Is It A Sin To End A Friendship When The Other Person Is Moody


#1

About 8 months ago,I reunited with a childhood friend after 30 years.We have had this long distance friendship since she lives in upstate New York.We spoke on the phone almost every other day and exchanged gifts on birthdays and holidays.As time went on she became moodier,and would not return phone calls for days(if at all) would let me do all the talking and didn't know how to respond to my problems.She always made excuses for not calling back.As time went on she became critical and more erratic.I finally ended the friendship via email after explaining that I couldn't deal with her moody erratic behavior.A part of me misses our conversations,but I can never go back to the way things were.


#2

A part of me misses our conversations

from your description, the conversations ended long before the talking did. have you considered that your friend might be relieved?


#3

A daily recitation from you of your problems may have been more than she could handle.


#4

[quote="monicatholic, post:2, topic:242983"]
from your description, the conversations ended long before the talking did. have you considered that your friend might be relieved?

[/quote]

I was thinking the same thing. Since she did not return phone calls and did not want to talk, it sounded like she already ended the friendship.


#5

Could it have been the size of the type you are using in your posts? :tiphat:

Sorry about that, just couldn't resist. I have a friend who loves to put coals on the fire of whatever might be going on in my life, picks exactly the sore spot and then opens it every time. However, he really dislikes it if others do the same to him.

Seems that irriating others sensitive spots allows him to feel less pained about his own. Anyway, I learn to avoid those areas, change the subject, or ask why he wants to go in this direction. I know he won't change, I have worked on this for years, but he still needs my friendship.

Not sure if this is a similar situation to yourself, but when you pull the plug on some people the line to connect to them is gone forever and they just put you in the long line of:

*"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate" *


#6

Well, one way to divest oneself of enemies is to move and leave no forwarding address.


#7

Why do you think this is a sin?


#8

Not every little thing is sinful. I've ended friendships because the other person lacks class, is a buzzkill, boring, whatever.

I'm curious-why in God's name would you think it's sinful? If you purposely try to hurt someones feelings, that's wrong, but this is reality. Sometimes people shouldn't be friends.


#9

[size=]I guess I felt guilty ending our friendship my email,especially if she had emotional problems.There was nothing I could say or do to keep the friendship alive.As people pointed out,I think she lost interest before we stopped talking.I know in the bible there is a passage where Jesus says;If at all possible,be at peace with everyone.[/size]


#10

It’s too bad, but your attempt to renew a friendship didn’t work. You and your friend couldn’t sustain a relationship with only the emotional resources and modes of communication you had.

I hope you were gentle in how you said goodbye, but what is done is done. As for having done it by e-mail, when the person lives a long way away and won’t return phone calls, your only choices are to cut off the relationship via mail or else to just cut it off without any explanation at all. Your choices were limited; I wouldn’t beat yourself up about that.

Jesus also said “don’t throw your pearls before swine” and to shake the dust from your feet when a town won’t hear you. When you are rejected, accept it, mark the rupture in whatever way seems fitting, but then move on as much as you can.


#11

Dear franny50, you didn’t end the friendship. SHE did. For whatever reason, she just never told you. If you harbor no ill-will towards her, you are at peace with her. Being at peace with others doesn’t mean having active relationships with everyone you ever meet. It means that you don’t harbor resentment, anger, bitterness or ill-will towards anyone.


#12

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