Is it a 1yr or a 5yr wait to have a wedding in the church after a courthouse wedding?


#1

Practicing catholic 27yrs olds have become pregnant and a 6 month wait makes it 9 mos due date. Wanting to marry now at courhouse but will the church require a 1 yr or 5yr wait to have a ctholic wedding after the judge weds them?Does this differ by area or is it a standard rule now?


#2

[quote="rosietop, post:1, topic:315018"]
Practicing catholic 27yrs olds have become pregnant and a 6 month wait makes it 9 mos due date. Wanting to marry now at courhouse but will the church require a 1 yr or 5yr wait to have a ctholic wedding after the judge weds them?Does this differ by area or is it a standard rule now?

[/quote]

It's best to contact your parish priest on this matter.


#3

[quote="onjac, post:2, topic:315018"]
It's best to contact your parish priest on this matter.

[/quote]

Well, I hope that someone may know the answer because why would a person have to wait at all?
If a person is already expecting a child and the couple wants to wed why can't a priest simply perform the wedding, why would folks need to go to the courthouse to begin with?
:confused:


#4

[quote="rosietop, post:1, topic:315018"]
Practicing catholic 27yrs olds have become pregnant and a 6 month wait makes it 9 mos due date. Wanting to marry now at courhouse but will the church require a 1 yr or 5yr wait to have a ctholic wedding after the judge weds them?Does this differ by area or is it a standard rule now?

[/quote]

Congratulations on your coming child!!
Why not marry now in the church? If you wait until the baby is born you won't have time to marry, unless you're very wealthy and you have a lot of help.
You can always have a reception later and maybe your priest would perform a special blessing or even a big party for the baptism.
I've known babies who could take down three people in two days (mom, dad and grandma)


#5

[quote="Margy1948, post:3, topic:315018"]
Well, I hope that someone may know the answer because why would a person have to wait at all?
If a person is already expecting a child and the couple wants to wed why can't a priest simply perform the wedding, why would folks need to go to the courthouse to begin with?
:confused:

[/quote]

Some priests won't marry a couple expecting a baby because it could be considered that they are not giving 'free consent' due to the pregnancy.

The Church also requires that they be properly prepared before marrying. That can take a month or 3 or 5 depending on the diocese, the parish and the availability of marriage preparation. As an example, the parish next to ours offers their marriage prep once a year in March -- get engaged in April and you aren't getting married for at least a year. Of course you could travel some 600 km to our parish but here the priest has been doing marriage prep with each couple individually so may not be willing to prepare a couple who are not getting married here or who are not part of his congregation.


#6

My husband and I married at the courthouse and then in the Church. Our Church wedding was 7 months after the courthouse, 2 months after asking the priest to marry us. It does vary depending on the diocese and also the priest so you would need to ask your priest. Also, our Church wedding was at a regularly scheduled Sat. evening Mass so it wasn't nearly as extravagant and didn't require much planning. And the priest didn't need to arrange for the Church to be available in order to accommodate us. If you are willing to be flexible, your priest might be more willing and able to work with you.


#7

[quote="onjac, post:2, topic:315018"]
It's best to contact your parish priest on this matter.

[/quote]

That's the correct answer.

There is no requirement absolute requirement on waiting, but typically a year or so is recommended to account for the required marriage preparation. But, as someone else noted, the "free consent" issue comes into play when the woman is pregnant, and may result in a longer preparation period.

I highly recommend NOT being married civilly. The Church does not recognize purely civil marriages between Catholics, and it will simply complicate matters further.


#8

Thankyou everyone for the answers. Yes we need to speak to our priest as well. That gets complicated because of an issue we are having with our church here of 29yrs (me) and life(52yrs) for my husband. Our son is not a teenager and he fiancee is an adult as well. The complication expands when you consider she lives out -of-state 5hrs from our parish. The couple has consulted the church in her hometown area in Arkansas and been told 6 mos wait. My son is concerned that the baby will be born without a legal father and that the parents names will not be the same on the birth certificate. Right now those seem like big issues. In the big picture they really are not. I worry more if by getting a legal marriage for now that they will disconnect themselves from sacraments while they wait the allotted time period before the church will allow a formal religious ceremony(which is what they both want).


