I moved in with my elderly parents about 5 years ago to provide domestic support, since both have disabilities; they are currently 89 and 90. I used to love them a lot until I got to know them so well. My mother is very rigid and domineering, and my father swears constantly and is verbally abusive to my mother. BTW, for what it’s worth, I am a convert and the only person in my entire family who practices a faith or appears to care about God (although that is a judgment I really can’t in fairness make).
Because I love Jesus with all my heart, I am very kind, respectful, generous and charitable to them nearly all the time–which takes tremendous patience and self-control–but I recently realized that I will not care when they are gone, which honestly shocks me. I feel like I must be a horrible person. I would love to talk to my pastor about this, but I am afraid of what he will think of me, since I know he is devoted to his parents.