Is God calling me to the single life or religious life?


#1

Hello Everyone,

This is my first post. I've only been a strong practicing catholic for 3 years, although I was born and raised catholic. I believe God may be calling me to either the single life or religious life. I'm a 33 year old male who has never had a true girlfriend. One relationship did last a month, but come to find out, this girl was still in love with her ex and was using me to get over him. And the past few attempts at meeting a girl and trying to date her seems like God has put a roadblock between them. It always ends up never working out, and it's not because I didn't do my part of building a connection, but for some unforeseen reason, it just doesn't work out.

For example, this girl I tried to date, our phone conversation got disconnected 3 times consecutively, and after I tried to call her back, she didn't return the call (she was probably frustrated). This girl is catholic by the way.

This other girl I met at a catholic young adult event, we exchanged numbers after conversing for awhile, I then invited her to a group that I attend, and we had a great conversation there, she hugged me and invited me to go hiking with her. I called her 4 days later and she never returned my call, I even followed up wit her.

This other girl I have known for 3 years, we were just acquaintances, only really facebook friends, I was at an event she invited me to, and I tried to connect with her, and I ended up getting laryngitis, so I wasn't able to connect with her.

Just recently, a girl who I was attempting to connect with, it turns out that she is moving to Missouri in a week, so not enough time to build a connection.

There are more examples than this, but these are all catholic girls, and it seems that God is always sabotaging me attempts to meet and connect with women.

I do love God so much, and I could see myself serving him and giving him my life fully, but at the same time, I have natural sexual desires and a need to be with a woman. I haven't really thought about having children, because I first need to have a girlfriend before I can even think about that.

I don't feel of this world, like money, power etc, worldly things don't appeal to me. I feel like an outsider from the world. I feel detached from the world. Movies that I used to love, I feel like I don't even want to watch them!!! This American culture disgusts me, with all of the bad music and movies(I'm generalizing her). I have such a strong sense of conscientiousness, where I know right from wrong, and I view the world through a catholic prism. The past few weeks, I have been crying my eyes out a few times because I love God so much and I was thanking him for everything he has done for me.

Do you believe I have a religious vocation, or I'm just called to be single?


#2

You might have a religious vocation. Talk with your priest. He'll be able to give better advice than we can.


#3

I personally believe that it would be a very rare calling to be single. Religious, priesthood, married life: those are the three common callings.


#4

I think you should be careful not to misinterpret your history here…

…and not mistake the fact that just because you’ve had disappointing or few romantic involvements–which is true for a lot of people, no matter what culture or religion or age --that it means you are meant for a religious or single life.

For you to feel that “God is always sabotaging my attempts to meet and connect with women” sounds to me like…incorrect, negative thinking.
It just might be you are a shy guy who has not met the right girl yet, or you are a late bloomer when it comes to romance. Or you may be very selective and discerning when it comes to picking a girlfriend, and that’s a good thing.
That’s all.
This is true for many, many, many people.

Not that you mean to do this, but you want to make sure you would not be entering a religious life just because relationships have not worked out so far…or as an “escape” from the world.
A* lot* of people feel dissatisfied with the world around them–that has been true always. These feelings are what have always motivated people to try and change the world for the better.

Also, a lot of people feel close to their religion and love God and see the world through that prism…and have a strong feeling about what is right and what is wrong.
But these things on their own don’t necessarily mean you are “called” to become a priest or a monk or…(what else would be considered a “religious vocation”?)

I only say all this because…in your post, you seem to talk more about what you are upset about in your life (no girlfriend) and in the world around you (“bad music and movies…culture”)…instead of a positive focus on why a religious vocation feels good and right and true for you.
So again, you want to make sure you wouldn’t be choosing a religious life mainly because you haven’t had success yet in finding the right woman for you. You don’t want to pick it as a “default”.

If you do strongly think you are being called to a religious vocation, then you should explore that.
But…it seems that if you are asking people here if you are called to it, that you don’t feel strongly enough about it. Not yet, anyway.
It’s a gigantic life decision…and to make it, one should feel completely drawn to it, committed to it, and feel for sure that it’s for them.
I’m sure any priest would tell you this.

