Is fantasizing a sin (can it be innocent?)


#1

Hi, so I kept looking and looking, and I can’t seem to find the answer to this question. When I say fantasizing I DON’T mean sexual or anything… I mean =^-^= um… more like… for instance a crush and you might fantasize about them kissing you or cough trying to kiss you, and how you would react in said situation…
Never been kissed, and never dated… the thought of kissing somebody makes me feel … embarrassed, and the way I would probably react makes me want to laugh, because I pretty sure I would close my eyes tightly and just hug the guy.


#2

I don’t think what you are talking about is sinful at all. I think everyone in the world has thought about that at least once in their life. You are using your imagination to prepare you for what you might do in a situation (which is fantacizing). God gave us an imagination to use for creative things. Now, if you were taking it to a more serious level, or about something hurtful to someone, then that might be a different story.

God is a very understanding and compassionate God. He knows what is in your heart.

Don’t worry, dear, you are just a normal girl thinking about normal things.


#3

I also do not think it’s sinful in itself; but be careful, it could easily lead to sin.


#4

Good answers above.
The basic guide would be that, if the object is sinful then the fantasy is.
If the object is not sinful then the fantasy is not.

Peace
James


#5

Marital lovemaking is not sinful, but if I fantasized that I was married to Kate Upton and having sex with her, that would definitely be sinful. Just sayin.


#6

hhmmmmm…:hmmm:…Good point…

But of course coveting IS sinful - so perhaps my general rule might still apply…

For myself, since I’m already married - fantasizing about being married to someone else would be sinful…

Have to think about this a bit more. :whacky: I guess “general rules” don’t necessarily apply to every situation…

Peace
James


#7

They practically never do, as demonstrated in our courts. My thought is that it is always up to God anyway. However, if I think it might be sinful, then I would ask a priest, and if instructed, I would repent and ask for forgiveness.

I also think we are making it a bit more complicated for this girl than it needs to be. Day-dreaming about kissing someone she likes is not a sin. It’s a normal emotional reaction to normal human behavior. My goodness, if we thought that thinking about kissing someone we like as a sin, then the human race would have died out long ago.

In my book, it is okay if a single person imagines kissing someone he/she likes.

:love:


#8

Also, you are very young. As you get older and more mature, kissing someone you have fond feelings for will not feel so odd. Don’t be embarrassed about the way you think you would act in such a situation. Everyone has had a first kiss, and most everyone was a little shy about it; after all, it is something new and strange and the emotions/feelings are very high.

Don’t worry, you will feel differently when the time comes. And I’ll bet you leave with a smile and happiness in your heart.

My prayers are with you, my dear, and just be patient. The time will come when you are ready.

:kiss4you:


#9

Oh, I agree that kissing is not something to worry about, in terms of fantasy.


#10

Thanks guys ~^-^~
When I told my friends they went, “Awww!” and though my heart likes that reaction it makes my mind scream, “Don’t encourage this behavior!”

I’m struggling to put things in God’s hands, especially with crushes and all that… crushes usually come on strong… so it gets you thinking that you CANNOT be w/ anyone else… and then once you get out of the crush… you realize how dumb you were… (at least that’s what I realized) but … the guy I like … (I don’t even KNOW how I got this crush) is catholic… and he’s nice haha … I’ve never talked to him… and yeah if I did date someone I would want to be friends with them first… that being said… he’s seems chill… and patient which I recently realized I NEED someone who’s patient… REALLY patient… and can stand my frequent and strange and contradictory mood swings… yeah sometimes doing other stuff pops into my mind (like a temptation) but … if you think I get flustered :blush: just THINKING about a kiss… you can just imagine what might happen if I thought about anything else I go :eek: I think a kiss on the forehead would be the best… Though I’d probably mutter something under my breathe because… physical affection… makes me feel awkward and weird. Also I’m pretty sure if I tried to mention this to my priest it wouldn’t come out… because I’d feel too awkward… :banghead: But I’m still in high school… and high school relationships don’t last most of the time… yet usually I’m too nervous to get to know my crush :imsorry::imsorry::imsorry: Inferiority complex I guess… :sad_yes: like I said patience is a struggle for me… and it’s one of those feelings where I want to take things into my own hands because I feel like I know best… :frowning: So please pray for me… and wait for the right guy in god’s timing…


#11

:hug3:

D’aww! This is the cutest wall of text I’ve seen in a long time. :stuck_out_tongue:

Do you want to join the teen group on this website? We have a thread going about dating people right now, and most of us seem to be roughly where you are right now- confused and embarrassed about our feelings. But we’re trying to sort it all out. I think you’d have fun! :smiley:

I’m sure God has something wonderful planned for you. Keep up the good work. :hug1:


#12

There is nothing wrong with thinking about anything. It is your actions that are sins. Besides kissing someone is not a sin.


#13

Lust is a sin that we commit by thinking. It’s very possible to sin with our thoughts.

However, what the OP describes isn’t a sin. :slight_smile:


#14

This advice is dangerous.

As already mentioned, Jesus tells us that if we lust after another, we’ve already committed adultery “in our thoughts”.

Thinking IS an action. Therefore we CAN sin in our thoughts.

The important thing is to recognize the difference between a random or unconscious thought - which comes unbidden - and a conscious one such as the OP speaks of…a fantasy.

We cannot control thoughts that pop into our head any more than we control our physical reaction to certain stimuli. however, we CAN control our conscious thoughts just as we can control our physical actions.

A random sinful “reactive” thought, unwanted and not encouraged, is not a sin but if a sinful thought is encouraged, sought after, retained, played with, “fantasized about”…this is an act of the will and would be a sin.

Peace
James


#15

I know how you feel and I have the same kind of problem as you. But as far as I know, no, it’s not a sin at all. The type of fantasy you’ve described is harmless and okay. But it’s when you sneak sexual themes into them that it becomes a problem.

Hope this helped!


#16

As for my fantasizing, I often wonder what it would had been like had I become a Carthusian Monk.


#17

No kissing then, Robert.


#18

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