Is anyone interested in helping me daily to quit masturbation and porn completely from my life forever ?

Hi,
My target is to take a firm decision from 23 Jul 2013 - Tuesday and do the confession at St.Antony’s Church to start this difficult journey of complete abstinence until marriage. I’m 23 yrs old. Been masturbating for almost 8 years. I’m done with it. For the past 3 years I’m trying to quit, but I’m failing continuously. Someone, please help me and act as a supporting partner to guide me daily. I’ll log-in and post daily here or send private message to the interested ones. I’ve set a short term goal as 6 months of complete abstinence to restore all my energy that I lost both mentally and physically. I’m always feeling fatigue, no muscle, full of fat etc because of this terrible masturbation and porn. Porn is the main problem. If I watch these lesbian stuffs etc, I start masturbating immediately. I always work in computers as I’m a software programmer and so I’m easily lured to pornography even if I put blocking software, I’m unblocking it and watching porn. So, I need someone to monitor me daily and guide me to get back the control of my life and build a good career and excel in my life as my Mom is a widow and I’m the only son, I should live a responsible and spiritual life and achieve in life. I was brought up in a very spiritual way.

Regards and Thanks in advance.

Applaude your courage and honesty. I would like to offer another resource…where you might find a better venue for getting a brother partner for support and accountability.

The key person is Matt Fradd…he is employed by Catholic Answers…and has his own blog and more importantly a website dedicated to helping men and women attain victory…all in God’s great graces.

Pax Christi

chastity.com/node/493

theporneffect.com/matt-fradd

Hi Ronald,

If you search in this Forum you can find many valuable and insightful advices on fighting masturbation. I want just to leave some tips that have been useful for me in the long battle:

Confession. Confession. Confession.
I am happy that you are ready to confess on Tuesday and you won’t regret it. The only time when I feel like no temptation on world could win over me is after confession and Holy Communion. One tip. When you confess, if possible ask the priest for advice. Priests have celibate life so they can give really outstanding tips on overcoming temptation and living a chaste life. I have found that my confessor tips add a lot more of willpower to face the daily challenges.

No time limits.
I stopped giving myself deadlines. Like one week, one month without. After years of this roller coaster of deadlines I said I decided I am stopping masturbation forever. This deadlines were causing me to actually programming myself to this dates and I would return to sinful habits with more intensity. So, now I am not holding myself until I fulfil my targets. I just quit and barely think about it because it is not just in my mind, hard to explain but I just stopped thinking about it at all, when I accidentally run across one picture on internet or movie I quickly put my thoughts on something else.

Keep yourself busy and healthy. I am also a software engineer, although lately I am more leaned towards researching. However, I know how it feels like to spend all day behind the screen, fixing infinite bugs and with all those sites only one click away. Now, I speak for myself but what happens is that coding or even researching at some time become exhausting and at first frustration I would turn to porn to get some relief. My suggestion is to find something new, that will get you excited. Don’t try to stay empty, replace the evil with the bad. After long periods spending room, this summer I spend a lot of time outside, running, just found last week about geocaching, hiking. If it is possible in your area, you can volunteer, etc. In the end of the day, you will not have had any free time to look at porn and your body will just need rest.

Last but not least, the rosary. Even if you don’t pray (well, I still don’t but I will). I dare you to seek porn with the Holy rosary, blessed by the priest in your desk. It is the perfect shield.

Good luck and feel free to PM and share your achievements

I’m here for ya buddy.

I had that problem for many years. Maybe 12 years. I had this problem before I met my wife, all the time were dating, after we got married, after we had our first child. I finally quit mid-pregnancy with our second child.

I tried to quit for years before I was finally able to do so. Don’t think just because you haven’t been able to quit for 3 years it’s a hopeless cause: you can do it! Here are some things I have to say on the matter:

It is a deep-seated sickness: Face it, you’ve been sick for 8 years. You can’t expect to flip a switch in your body and suddenly quit porn and masturbation. It will take a long time to get over your sickness, perhaps 8 more years.

