Is it a lie not to volunteer information?


#1

Say you broke something (as an example, the other day when I got really steamed over the falling through of that missionary, I think kicked or slammed a cabinet door in my house, damaging it), is it a lie to not voluntarily admit to breaking it? In other words, say someone noticed the damage, but they merely say something, but they do not ask what caused it, and I go, “Okay”, basically acknowledging what they said.

Is this a lie? And, if so, is it a mortal sin/grave matter?


#2

Actually, I am not sure what I said when the person noticed the damage, but they did not ask what caused it, they merely noticed it.


#3

It’s wrong not to tell the owner that you damaged it. You should also offer to fix it or pay for it to be fixed if it can be. I believe it is called the sin of omission. This is another good reason to not let your temper get the better of you. It just isn’t worth it.


#4

Well, I told the person what happened, but was I guilty of mortal sin? I Confessed the anger itself awhile ago.


#5

I would say damaging another person’s property and not making restitution constitutes stealing and is, therefore, breaking one of the Commandments and a mortal sin.

However, if you broke something, fixed it promptly and properly, and just didn’t 'fess up to having done it, I think it would be “no harm, no foul” and you were no longer on the “mortal” side of the equations . . .


#6

I really don’t know. I don’t believe so. Why don’t you look up Frdavid here and email him directly? Go up to the members on the top of the page and look him up.


#7

That is not the definition of thef according to the Catholic Encyclopedia.

However, if you broke something, fixed it promptly and properly, and just didn’t 'fess up to having done it, I think it would be “no harm, no foul” and you were no longer on the “mortal” side of the equations . . .

Well, I didn’t break the cabinet to where it is no longer functional, it is more an appearance issue (the edge of the cabinet door is surrounded by a stile and I damage the edge of the stile).


Also, on a side note, I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown as a Catholic sometimes. I mean I am always so afraid of committing a mortal sin and it doesn’t help when people have these odd definitions of different thing. It really gets to me sometimes.

I am sorry if I sound heated or something, but this Scrupulosity is really getting to me.

EDIT: I really mean it about this Scupulosity bothering me. And I always find a way to make everything a mortal sin and it really is getting to me.


#8

I hear you! I used to go through the same thing. You would probably benefit from getting the catechism. Because you can’t go by how guilty you feel, especially if you feel guilty about everything. In some sense I had thought that I was being conscientious when I was like that then I found out that being scupulous is actually a lack of trust in God and His Mercy. So I have to remind myself a few things: Jesus I trust in You…and also what Padre Pio says…Pray, Hope and don’t worry. It also helps just to ask when you go to confession. That’s what I do


#9

I can’t spell but here goes. Scrupulosity (?) is the bane of many catholics. I would never say don’t worry about something but I would say not too over worry.

What makes a mortal sin? It has to be grave matter, must be with full knowledge and full consent.

Suppose your out of town on Sunday. You wake up and intend to go a later mass at the church near the hotel and find out they only have a mass at 9 A.m. You could and should have checked the schedul the day before but didn’t and so the sin is most likely venial. It was an error but not intentional. Now suppose you decide to go to the beach on Sunday and that requires you to skip mass and you say “I know it’s a sin and I don’t care, I am going to the beach.” Much graver sin.

Suppose you broke somthing and were somewhat afraid to fess up for some reason, but eventually did. With the fess up I would mark it down to a confessionable but more venial in nature.

I am not a priest, just a layman.

Scrupulosity puts a great deal of guilot and terror on the faithful where it doesn’t belong. Do your examination of consience and get to confession as often as you need. But remember that God loves you and is all merciful. It is not His desire for us to live with our heads down in guilt but with our eys on Him in heaven and in His love.

Confession is an important sacrement. But unless you said, “NO! I won’t tell! I WILL LIE!” It is probably not mortal, especially since you went back later and made whatever restitution you needed to.

Pax


#10

Well, when I was first talking to the person (my father), I was kind of debating whether to tell or not and decided not to, but I don’t think I was sure if I was lying or not. That is why it bothered me…I wasn’t sure.

Should I receive Communion tonight though?

EDIT: As it stands, I probably won’t go to Vigil Mass tonight because I am tired, but do you think it is okay to receive Communion tomorrow at Sunday Mass?


#11

A person whose property is damaged has every right to know who damaged it and have restitution made for that damage. To not fess up when you’ve damaged someone’s property, while it might not be a lie as such, is nonetheless an offence against the truth.

I can’t tell you whether it was a grave sin or not, but in your case I wouldn’t receive communion, would fess up and make restitution if possible and would seek the advice of a priest in confession.


#12

Does anyone even possibly understand how difficult this is for me as a Catholic? Every day I end up worrying about mortal sin and, according to Priests, going to Confession way too much. Then I come here and I rarely get a straight answer on issues that concern me and then end up in Confession with Priests who then tell me I go way too much!

