other lessons involved in this property that i learned, too long to go into here, but so grateful. But I couldn’t see them until I got out of my guilt about some things and anger i had at my ex. I will pray for you. waiting does really suck, and no well that is a real aggravation. but it will get better and it may get worse before it does…but IF it does I promise the other side of it is glorious. Blessings my sister.

Ok, you know what? Since according to the ignoramuses that have posted replies to my post, I am:

1)Just praying to get an outcome.
2)Am selfish.
3)Don’t realize how good I actually have it.

This despite the fact that :

1)No one knows me
2)I have given my whole life
3)I’ve been lower and in worst conditions than most of the people on this site.

No one should ever be mad at God. No one should ever be frustrated. And I am misguided.

You see, according to these great Catholics I am the creator of my own misery.

So, I have an easy solution.

I quit. I am done praying. I am done hoping. Then I don’t have to worry about praying in the wrong way for the wrong things. And that way I don’t have to experience the awesome fellowship of fellow Catholics being jerks. I only wish that I was as bright and wise as all you guys. I mean, to come up with a snap assessment and all-knowing solutions in approximately 2 mins is a real blessing. When you sit in the front row at your Church make sure you thank God for Him giving you the blessings of knowing the faults of everyone else.

And when you get in real economic, mental, personal desperation, make sure you post on this site so you can enjoy the same withering attacks I just went through.

You should all really thank God that you have it as easy as you do. But I’m done. I’m alone, on my own and will never post on this laughingstock of a site again.

You really did God’s work on this one, gang. Thanks. Enjoy your lives.

Saying Saint Patrick’s prayer for you and your dad, Norm…

St. Patrick’s Prayer
Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

Norm640 I’ve read some of your other post and know you have the gift of sarcasm so here’s some sarcasm from me to you buddy.

Maybe God is calling you to take vows of chastity and poverty. You could dedicate your life to chasing wild horses - sort of like the anti-Francis. 100 yrs from now they’ll call you St Norm the horse whisperer. If all else fails you should see an exorcist to get rid of your curse. Some times all you can do is laugh (not too much though or they lock you up).

Well, I can see that you’re pissed off. I think I can understand that. I can understand the frustration building up, one thing after another, until it all comes crashing down and the anger goes spilling out every which way.

The truth is, though, everything that happens is God’s will. Someway or another, no matter how crazy it sounds right now, it will make sense.

Quick story of how God’s plans are sometimes incomprehensible:
Several months ago, I considered myself a Traditional Catholic. I had grown up with a great deal of influence from SSPX and SSPV, and as a result I found myself highly judgmental of “modern Catholics”. I thought the Novus Ordo mass was invalid, because that how those societies taught me, and I refused to attend.
One day i was at mass at a SSPX church and I passed out. My dad, who was reluctant to take me there anyways, stopped taking me at all due to that incident. I felt so confused. I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t mean to faint. Why would God allow me to lose consciousness like that when He knew full well that it meant I couldn’t go to mass anymore? It was like He was deliberately putting me in a situation where I couldn’t receive that graces and sacraments of mass, and that is something that simply does not make sense.
A while later, I resumed going to Novus Ordo mass, because I had no choice. It took me only a couple weeks to realize that if I hadn’t passed out in that church, I would still be attending, still carrying on my judgmental ways, and I wouldn’t be nearly as secure in faith as I am today.

Now, I in no way mean to compare your plight to my situation. Mine was a sinful situation, although I didn’t realize it at the time; yours is not (other than the fact that you are mad at God, of course). I am just drawing parallels to show that sometimes the things that God does to us just don’t make any sense at all until much later. The above example is just one - there are so many times that I’ve found myself so confused about the direction life is taking me, only to look back some time later and have it all make sense.

Some way or another, you will have something to gain. Perhaps it’s not even to gain on this earthly life - those who have hardships on earth will of course be thus rewarded in heaven. God will lead your way with grace and truth and justice - all you have to do is trust with all your heart and follow along. Even if the path is rocky and twisted, He loves you with all His heart, and He will always have the most perfect reason for taking that that specific trail. Life is hard, life is confusing, and every once in a while you’ve got to hold on tight and persevere on God’s path.

I think you are despairing of God’s love right now. Please do not do that. God loves us in unimaginable ways. God loved us enough to give us life, to give us earth. God loved us enough to give us grace, to give us faith. God sent His only son down on earth, himself, to suffer and die for us. No matter what happens, no matter what it feels like, God will always love us. You need never worry about that. And because of that, you need never worry that he will not lead you somewhere beautiful in the end.

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