Is he the one?

I am confused. I am one of those women who never thought of marriage or having kids. Two months ago I went to the priest to help me with some issues I am having and as the priest was listening to the Lord’s voice, the Lord asked me, “Why are you not praying for your husband?” I was taken aback coz quite frankly I always skip that topic in my prayers.

There was this guy I had been seeing and we had agreed on everything - no kids, our married life, date of wedding etc etc. Surprise surprise, when I started praying/claiming the verses I had been given by the priest, this man disappeared from my life. What was surprising was that he seemed more into me & eager to get married than the other way round. If you had told me he’d “run away” I’d have laughed in your face. Basically even my casual male friends who had a thing for me suddenly appeared not interested.

However, there was this guy I had met earlier and I had believed he was the one tho he never seemed interested in me but would confide in me and he always claimed he felt at ease & peace with me. Even our meeting was like that of Tobias and Sarah. Looking back I strongly believe St.Raphael guided him to me. We resumed communication as if nothing had happen - I had cut him out of my life after meeting the other guy. The funniest thing is that this guy had never thought of a relationship let alone marriage. Then when we started communicating his first words were, “I think I need a gf” I was shocked beyond words.

This is where I need your help guys. As stated earlier, I never thought of marriage or kids but when I think of this guy, I see myself married to him with KIDS. It warms my heart so much and makes it skip with joy. I smile when talking to him and worry alot about him. I started praying the chaplet of St.Michael and I remember saying (knowing my stance for not wanting kids], “If I have a son, I will name him Michael” then a vision of this guy with a happy kid flashed before my eyes. I somehow started praying for him and have dedicated him to St. Raphael to heal this guy’s body and mind & bring him back to Christ and the church [he is a Catholic who doesnt go to church nor believe]. Could he be the one? Or maybe I really want him to be one?

Confused lady :o

Instead of asking “is he the one?” you should be asking “will a relationship and marriage with him please God?”

I am one who belives that what you feel in your heart is the right thing. If you feel like he is the one, then he probably is.

However, you do have to ask yourself whether you’re actually in love or have a fleeting crush on him. Crushes can be very powerful and can feel like love. I’ve had many. Especially one with a close friend of mine - let’s call her Elizabeth.

I was madly ‘in love’ with Elizabeth for over 2 years. I thought about her all the time, and imagined myself married to her with loads of kids. And, believe me, I wanted her with me all the time and was so attached to her that she felt the need to ask me to ‘give her space’ on more than one occasion. If you had asked me about Elizabeth until about July 2011, I would have said the was ‘the one’, no doubt.

If I think about her now I only see her as a friend. I’m not attracted to her anymore.

The point I wanted to make is this: be careful! Love is not a burning passion. It is much more. And it does not end with time. I suggest you wait a while before taking any decision that you might regret in the long run.

Peace be with you. I am praying for you


take it by day day and let this adventure unfold naturally.
Try not to preguess or may lead to unhappiness.
Simply live each day with this person and rejoice in where it may lead you come what may


Thanks for your reply. Initially when I met him I realised I had a crush on him and after realising he aint interested in a relationship, I decided to move on and met the other dude. That was a year+ ago. I knew and always prayed for the other guy as THE ONE and even had plans to introduce you back in church - again another lost Catholic soul - before we got married. I used to mention him to priests and my spiritual director who told me to pray. But when I went to see the said priest, I told him about him and he just told me within time I will have my answer - he “ran away” and this first guy reappeared in my life. And no am in no hurry of getting married, but this is weighing heavily on my mind and heart so much.

Quite frankly if I could I wouldn’t get married and just stay a single celibate life but my parents and priests have different views. However like I said, I feel very different with this guy i.e. getting married and kids.

A word to the wise…be careful what you wish for, you just might get it! :wink:

Mike :slight_smile:

i used to be like you,although i had boyfriends,whenever it started to get serious i would literally run far away. But late last year,i started to feel like it might be really nice to settle down. So i cleaned my self up,got my act together, and started praying, St Raphael, asking for our Lady’s intercession. Sometime last month,i was thinking, okay whatever, if i don’t meet the one, then am not meant to get married. Then one sunday evening, i went for a cell prayer meeting,eyes closed praying (i was also prayin for a life partner), then i felt like i should really open my eyes,i actually shook my head and continued praying, then my rosary fell from my hand,i opened my eyes and there he was kneeling beside me. I was scared, and i couldn’t concentrate anymore,my prayer changed,i told our Lady, i dont want him, he’s going to break my heart. I had been attending that cell meeting for almost a month prior to when he showed up there. Anyway, we became friends and he was what i had always prayed for, and he was looking for a spouse too. It looked like all was perfect. I could actually see myself settling down with him. Then i started seeing the former me in him. Classic player moves, all the things i used to do before, whenever i got tired of a guy, and wanted to be free. This person, who i thought was the one, whom i believed Our Lady had personally shown to me,was suddenly acting off. It hurt real bad,because i had opened myself completely for the first time. I’ve distanced myself from him. I stopped praying for a partner.

Anyway, just be careful you aren’t projecting your idea of the one’, onto him, take your time and allow it to progress naturally.

I’ll keep you in my prayers.
God bless!

Ultimately, I think you ought to take things slowly and discern carefully. Ask God to give you patience and to lead you on the right path. It never fails.

I hope my suggestions have been useful with regard to your current situation and I pray that you may find peace and that you make the right decision.

Just give it time and keep praying.

God bless you

He could be the One, but you won’t know until you get to know him better. Time to go out for pizza and movie and talk, talk, talk! :popcorn:

LOL…yes we did that initially to the point we were all talked out. We blended and gelled so well and we still do. Think I will take a chill pill and adopt a wait-n-see tactics to see how it plays out. Thanks and God bless.

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