Fifty years ago when I was about 20 years old I was sent to a psychiatrist who used to tell me not to feel guilty about it every time I was not meeting expectations I had for myself. It is my understanding that was done with everybody who saw a psychiatrist back then and I was not diagnosed with a problem in that regard.
Keeping me ashamed of my limitations and doubting myself and worried I was not good enough was part of my up bringing and I have been told it’s purpose was to keep me humble so I could be controlled. Because of this my being sent to a psychiatrist caused the kinds of folks who go in for doing that to people to believe in getting worse about it.
I was told that such shaming does not cause mental illness because mental illness is something a person is born with.
The shaming I experienced was an exaggeration in one direction and the non directive therapy seemed to be an exaggeration in the opposite direction. My understanding of the non directive therapy was they were just getting me to think about the problem but not allowed to tell me what to think.
I did not have in my life anyone willing to take responsibility for giving me honest unbiased direction about the matter. Efforts to get that kind of direction from those who knew I was in psychotherapy seemed to result in the bias that being “too good” was a symptom of my mental illness. It was not.
This resulted in everbody around me making a point of not being “too good” because they were scared of being accused of the same problem.
The last therapist I saw told me that he was trained not to say anything when patients reported they were being shamed they were “too good.” His reasons made a lot of sense. The shaming was something being done to control me and if my psychiatrists disputed anything the folks who believed in keeping me ashamed of myself, either for being “too good” or not good enough, I would find myself under pressure to stop seeing that stupid psychiatrist.
It is my understanding that being “too good” is not crazy. It does not cause mental illness and is not a symptom of mental illness. While shaming may not cause problems, I was diagnosed to not have enough support in my life. I think that include not having support that I know what is being too good and what is not being good enough.
I do now and it makes me feel a lot better. It is like the cure for what ailed me for a lot of years.