So as of right now I’m in the early stages of dating a wonderful young woman, but things in my life continue to go south. I’m currently teaching but I have not been renewed next year due to budget issues. I’ve applied to other jobs but have only had one interview and I’m sure I didn’t get the job. I am going back to get my masters in special education but i’m worried that i’ll just keep struggling. it took me two years to get a full time job with my bachelors and I’m worried it will take just as long with my masters because for some reason people don’t want to hire me. The only jobs I seem to be able to get are low wage jobs (I got offered one as a grocery store manager but i’d only make 25000 which wouldn’t be enough to support a family even where I live) and I worry i’ll just be some low status male the rest of my life.
My question is, is God using this to tell me i’m not called to marriage, at least not right now? This is the first girl I’ve dated and felt that would be a great match for me, but if I can’t provide for her it won’t work. I feel like I should just give up on trying to find a spouse and just work on getting out of debt (which is 55000 between my car and my student loans:() which will take forever.
I also just feel like maybe i’m not meant for marriage simply because i’m a tad bit different. I don’t have a lot of friends and my only real close relationships besides this woman are my family and they all have issues too (mom is about to retire, brother has autism, sister has severe depression) which means maybe I should just take care of them. I really just am so unsure of my life and worry i’ll just be some poor ugly slob who’s best opportunity is working at some low end grocery store job. I almost don’t even want to get my masters because its more money down the toilet. So is this God’s way of saying that marriage is out of the picture for me? Especially since I don’t really want to have kids past 40 since birth defects occur with old fathers and mothers