It is an addiction: I remember how I felt when the opportunity to watch porn arose. It’s a very strong physical and mental reaction. It’s very hard to resist; if it weren’t it wouldn’t take years to quit.

It is not worth it: You know how you feel afterward. Hollow. Ashamed. It poisons your mind and soul. About sixty seconds of physical pleasure… for what?

Find motivation: For me it was my wife and children. You said you’re single, so maybe you can do this for your future wife. Save yourself for her. You also said your mom’s a widow and you’re the only son and she brought you up right. Do it for her too. If people knew they’d be ashamed: don’t give them that opportunity.

Realize you can’t do it alone: This one you’ve already done, but perhaps not completely. I prayed every single morning for God to help me quit masturbation. I ask Him to help stay my hand. I am a weak-willed human. However, somehow I was able to quit and I’ve been clean for what I consider a long time now. That “somehow” was with God’s assistance. God gave you your will: exercise it to resist porn.

It gets easier with time: Now, many months after I stopped, I’m basically never tempted, and on the rare occasion I am tempted it’s easy to resist. The images and videos which I could once recall with ease are almost erased from my memories. It takes months for them to fade, but it does happen.

Count the days: At least in the beginning, count how many days you’ve been porn free. Suppose you’re on day 2. Think: if you were to masturbate now, you’d have thrown 2 days of porn-free life away. We don’t life forever (not here, anyway), so those are 2 days which would be gone forever. This ties in with the “It’s not worth it” above: it’s not worth throwing away those 2 days. Then the longer your winning streak, the harder it is to give it up. This is one of those rare upward cycles.

Keep the long-term goal in mind: There will be times when you’re tempted, and unfortunately probably times when you’ll straight up fail. You should be hard on yourself, but also think of your improvements. If you do end up masturbating after being free for a couple months, don’t think, “Yesterday I was porn-free and now I’m back to the wretch I was.” Look a year back. Back then you were maybe masturbating once a week/day/hour/whatever. Instead pray, apologize to God for failing Him, ask for forgiveness and strength, and realize, “God is making me stronger. I used to masturbate all the time and now I resisted it for days/weeks/months/whatever.” At first maybe you can only resist for a few days, then a week, then a month, then a few months, but eventually, at some point, you will have the last time you ever masturbated.

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance: You absolutely have the freedom to watch porn and masturbate. You can do it several times a day to whatever you want. To resist this you have to be vigilant, and not just vigilant most of the time, or even almost all of the time. Every single second. Don’t let your mind wander to it, and don’t let your mouse stray to your search bar and your hands type dirty things. If you start to falter, think the words “eternal vigilance.”

Remember it’s like a poison that slowly seeps out of your body. Give it up and slowly, day by day, you’ll get better. Every day you’re clean, thank God for the strength He gives you and ask for more strength.

I’ll keep your in my prayers.

I am willing to help you as often as possible, if you wish to communicate.

I will too. You can pm me if you want. Just keep yourself busy. Idleness is the tool of the devil and he strikes when you’re vulnerable and lazy. Work out. That keeps you in shape, occupies you, and you can offer it up for time off in purgatory. Pray constantly. Ora et labora. Pray and work. Stay strong friend. You can overcome this with God’s help

Search this program’s website to help you and for accountability.

May you find the graces to escape the traps you have suffered.

from their website: reclaimsexualhealth.com/

RECLAiM Sexual Health offers an anonymous, science-based, Catholic online program, and provides resources for those who desire to reclaim God’s plan for their lives, and the lives of loved ones impacted by pornography or other unhealthy sexual behaviors.

