Is Being Gay In Itself A Sin? & I Want to Go To Confession

Hi all, i’m new to the catholic forums, i felt that this was the website to get my concerns out, i’m a gay catholic, & came to this conclusion at 5-6 years old, initially it was just a curiosity; then at about 10-13, it became more serious, I started having sexual dreams/nocturnal emissions etc. For awhile & up till recently, i haven’t had any lustful thoughts about the same sex, except for maybe some months back, when i joined an app called “Grindr” where i was chatting with someone & i did have some fantasies about the person, but since then nothing serious, except for a few involuntary urges from time to time; i do get physically attracted to men, but it’s not too common for me, it depends on who i come across… or even see on T.V, if anything usually i just find a person really cute, that’s all… but there are times when i get very, very attracted to somebody. Anyways i want to know… do you think that being gay in itself is a sin against GOD? or just the act? i plan on going to confession, but i’m nervous abut telling all this to a priest, i know priests aren’t supposed to judge, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better, i’ve done some embarrassing things in my youth due to same sex thoughts & urges. I saw a family friend half naked once as a kid, & was very lustful, we even shared a bed… i’m scared to tell a priest all of this due to judgement or weirdness. Also i want to go to confession, because i don’t feel as close to God as i should be… & i feel clearing up all of this stuff might help in the process.

  1. Being gay is not a sin.

  2. Priests have heard everything, and nothing you tell them will shock them. They will, rather, be impressed at the courage you show in confessing it.

  3. You need to be able to separate passive attraction from active desire. Attraction is not a sin; active desire is a sin.

  4. Expect serious temptation immediately after confession. The devil is real, and the devil ain’t no fool. He’s terrified of your repentance.

  5. Do you want to be free of the shame forever? There is a way. Take heart!

No same sex attraction is not a sin.

It’s my understanding same-sex attraction isn’t sinful but acting out on it would be.

I wish more places had the old fashioned anonymous confession like it was for a long time. Now, with most places being face to face, it makes it more difficult for a lot of people to confess honestly.

If it helps, you could go to a different parish where they don’t know you, if you feel it might help. Mother Angelica used to say that, if necessary to go to another city, say. Or, I wish you could find an understanding priest, not the fire and brimstone brand for this confession.

I think it’s hard enough for you to make it to confess this, that you don’t need someone that won’t be compassionate on top of it.

We are very complex, and I think our sexuality is especially complex. Please try not to beat yourself up about this. We each have our our “Achilles’ heel”, as it were.

We can have all kinds of things happen which play into our sexuality, that we later come to associate with it. As I say, it’s complicated.

We are NOT supposed to judge. God said, specifically, not to, that if we did, by that same yardstick, we, ourselves would be judged. It’s also my understanding probably few of us could handle being judged by our same yardstick, that most of us would fail that test.

Anyway, you are NOT the first person to confess this nor the last. You are NOT the only one experiencing this.

Personally, I think you’re brave to want to tackle this issue.

Anyway, good luck, and God bless you! :thumbsup:

Being gay is not a sin. Only homosexual acts are sinful. Since being a homosexual is not a sin, you would not even have to say you are a homosexual during confession (though you would have to confess any homosexual acts, if any).
see what the “Catechism of the Catholic Church” on say on homosexuality, which says homosexual acts are sinful; and it says that by self-mastery, prayer, and sacramental grace, homosexuals can approach Christian perfection: www.scborromeo.org/ccc/p3s2c2a6.htm#2357

Thank you all for you’re responses:) i plan to go to my local church soon to clear this all up, i just hope they are still doing private confessions, i figured these responses to already be true, but i still wanted to hear other opinions, thank you:)

Just The Act.

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_19861001_homosexual-persons_en.html

Well, since nobody else said it first, I would point out that purposefully dwelling on same-sex sexual fantasies is a sin, or doing anything masturbatory along those lines. But of course it’s also wrong to purposefully sexually fantasize or masturbate along heterosexual lines, so nothing new and different there.

Also, I would note that young people sometimes find themselves attracted to pretty much everything, so don’t take fleeting impulses, or things that happen just once, too seriously. Sometimes it’s just hormones, plus living in a society that is designed to create sexual impulses toward all sorts of things. You don’t have to follow every impulse or buy everything the world tries to sell you.

God bless you and keep you.