Good luck to you!

.


#5

Talk to your priest. It is very beneficial. I had my first meeting with my priest today. It was extremely private. My parents don’t know about it. That was hurdle #1, talking with my priest, hurdle number #2, telling my parents I want to become a priest/religious brother/religious priest. I was so nervous to the point where my stomach was so turned upside down and my head was in so much pain. I am so relieved now after discussing things with my priest. My headache is just starting to fade. Pray about it. God will take care of you.


#6

If your desire for a woman is strong then it sounds like you are called to marriage. Like others said talk to your priest, pray and give it time.
Those women were not for you, your wife is still out there so pray to God to bring her to you.

And, please don't give up just because someone doesn't call you back, if you feel a strong connection with any of them, give it time, pray and contact her again. She may just not have been ready for you at that time in her life relationship wise,

I'm deserning religious life and one thing I've read is that just because past relationships don't work out, that does not mean you necessarily have a religious vocation. Please don't go entering a seminary just yet. Please give it time, trust God, pray and he will bring you a spouse if that is your vocation when the time is right or lead you to your vocation.


#7

[quote="DaddyGirl, post:4, topic:336063"]
I think you should be careful not to misinterpret your history here...

...and not mistake the fact that just because you've had disappointing or few romantic involvements--which is true for a lot of people, no matter what culture or religion or age --that it means you are meant for a religious or single life.

For you to feel that "God is always sabotaging my attempts to meet and connect with women" sounds to me like...incorrect, negative thinking.
It just might be you are a shy guy who has not met the right girl yet, or you are a late bloomer when it comes to romance. Or you may be very selective and discerning when it comes to picking a girlfriend, and that's a good thing.
That's all.
This is true for many, many, many people.

Not that you mean to do this, but you want to make sure you would not be entering a religious life just because relationships have not worked out so far...or as an "escape" from the world.
A* lot* of people feel dissatisfied with the world around them--that has been true always. These feelings are what have always motivated people to try and change the world for the better.

Also, a lot of people feel close to their religion and love God and see the world through that prism...and have a strong feeling about what is right and what is wrong.
But these things on their own don't necessarily mean you are "called" to become a priest or a monk or...(what else would be considered a "religious vocation"?)

I only say all this because...in your post, you seem to talk more about what you are upset about in your life (no girlfriend) and in the world around you ("bad music and movies...culture")...instead of a positive focus on why a religious vocation feels good and right and true for you.
So again, you want to make sure you wouldn't be choosing a religious life mainly because you haven't had success yet in finding the right woman for you. You don't want to pick it as a "default".

If you do strongly think you are being called to a religious vocation, then you should explore that.
But...it seems that if you are asking people here if you are called to it, that you don't feel strongly enough about it. Not yet, anyway.
It's a gigantic life decision...and to make it, one should feel completely drawn to it, committed to it, and feel for sure that it's for them.
I'm sure any priest would tell you this.

Good luck to you!

.

[/quote]

Hello, I think you misconstrued my post. I wasn't citing all of those examples of failed opportunities with women because I am mad, upset, or disappointed with myself or God or anyone for that matter, I was simply stating that maybe all of the failed attempts are God's way of saying to me that I'm not being called to marriage, either at this time or permanently.

By the way, I have spoken to my vocations director of my diocese, he insisted I had a religious vocation, even after me challenging him. I do love God, with all my heart, mind and soul. I do serve at mass as an altar server every Sunday. I think I do need to discern more though as I am going back to school for a field I thought I was definitely called for, but time will tell.


#8

Sounds great!

Your use of the word “sabotage” is probably what threw me off re the God part. I didn’t think you were mad or upset…but you did sound disappointed.
Just didn’t want you to give up because you were experiencing all the very common relationship challenges that many people do. Wanted you to know that all that is pretty normal and usual.

Good luck!


#9

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