So I sometimes think give these flippant answers without actually turning to Catholic doctrine and I don’t think people realize how disturbing it is. And for some reason, this doubt and fear is turning into frustration and anger.

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! WHY?!

EDIT: And did anyone read where I mentioned that today I ‘fessed up’ as it were? Half the time I feel like people give my questions and follow-ups a cursory glance and then just proceed into answering.


#13

nsper7, as a scrupulous person, you NEED to confine your questions to the priest in confession. You should have only one priest that you consult, one who knows you and your struggles and who is confident in dealing with scrupulosity. And you should obey him without question. You should not second-guess him or come here to get opinions on what he told you. Your own experience tells you that it only makes things more difficult to seek opinions here on your struggles.

There are quite a number of people here who only read the first post in the thread before they give an answer. I don’t think that’s the best way to operate, but I don’t know their reasons - they just do it. It’s not against you personally.

So go and have a heart-to-heart with the priest who seems to be the most helpful to you and talk about how to deal with your scrupulosity. Then stick to him like glue and do whatever he tells you, even if it doesn’t seem to make sense. You’ll never go wrong by obeying.

Betsy


#14

I am sorry for getting so frustrated. I guess my question is still: can I receive Communion today?


#15

My answer would be if in doubt don’t. Joan of Arc received once a month, many saints would have only received a few times a year, didn’t do them any harm.


#16

I’ve already given you my opinion on that. And I told you what MY definition of you ‘fessing up’ was - tell the owner that you did the damage, he or she has a right to know.

I see no indication that you’ve done that, so you haven’t ‘fessed up’ to your wrongdoing, you just acknowledged that the cabinet is damaged. A bit like a murderer telling police ‘yes, this person is definitely dead’ but not owning up to having killed them.

See, a desire to make restitution for your sin (if possible, sometimes it isn’t) is an important part of sorrow for that sin. Someone who has no desire to undo the evil effects of their sins, and admitting to the victim that you’ve done it is often a necessary part of that.


#17

You didn’t read my later post (that was why I went on a rant about people not reading later posts) where I said I did admit to do doing the damage later.


#18

So, let’s try putting this in another light. Sometimes taking things out of their original framework is useful in understanding the issues. To set this up, you need to know that my work involves computers, programming, and a very complex database language called SQL. Now, let’s redo your question in my world.

*Does anyone even possibly understand how difficult this is for me as a database administrator? Every day I end up worrying about bad data and, according to IT department, rebuilding my indexes way too much. Then I come here and I rarely get a straight answer on issues that concern me and then end up calling the help desk who then tell me I fiddle with my schema way too much!

So I sometimes think give these flippant answers without actually turning to the documentation and I don’t think people realize how disturbing it is. And for some reason, this doubt and fear is turning into frustration and anger.

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! WHY?!*

OK, so what you you say to me?

  1. Suck it up Paul. Stop being such a drama queen. Maybe not so helpful, but honest!

  2. Listen to what the experts in IT tell you. They know. Trust them.

  3. Stop asking people who are complete strangers, have an unknown skill level, and give you conflicting, confusing answer.

Paul


#19

My apologies for missing that post. :blush: I guess these old eyes need a trip to the optometrist. :nerd:

Since you did indeed admit to your wrongdoing to the person whose property you damaged (hopefully not too much later) and have (I think you said) confessed doing the damage too - then I don’t see any problem with you receiving communion.

Even if the admission only occurred some time after, I don’t think that delay was a mortal sin that required confession.


#20

I ABSOLUTELY disagree with you that this is a mortal sin. To be a mortal sin, an act must be a grave matter. It must be seriously wrong. Damaging a kitchen cabinet or similar item in these circumstances does not qualify, especially if the sinner did not mean any permanent harm at the time, and is willing to do the repairs.

I am sorry to hear the original poster say he(?) has problems with scrupulosity and is constantly worried about mortal sins. Please, be assured of God’s mercy! You cannot commit a mortal sin by accident! For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must be true:

  1. It must be a grave (serious) matter.
  2. The person must be aware that it is a grave matter.
  3. The person must give full consent.

Because of #2, you can NEVER commit a mortal sin and not know it.

Damage caused in an angry outburst might be a mortal sin if, say, you angrily and intentionally crashed into another car while driving, or struck a person weaker than yourself, or intentionally destroyed a very valuable object like a work of art. But not damaging furniture, which can be repaired.

Let me say it again: Please be assured of God’s mercy. Pray to God for help with your anxieties. Remember this prayer to Jesus from the Mass: “Keep us from sin and protect us from all anxieties.” If you pray this prayer regularly, then I am sure that Jesus will not let you fall into mortal sin without you first CONSCIOUSLY and INTENTIONALLY deciding to reject Him.


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