#9

I know of a couple who had a court house wedding and 1 month later got married in church…no wait at all. Why would there be a waiting period in the first place?


#10

[quote="rosietop, post:8, topic:315018"]
Thankyou everyone for the answers. Yes we need to speak to our priest as well. That gets complicated because of an issue we are having with our church here of 29yrs (me) and life(52yrs) for my husband. Our son is not a teenager and he fiancee is an adult as well. The complication expands when you consider she lives out -of-state 5hrs from our parish. The couple has consulted the church in her hometown area in Arkansas and been told 6 mos wait. My son is concerned that the baby will be born without a legal father and that the parents names will not be the same on the birth certificate. Right now those seem like big issues. In the big picture they really are not. I worry more if by getting a legal marriage for now that they will disconnect themselves from sacraments while they wait the allotted time period before the church will allow a formal religious ceremony(which is what they both want).

[/quote]

I'm not sure if this will make any difference to your son and his fiancee, but at least in some states, the mother's maiden name, not legal married name, is still the name used in the birth certificate and also on the BAPTISMAL certificate from the Church. We will soon have our 8th child, 5 born in one state, 2 born in a different state, and this one in still another. With the first 7, two were born out of wedlock and all the baptism and birth certificates match the ones from our marriage. I'm listed with my maiden name, my husband's name of course didn't change with marriage. The two oldest that were born before our marriage, my husband signed a statement of paternity at the hospital to acknowledge he is their father, it is legal and binding. We were young when the oldest was born (16 and 19) so marriage at that time was not an option. But we have always raised our children together. In all honesty, my oldest biologically is NOT my husband's son. They both know that (it's a long and very personal story), and my husband has always known. He was a virgin when our son was born so it was obvious he couldn't have fathered him. But still he wanted to sign the paper knowing full well it was legally binding and legally he would forever be responsible to this baby. A child can be given any name the parent(s) choose even if the name matches NEITHER parent's last name. There are many options besides a rushed ceremony. We did marry civilly and 7 months later at a regularly scheduled Mass. We then renewed our vows in my husband's hometown in front of his family later that year. We feel lucky to have 3 anniversaries, but I highly recommend holding off for the sacrament if at all possible. I don't regret my civil marriage, but I greatly missed the Eucharist during the time between the civil ceremony and the sacramental marriage. So did my husband. God has blessed your family with a new life. Rejoice! Everything else will work itself out and no one will even care in a few months or a year. Congratulations to all of you.


#11

sounds like your son is a responsible father, congratulations, you did a good job!
i agree that the priest had better handle this situation delicately and with respect, at 27 both of them are old enough to know what they want, with a teenage pregnancy i can understand waiting.


#12

thankyou :)


#13

[quote="rosietop, post:8, topic:315018"]
Thank you everyone for the answers. Yes we need to speak to our priest as well. That gets complicated because of an issue we are having with our church here of 29yrs (me) and life(52yrs) for my husband. Our son is not a teenager and he fiancee is an adult as well. The complication expands when you consider she lives out -of-state 5hrs from our parish. The couple has consulted the church in her hometown area in Arkansas and been told 6 mos wait. My son is concerned that the baby will be born without a legal father and that the parents names will not be the same on the birth certificate. Right now those seem like big issues. In the big picture they really are not. I worry more if by getting a legal marriage for now that they will disconnect themselves from sacraments while they wait the allotted time period before the church will allow a formal religious ceremony(which is what they both want).

[/quote]

As long as your son acknowledges the child he will be recognized as the father and his name will be on the birth certificate. In our province, that simply means that he signs a paper indicating he's the baby's father. As for surnames, regardless of what was said by a prior poster, not all jurisdictions will allow you to give anything you want. Our province allows only the mother's surname OR the father's surname OR a combination of both -- and that's regardless of the parents' marital status, as long as the father has acknowledged the child if they are unmarried.

His fiancée's maiden name will be recorded whether they are married or not. That's just how births and baptisms are recorded and how birth & baptismal certificates are issued.


#14

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