It’s time to RECLAiM God’s original plan for your life!

reclaimsexualhealth.com/Education-Resources/help-for-individuals.html

RECLAiM Online Recovery Program

Get the help you need while keeping your privacy and anonymity.

reclaimsexualhealth.com/Reclaim-Online-Program/features.html
RECLAiM is Online and Available 24/7

from Reclaim website:

reclaimsexualhealth.com/Reclaim-Online-Program/features.html#tracking

Tracking Success & Receiving Feedback:

Your Daily Tracking Calendar -This incredibly valuable tool helps you identify patterns and trends in your daily life, making it easier to consistently progress forward.

Crisis & Setbacks

At times, your cravings and urges to act out your unwanted sexual behaviors can be so strong they’re like a wave crashing over you. This state of mind is called a “crisis.” In the RECLAiM program, you can immediately access your online “Crisis Tools” to get through “the wave.”

There will be situations where you give in to your cravings and experience what we call a “temporary setback.” When this happens, you simply open your “Setback Tools” page and follow the simple steps. Self-flogging, self-loathing and despair are a waste of time. You will learn how to immediately pick yourself up, assess what went wrong, make adjustments and instantly begin progressing forward again.

Tuesday is my birthday! So I will be praying for you. God bless.

You will be in my weekly intentions, and I will also be willing to offer whatever advice I can give.

reddit.com/r/nofap This really helped me :slight_smile:

Hi Cartesian,
Thanks for your reply. I agree with both of your solutions. Confession and No time limits. I always do confession when I get into such problems. But once thing I’ve realized now is the time limit. I’ve understood that this one keeps me continuously think about masturbation and porn that puts more pressure to get into the same problem once the deadline is reached. I’m gonna stop this one immediately. I’ll put an end to it forever. As per your mention, I know about the power of rosary and I’ve personally experienced its power in my life before falling into this habit. Its true that once can get whatever he/she asks for by praying the rosary faithfully. I’ll be in touch with you and update the status about by journey towards recovery of physical and mental health. I’ll try to stay focus on the important tasks rather than focusing on this bad habit of porn and masturbation. I’ll send you private message while I feel bad.

Regards

Here is a site that will help.
Be sure and read David’s story as well.

catholicbridge.com/catholic/masturbation.php

For me, masturbation is such an impossible thing to overcome.

I wonder sometimes how people have such ease in totally quiting. This is not my case.

Why would God make this a sin ?

For me to keep away from this sin is like me balancing a pencil on my nose and someone telling me don’t drop the pencil because if you do its a sin against God and you will be on your way to Hell.

But then again, all humans are condemned because 1 woman ate an apple

I previously stated that I would help, but I’ve found that I am not able to. However, I will be praying for you.

I think for many, perhaps nearly all, there is no ease in quitting. It took me many years and countless attempts. But when you do finally quit, and if your heart is truly in it you’ll succeed, it’s a great accomplishment.

Or you can rationalized it this way: holding on to floating piece of wood after a shipwreck or swimming to the island a few miles away.

the wood will give you instant gratification and possibly a form of shelter/comfort, but to survive in the long run - you have to do the hard thing and swim for that island.

it will be a constant struggle, fighting against the currents, waves - you may even die along the way - but as long as you are striving to reach the island, that’s what is important.

- Dominus vobiscum!

Hi…

Starve the Sumo

honestly, through the senses… through the eyes and ears. check out Matt Fradd. Don’t worry buddy, YOU WILL OVER COME THIS WITH GODS grace!

I will pray for you…

No problem Escopiliatese. These days I’m under control and I’ve got a new job as well. So I will be keeping myself busy and will focus on improving my career hereafter. One thing you need to do for me is, always remember me in your prayers. Stay in touch.

Regards

Thank you all for your wonderful replies. One thing I’ve learned is that I should not keep deadlines as six months or one year to overcome the problem. This one point is helping me a lot. For the past one week I’m under control and I expect it to be the same for my life. I’ve got a new job and I will be keeping myself very busy occupied with software programming and there won’t be enough time available for porn and masturbation. I’m planning to go for a walk/jog to gain all my energy back which was lost in the past 7 years of my life. I hope things will be alright hereafter. I’ll keep you all posted.

Regards

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