hello everyone! i’m a new forum member and i have a question that i’ve been struggling with. My sister will be marrying a Muslim man in a mosque. Would it be a good idea for me to attend? I am Romanian Orthodox and my husband is Roman Catholic. I myself am thinking about becoming Roman Catholic. My sister is also Romanian Orthodox and she’s been baptized but is currently non-practicing. What should i do? I feel that if i attend i am condoning it, but if i don’t attend it might create a larger gap between us and that will close the door on me ever being able to continue to evangelize her in the future.
I don’t think we can answer this question. There are many factors that make up the prudential judgment of whether or not to attend the wedding, reception, or both.
A Christian woman marrying a Muslim man can be very problematic depending upon what country they are in. You say she is not a practicing Christian, but not whether she intends to become Muslim.
All these things and more are factors to weigh when deciding.
The Orthodox Church would not recognize such a marriage as valid. In fact, I believe if she attempts marriage outside the Orthodox Church excommunication results.
Seek guidance from your Orthodox priest,. who can give you the Orthodox perspective on this situation.
If you’ve told her how you feel about her marrying outside the Church, then attending does not necessarily equal condoning.
Again, I urge you to talk to your Orthodox priest, or your husband’s Catholic pastor.
Thank you all for your input. I have expressed to her my opinions and concerns to the marriage. Unfortunately they have been together for 10 years so it’s a little hard to fight this. I like him a lot and he is a great guy. He is a practicing Muslim but he is not radical in any way. He is open minded to Christianity, and as far as she has told me she does not want to convert, but her children will need to be raised Muslim. Her statements and answers to me seem to be a little defensive of the Muslim faith, so I know that she is reeding up about it and is open minded to it, which is what truly worries me. I am having such a difficult time with it and I continue to pray and give her books to reed on Catholicism and Christianity and I continue to keep my concerns known to her. He is a good person and will be a great provider and husband but I think the Christian/Muslim differences are too vast to ever be able to merge them in any way. I will keep praying.
I am considering giving her the book “Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus” by Nabeel Qureshi and “The Case for Jesus” by Brant Pitre. Do any of you have any other recomandations I can consider to share with her? Her big difficulty with Christianity seems to be the trinity and that is what keeps her fully understanding Christianity. I am not sure what would be the best resource that will explain that to her.
ON a side note, she should be very, very, very careful about ever going to a Muslim country with him. She probably would not be able to leave without his permission, and there are a whole lot of other things that most likely she would never think of. I hope she comes back to Christ, but in the meantime, she should be aware of other consequences.
If you asked your question to Pope Francis, how do you think he would answer?
My own thinking is that this is your sister’s choice to marry and you should now support your sister in her decision and wish her the best and have a great time at her wedding.
As a Roman Rite priest, I don’t feel my offering advice to you in this instance is appropriate. As long as you are Orthodox, the maxim in Catholicism which says “Members of the Orthodox Churches are urged to respect the discipline of their own Churches” should apply.
I would urge you to speak to a priest who is Orthodox so that you may be aware of the discipline of your own Church and any implications for you regarding your relationship with your Church in attending the wedding, as seen from the perspective of the hierarchy of Romanian Orthodoxy.
I will add that I will pray that a way is found so that you may be present and thereby always remain a part of your sister’s life and affection. I will also remember your sister and her future husband in my prayers.
So very true.
I don’t see any reason why you should not attend. It is your sister’s choice and if they have been ‘together’ for some years it is far better that they are married. There is nothing in being respectful to his faith that needs compromise your beliefs. Nor, if your sister and her husband are Europeans (EU citizens) is there any danger or risk for her in going to normal stable Moslem counties assuming that they are even planning to !
Name a “normal stable” Muslim country. If you say Dubai or UAE, go to youtube and search on “Dubai women” or “UAE women” and see what pops up. It’s not pretty.
In any case, if she marries a Muslim, the father gets the rights to the children in virtually every Muslim country. If he divorces her, he keeps the children if they are in a Muslim country. Her ability to move around by herself could be severely curtailed. She would quickly find that even the most basic rights she has in the West would be taken away as the wife of a Muslim. Bottom line: she should really, really, think this through.
Turkey and Morocco to name two both of which are visited by many million European tourists (including Moslem) families every year including us !
Same reason the statistics for men avoiding marriage in the west keep growing, sad in either hemisphere only one parent has rights
Turkey is one of the two countries in the world where I have been stoned in the street. The other is Egypt. Charming places.
So is Indonesia and Malaysia. True there may be extremists in those parts but they are mostly stable countries.
Avoid Aceh in Indonesia. It has implemented Sharia law. I have heard stories of people getting caned for eating during Ramadan. Women getting caned for being caught in adultery. For some reason the men are given a free pass. It wouldn’t surprise me if these women were actually raped and then punished for being raped.
Wait, I was talking about stable Muslim countries?
It’s a sin if you commit a venially sinful fault.
Been to both places. Got a little drunk now and then. But never got stoned.