Is a Bachelor's degree essential for a happy marriage?


#21

Get the degree. For your family’s sake, especially your children’s sake. Be a good example to them. Parents who go to college have kids who go to college.

You will NEVER, EVER regret getting an education. Work hard and get it done in two years.

You may think you will never need to get a job, but the odds are that you will someday. It’s getting harder and harder to get a job without a college degree. I disagree entirely with the person who said that your degree doesn’t get the job, you do. That’s simply not true. You won’t even be allowed to submit an application for many jobs without a college degree. My brother is a supervisor in a factory–he doesn’t hire anyone for FACTORY work anymore who doesn’t have at least an Associate’s Degree (starting pay is minimum wage for Associate’s Degree to do FACTORY work).

All men worry about “What will happen to my wife and children if I die?” Your husband is charged in the Scriptures to provide support for you and his children. It will be a great burden off of his mind and heart if he knows that you have a college degree and would be able to support yourself should anything happen to him.

One more thing–what will you do if your children get involved in a sport or some other activity that costs megabucks? I was a stay at home mom for six years while my kids were little. Both of my girls got involved in figure skating when they were tots. It started out cheap, but got more and more expensive until my husband just couldn’t pay for it anymore out of his check.

Some people would have quit then, but our whole family loves skating and we decided that I would go back to work to pay for it. We are GLAD we made this decision! Our girls travelled all over the world for various competitions, and our family has so many wonderful memories from those figure skating years. Both girls got coaching jobs in college that paid well. My older daughter made the same amount of money in college coaching for 4 hours than her friends made in 20 hours of work. My younger daughter currently makes $34.00/hour coaching–not bad for a college kid! And she LOVES coaching and skating and working with kids.

Another thing that might happen is that you will end up putting your kids in a private school. We had to, because our city got messed up with a deseg lawsuit and the federal courts took over and turned our public schools into a “sociology experiment.” My income paid for both skating and school. I was VERY glad we were able to give our girls these opportunities.


#22

No, it is not required, but is always good to have for the future. Many people are happily married and have not gone to college. But if you are wanting to do so now as you are starting out I would say go for it and not have any regrets later.


#23

No. Neither my hubby or I have a college degree and we’re very happily married. We do live modestly and need to be frugal to make our income stretch. I only work one day a week to keep my job open incase we need extra money for emergencies, so I’m pretty much a stay-at-home mom.

College is great, but not essential for a happy marriage.


#24

Sina you were not the only one to say this so don’t think I am picking on you:). Fact of the matter is a BA/BS will not make you a better home school teacher. I don’t have one and I was a very good home school teacher, if I had to learn something before teaching it, I did. By the way nine times out of ten your BA/BS will not be in a field that will help you teach a subject so you will be doing the same thing I did!

Another BTW, I am a volunteer at a Birth Right and we have a program called Earn While You Learn, I am their “expert” on teaching. Our director wants me to do a lesson or workshop for our volunteer councilors on how to use the program to help the girls and women who come to us.

If you go into your marriage OP with the thought that you will constantly be learning then you are far ahead of the game than those who think their BA/BS is the end-all, be-all of life (please note, I am not saying this is what any one here has said but I have met plenty of people like that and it is so very sad).

I will add that if all you need to get your BS/BA is one more year then get it but most people need a minimum of two years after an Associates degree.


#25

I’ve still never heard of an associates degree. Is that an American thing? We don’t have those in Canada…??


#26

No, I think you have to get a Master’s. —KCT


#27

Yes, it’s a degree conferred from a Junior College, also called a Community College. Some are transferrable to go on to a 4 year degree, and some are more like a technical degree that tracks into a particular field that requires a specific training program but not a 4 year degree.


#28

A single income and no bachelor’s degree is perfectly possible and my marriage is a prime and happy example of it. No regrets.


A degree won’t guarantee a job or happiness, married or not. Heck, these days a degree doesn’t even guarantee an educated person.


My view? Go ahead and work towards it. If you get pregnant - great! If you don’t - great!


Marriage is full of changes in plans. No one may tell you this, but it’s so very true. Your dh will change. You will change. Your finances will change. Your tastes will change. Your opinions and dreams will change. All the plannning in the world will not make a marriage as happy as two people willing to grow and change together.


You don’t know you’ll get pregnant, so go for the degree with the understanding that should life happen, your lives will change to accept it with love.


If you do go for the degree, then I very strongly second this advice:

I’ll add another thought. I’ve noticed a trend in baby regrets over the years. For just as many people who say they regret having children young because of all the supposed additional hardships, there’s an equal number of couples with lighter arms who deeply regret postponing having children. Do not take fertility for granted. It’s a limited time offer type of gift.:wink: Everyone thinks they will have that big happy family, but the reality is we are only able to accept these gifts for a limited time. That time is really more limited than most think. E****very time a couple decides they aren’t ready that month, they miss the potential baby that might have been created.


#29

The answer to your question is absolutly not. I see no connection between a degree and happiness. Happiness is a state of mind not an education level. Does your future spouse want you to have a Bachelor’s degree? Is this for him, you, or your parents? Whatever the reason, if a Bachelor’s degree is what you want (and I recommend it), go for it now. It will be alot harder to go back to college than it will be to stay in college. Now is the easiest time. I congratulate you on your choice to be a stay at home Mom, but you will find time for school hard to come by once you have children. Take advantage of this time now to get your degree now and devote your time to the children when they come along. Once you have children, they will come first.


