I am returning to the Church after being apart since childhood. There is a major stumbling block in my way. My husband and I met with the parish priest about it. Though I greatly respect and admire this man, I wasn't comfortable discussing it with him, thus I decided to give up on the idea of returning at all. Not hearing back from the priest on some paperwork I needed, I felt that I had made the right decision to abandon the idea of re-verting.
Giving up made me miserable and I cried for days; prayed too. As I prayed it came to me that I should try and contact the monsignor, who was the priest at our parish many years ago and someone that my husband not only knew but thought very highly of. I contacted the monsignor via email. This was much easier for me because I could pour out my whole story to him without being face to face, so I wasn't going to get all tongue-tied and tearful the way I was when I tried to talk to the priest. The monsignor works in the area of vocations now, but is vicar general. The monsignor replied to my email from his phone, he told me he was on his way to a seminary, but promised to write more later (when he had access to a computer) and promised to help me. He asked me to continue going to Mass and RCIA while we worked on it and I have. That was the last I heard from him.
About a week later I heard from our parish priest and he is (pardon the expression) gung-ho to help me now. Following my heart, I decided to share with the priest what I had told the monsignor, but by writing it out. I'm painfully shy and socially awkward and writing comes easier to me than speaking.
The thing is, I can't understand why I never heard back from the monsignor and why the priest suddenly stepped in to help. Could the monsignor have contacted the priest and told him my story? In his reply to me the monsignor had told me that it was my story to tell or not tell and that he would hold what I told him in strictest confidence. I believe him, but I can't quite understand why things changed. I am growing more and more comfortable with the priest now and I feel that's as it should be, but I can't help but feeling there's something going on behind the scenes.