I feel as if, as per usual, what jas is trying to convey; is the lack of ‘reality’ in abstinence appealing to the masses.
Naturally it doesn’t. And yes maybe it isn’t supposed to. I don’t necessarily share his views that it isn’t realistic but In prior conversation he has agreed infact that Chastity and value in sex IS a noble thing. So there isn’t the big lack of Concorde here that some may assume.
In basic terms;
A man meets a woman. The more his attraction to her is genuine - the more difficult his animal nature and emotions find it to resist intimacy with her. That’s perfectly natural and reasonable.
People also don’t live in a vacuum. They want their partner to stay with them and not leave them for what secular society calls ‘needs’ (sexual) somewhere else. That is real life for millions of people.
This places understandable pressure on the man because he truly loves her. And wants to convey that.
Now I know there are a thousand discussion points at this junction. Let’s not bother with them - many are valid and indeed endless in scope!
The simple truth, is not everyone is a theologian or sage. They have real human emotions, simple (busy) lives and that was the people most important to reach with the truth.
Not those who are already almost at monastery levels of devotion and piety.
So in a sense; he is only trying to offer a realistic account of how people will view the stance from the outside and recoil from the church - further bolstering the ranks of atheism.
I understood him well. And I’m sure you all did too.
Sex, should be a part of a committed relationship. I wholeheartedly do NOT believe in meaningless sex, abortion and a whole host of things that trivialise it. On that front I agree with people like Plantinga and even Ben Shapiro.
But I do feel that true love, when you are in the arms of someone who truly shares that - is going to fall into sex. That’s just a gut, human feeling and it happens naturally. A truth of life and experience that’s all. Many, if they are honest - have been there.
I don’t believe that the general layperson should avoid it. I think they should embrace it. Love your partner with all your heart. Just do so wisely and not at the forfeit of consideration to pregnancy/love and otherwise.
Lest you forget; the people of the past had poor contraception methods and a different world. They had good reason to not mess with pregnancy on any level. We can control it, pregnancy, to a point where I believe there is no possible just cause of abortion anymore. There is no need (aside from emergency) to be in that position. We can reasonably prevent it. So much so in the thousands of women I have known not a single person has got pregnant without their intention/ or knowledge. Even those who came to regret it (bad on their part indeed), knew the risk.
Sex is intimacy that should be respected. But to deny it, will see almost the whole earth shun the church or do it behind closed doors. Hopefully you can see some truth in that. Even if you, individually, are brave enough to do otherwise. Chastising people for expressing Love - will always be an impossible sell.