Is divorce inevitable here?

When your spouse has been emotionally detached for over a year and signals of infidelity: new email address, away from the house without explanation, will not join in counselling, and only confrontational communication if at all. Though she mentions divorce often when riled (stepping on eggs) I cannot get a make it work discussion with her. We have 2 boys early teen and youth who are suffering. I pray for a miracle but the siege continues, what should I do?

Dear friend,

I can’t really say if divorce is inevitable in your situation. It’s certainly possible. But so is healing and reconciliation. With God all things are possible.

In His infinite wisdom, God gives us the freedom to choose to love and the freedom to choose not to love. It can result in great sin, but also great love. In the meantime, there can be considerable suffering. When the suffering is the result of not loving, there is ugliness and despair. When the suffering is the result of love, there is a certain sweetness because there is hope.

Make sure that you daily attitude reflects your choice to love and only good will come of it. You have that freedom. Keep your focus on the crucifix and all the the Lord was willing to suffer for us. He is you model and your goal. Whatever suffering may come, it will be worth it if you put Him first. The more loving a person you are, the better it will be for your marriage and family as well as yourself. The Lord can do great things for hearts that are loving and not resentful. I am asking all who read this to pray for your family. I will pray also.

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.

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