Dear Brother in Christ!

God bless you for your desire to do what is pleasing to God! We Catholics need to stand in strong support of Catholic homosexual brothers and sisters who love Christ and want to lead chaste Christian lives! You are attempting to live a heroic life and I praise you for it pray for you and our brothers and sister like you!

Thank you for writing! I am praying for you. I love you, Christ loves you so much!

You will be tempted and challenged much, but remember that at times when you fall that the evil one will want to make you feel lost and hopeless! Dont! Christ is right there for you EVERY time you want to get back up, even if you fall over and over again! He just wants you to be with Him.

God bless you!

Hello brother,

Remember any lustful thoughts, whether it be opposite sex or same sex, are sinful. And if you believe so then I recommend you go to confession as not only will the priest be joyful that someone is asking for forgiveness but God will also be joyful and He is merciful towards all sins.

I pray that you gather enough confidence to approach a priest for confession so that you may also partake in the Holy Eucharist.

I am in the same situation. It seems that everyone who is catholic labels being homosexual as bad when in fact it cannot be controlled. I have talked to a priest about it and it really helped me spiritually. If you need someone to talk to you can contact me. At times it feels like one is alone in these struggles. I know from experience. Talking to someone with the same problem would help me also. My # is 440-373-8745. Text only cause it won’t accept calls.ill give you my real number from there if you want. God Bless!

QUOTE=LittleFoot;12572932]Hi all, i’m new to the catholic forums, i felt that this was the website to get my concerns out, i’m a gay catholic, & came to this conclusion at 5-6 years old, initially it was just a curiosity; then at about 10-13, it became more serious, I started having sexual dreams/nocturnal emissions etc. For awhile & up till recently, i haven’t had any lustful thoughts about the same sex, except for maybe some months back, when i joined an app called “Grindr” where i was chatting with someone & i did have some fantasies about the person, but since then nothing serious, except for a few involuntary urges from time to time; i do get physically attracted to men, but it’s not too common for me, it depends on who i come across… or even see on T.V, if anything usually i just find a person really cute, that’s all… but there are times when i get very, very attracted to somebody. Anyways i want to know… do you think that being gay in itself is a sin against GOD? or just the act? i plan on going to confession, but i’m nervous abut telling all this to a priest, i know priests aren’t supposed to judge, but it still doesn’t make me feel any better, i’ve done some embarrassing things in my youth due to same sex thoughts & urges. I saw a family friend half naked once as a kid, & was very lustful, we even shared a bed… i’m scared to tell a priest all of this due to judgement or weirdness. Also i want to go to confession, because i don’t feel as close to God as i should be… & i feel clearing up all of this stuff might help in the process.

Daydreams or thoughts of an erotic nature are often sinful, but having an attraction towards people of the the same sex alone isn’t a sin by itself.

Do not worry about the priest. Just as with talking with somebody honestly will relieve shame, and guilt, talking with a priest who doesn’t know you or sees you might be the best choice you can make, emotionally and spiritually.

It will seem hard in the beginning to do a confession, but afterwards you will wonder why you made a storm out of tea cup. Trust me, I’ve been there.

I used to have SSA but not anymore. Jesus Christ is great.

I find that hard to believe. Face to face Confession is an option. No parish Church can insist on face to face.

I do know Pope John Paul has said pretty much the same thing as others have said in this thread.I also heard in bits and pieces of a news story that Pope Francis has taken a more liberal view on this topic that you might want to check.Trust me there is no weirdness in your situation at all

It might be a unique thing in Mexico or the area where you live. In U.S.A confession hours are mostly (if not always) anonymous in the confessional booth. Not face to face.

A couple of weeks ago I went to confession at the local Latin rite cathedral. It is very old, and has 6 or 8 confessionals. It was great seeing so many people in line. There were probably 25-30 people.
When it was my turn, I went in expecting to see a screen, but instead there was a glass window / partition. It was like going face to face except we were sitting in a confessional and there was glass between us.

I go face to face at my Maronite parish so I don’t have any trouble going to confession that way, but I expected a screen since it was an “old fashioned” looking confessional with doors. On the other hand, I didn’t see the insides of the other confessionals so, maybe some of them have screens.

If I was someone who needed a screen, I would’ve been surprised (maybe upset) to see glass instead of a screen given the look of the confessional from the outside.

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