#30

it is a degree or certificate, often in a vocational or business field, usually earned in two years at a community college or junior college. It is the entry level credential for some jobs, such as in various medical technologies, accounting, etc. The credits earned may or may not transfer to a 4-year college or university, depending on the state accreditation of the institution, or the agreement with the colleges.

of course a degree is not essential for a happy marriage. What is essential for a happy marriage is that the spouses plan together, and discuss how their marriage vocation should be helping them both to grow in holiness, how best to serve God, and how they will welcome all gifts that come to them from God, especially children, and how best to take care of their family. If these are not foundational assumptions and priorities, their marriage has little chance for happiness.


#31

OP, I am getting the same static from just about everyone-coworkers, parents, friends and even passersby.

Everyone is telling me to delay the marriage until I have a bachelor’s degree. (Of course when you get specific what they are really saying is delay the baby, but most people I talk to about this are prolife Catholic.)

Reasons:

  1. The transition of being post graduate is horrible and should never be done while married or pregnant.

  2. You’ll be poor if only your husband has a degree/works.

  3. You’ll be unfulfilled/incomplete/have a lower status as a SAHM without a degree.

  4. You’ll regret it for the rest of your life because you’ll either never get a degree or have to go back to school late in life.

And there’s more, lol!

Anyways, all the warning can get to me, despite my desire to marry. I find myself freaking out. But then on the other hand, I am in school with an overload and working 40-60hrs a week. School is not all that. In fact, it takes up the smallest amount of worry and time in my life. Most universities aren’t for learning or actual development. You just have to show up for class and regurgitate.

My fiance will have a degree when we marry and I will have about 2 semesters (summer and fall). I can do that.

So, what’s the answer? Are people just too whiny and weak or am I acting like a naive person about to have a wake-up call?


#32

I think it is essential to be financially secure before having children. However, there are many routes one can pursue this.

You should consider how your degree will help you in achieving your goals in terms of career. What do you want to do? What sort of job would you enjoy doing? A bachelor’s degree is in my view valuable mainly in the sense one can use it to get a higher research degree (M.A., Ph.D.) or you can use it to get into a graduate school such as Medicine or Law.


#33

To the OP: I got my associate’s before marriage. After marriage, DH talked me into trying to complete my BA. We quickly had four children WHILE I was working on my BA. Looking back, it would have been so much easier to have finished my BA before having children. I have never regretted finishing my BA. It has opened many doors for me in my career.
Of course, we ended up with five children and I have never regretted that, either. I was able to be a SAHM to my children (although I went to college parttime) until my youngest was in second grade. I will never regret the decision to stay at home with my babies.
I think you should probably finish your BA and then start a family. It is so hard to go to school and have children, too. And it is only two more years for you. A BA, like I said, opens so many doors for you. Eventually when you do work, you’ll make more money with a BA degree. That is just a fact of life.


#34

It is also the case that unless your degree is of recent vintage, many employers will essentially consider it little more than an out of date or expired licence. Sometimes it can be better to “go back and finsih” at a later date when you’re actually hoping to go out use the accreditation more immediately towards some goal.


#35

They are worrisome and project inferiority complexes. Not that there aren’t good reasons to have a certain degree of concern. But basically they ought to quit crying chicken little and let you live your life. For, essentially, all the “advise” they are offering is merely a projection of their own personal concerns and not truly responsive to where any other individual is in her journey through this world.


#36

The way I see this, if you were to go for your Bachelor’s, it would be an extra $25,000 that you could be spending on your family (and not even on luxury, but for being able to buy a house, pay bills, etc.). If you’re not going to be using the degree then I don’t think it’s necessary. Also, you have an Associates Degree, so you have some form of higher education should anything happen.


#37

My opinion is, well to a point, take in every one’s advice, and do what you feel is prudent, without trying to impress anyone or thinking you have to take any one’s advice.

I guess, what you should actually do, is:

  1. think what type of job would you want, and you think you are suited to do.
  2. Try to figure out what you would need to have in order to get the job(I’m still saying that with you having the intention of being a stay at home mother.)
  3. Try to figure out how your AD will help you.
  4. If you think you might need a BA for a job then
    a) Figure out if it’s best to get it now.
    b) Try to figure out if you can drag it out with kids.
    c) Try to figure out how you can finance it.
    d) Possibly consider online class, convenient, but you needs discipline
  5. Try to figure out if you can network or possibly put some time in volunteering to keep you open for job prospects and not getting more rusty than you need while out of the working field.

I say don’t limit yourself to traditional choices. A good network can do you just as well as a BA. Trying to keep a bit current with trying to maintain skills worth employable is also good. Hang with the mothers who have jobs, they might be your ticket to a job, if you do actually need to get one at some time.


#38

There is your key word and that tells you your answer. No, don’t get the bachelors degree right now. As others have pointed out, if you are out of work for great deal of time your degree will be considered dated and you will need to go back to college anyway. Save the bachelors degree for when you are ready to go to work. That way it will be fresh for the work force. You have already stated that you plan to be a sahm anyway. So if you get the degree now and then don’t go to work until 10 or so years from now your degree will be considered dated and no one will hire you anyway. I’m a sahm and I have not worked in almost 8 years. An awful lot changes in that time period!

That’s my 2 cents anyway. :slight_smile:


#39

THis stuff about a dated degree is being waay overstated. With most folks getting a batchelors now their degree IS ten years old by the time they get into their 30’s and in management positions. I’ve never yet heard any of my colleagues be told their ten year old degree is dated, and I work with folks in a variety of scientific and technical fields. Now…if my mother, who dropped out in 1966 after a couple years of college to raise a family and take a clerical job were to go back, yes, I suppose her courses in Gregg Shorthand wouldn’t count for much, but for folks such as myself who got their bachelors nine years ago…um, not a hindrance at all in my experience.


#40

If you do have the desire, finish your education.

You may not plan on using it because you may want to stay home with the children…but life has an odd way of playing out.

I never thought I would be the sole support of my family, but I am. WE can plan all we want, but life usually has unexpected twists.


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