Is a sin to want to die to end the suffering

I have been threw some very hard trails I have chronic insomnia that leads to so many more issues like depression,anxiety it’s toture not to sleep. I’ve been praying for months for a miracale.I have been prescribed different medication they all have severe side effects. The psychologist said thats there people that’s are sensitive to medication so I prayed and just waited on God the more I wait the worst things seem to get the medication reeked havoc on my body I feel my arm and leg numb .I have a kidney infection and now high blood pressure feel confused sometimes. When I started getting sick it was the insomnia now it so much more I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel my life since childhood has been trail after trail. I’m tired I’m ready to rest my husband is also ill just got a call from the doctor stating his thyroid is out of control he also takes anticonvolsion medication.We have four young children I don’t know what to do what to pray My God why have you forsaken me?

Where is God why is he allowing this?

Only someone who has chronic, lifelong insomnia can understand the hell of this condition. It is not occasional sleeplessness, it is not “take some melatonin and don’t watch TV before bed”, it is torture. You can hallucinate from lack of sleep (been there, done that). I’ve had it since I was a child, in fact I thought my parents and sibs were strange because they slept all night long every night. I’d watch them.

We cannot give medical advice, but, trust me there IS medication that can help. You have to find a doctor who really understands and works with you. I will simply say that the modern medicines for insomnia did not help me, in fact, they kept me MORE awake. It was going back to some very old, generic RXs that has done the trick.

I am praying that you find the right doctor.


I second this. Also, what I try to always remember is:

1 There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every affair under the heavens.
2 A time to give birth, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
3 A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
6 A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
7 A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
8 A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

9 What profit have workers from their toil? 10 I have seen the business that God has given to mortals to be busied about. 11 God has made everything appropriate to its time, but has put the timeless into their hearts so they cannot find out, from beginning to end, the work which God has done. 12 I recognized that there is nothing better than to rejoice and to do well during life. 13 Moreover, that all can eat and drink and enjoy the good of all their toil—this is a gift of God. 14 I recognized that whatever God does will endure forever; there is no adding to it, or taking from it. Thus has God done that he may be revered. 15 What now is has already been; what is to be, already is: God retrieves what has gone by.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-15


Do your family and/or the people at your parish know your family is going through all this? It sounds like in addition to medical help, you could use some general support and help. If I knew you irl, I would help you.

:+1: As a fellow chronic insomniac I second this 100%. Suffering from insomnia is torture. Our bodies need restorative sleep to function and with that sleep things begin to fall apart. Our physical health and mental health depend on sleep.

Please seek a doctor who can help you. In my case it turned out to be a psychiatrist. Got there in a very round about way, through my son’s doctor, but he was the one help me with sleep.

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I have practically every medical sleep condition there is and I see multiple doctors for it. I know what is like to be sleep deprived, so I can empathize with your plight. It sounds to me like you are not getting sufficient medical help. The medical aspects of sleep are not well understood by most of the medical community. I would encourage you to search out better medical care. Your life and health depend on it. I have had to move on from many well meaning doctors who just didn’t have a deep enough understanding.

I am no hypochondriac by any stretch of the imagination. I don’t like doctors and medications, but here is what I have done and still do to get even reasonable sleep. If you are not doing them all, you are not doing everything you can to solve the problem:

  • See a certified sleep doctor. Get him to prescribe you a polysomnogram (an overnight sleep study)
  • See a neurologist.
  • See a sleep certified Cognitive Behavior Therapist.
  • Do what they tell you to do.
  • Take the medications they prescribe. I am on multiple, heavy meds for sleep conditions. They do have side effects, but: 1) They are way better than the alternative, and 2) I find the side effects diminish down to almost nothing after a while. You do have to work with your doctors to try different meds and titrate to the best doses for you.
  • Practice good sleep hygiene. There are plenty of articles online where a person can learn about that.
  • Take time off if you need to in order to get your sleep rhythms in order.
  • Be patient. It won’t happen overnight. (See what I did there? I crack myself up sometimes! You have to have a sense of humor about this or it all just seems too hard.)

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