Is it a sin to flirt with men in bars to get free drinks?


#1

So, I don’t even drink alcohol at all for various reasons, and I’ve never done this myself. I’ve also never consciously flirted with men for any ulterior motives.

However, I do know women who admit to flirting heavily with men in bars, not with the object of hooking up with them, BUT with the object of getting the men to buy them free drinks and other goodies.

Indeed, one such woman stated she would never actually hook up with a man if he bought her drinks, and seemed offended that I’d think she would. “I only believe in having sex if you’re in love”, she told me (I know this isn’t enough reason to have sex per Church teaching, but unfortunately, in her social circle such a stance is seen is borderline prudish.)

But, it seems obvious to me that their M.O. is to get men to HOPE they have a chance for “action” if they buy the women their drinks. I can even see men stating this kind of behavior is deceptive, or even borderline malicious, assuming such women want to not just trick the men, but to actually humiliate them. Is that, therefore, sinful?

I also once heard a woman known as a fast driver, saying that she didn’t have a radar detector in her car because if she ever got pulled over for speeding, “I’ll just sob and wail at the cop, and hope he lets me off with a warning – and if that doesn’t work, I’ll flash my chest at him”.

Again, I doubt this woman would seriously consider actually doing more than that to get out of a ticket, she wouldn’t actually have sex with the cop. And she may have been joking. But I assume flashing your chest to get out of the ticket is also sinful.


#2

Not sure if it’s a sin, but it sure is some kind of dark, underhanded thing to do. It’s using someone. Doesn’t sound very charitable at all.


#3

I do not know exactly. It is exactly kind to be honest. Have I done it? No. It is props if a guy buys me drinks after dancing with me.


#4

It seems manipulative and dishonest, if you ask me. Of course, if she’s married, then flirting with someone in a situation like this is certainly sinful (I’m assuming he’s not her husband).

Having said all this, I would discourage this kind of behavior.

Just my two cents.

Benedicat Deus,
Latinitas


#5

I don’t know whether it is a sin, but you could easily be providing a near occasion for sin in the fellow’s head. Males often, after all, have bio-ulterior motives for buying “goodies” for chicks.

We are not to lead others into temptation. Everybody can find it on their own.

It would also seem that the combination of alcohol and flirting **CAN, **at times, be dangerous for the woman, at the very least morally.

IMNAAHO!

ICXC NIKA


#6

In both examples, they have sold their souls to a dialectic.

Do you think they have got a life?


#7

Do you plan to tell your “friend” to knock it off?
Seems like you know it’s not the right thing to do. :shrug:


#8

You shouldn’t do it.

Imagine if I flirted with women in supermarkets so they would buy me chocolate?

:blush:


#9

It is a sin because you are using the other person as an object to get something that is not even good for you. It is depersonalizations. But people do these things all the time. Part of the culture.:frowning:


#10

Well, I wouldn’t call her a “friend”, more the kind of acquaintance I wouldn’t be comfortable lecturing. I did consider at least mentioning the hazard, that some of these men might actually get really angry at her, or even try to take by force what he thinks she implicitly promised him. But that could have opened me up to accusations of victim-blaming. So I just let it go. It just occurred to me to wonder, if this kind of behavior was sinful.


#11

I believe it is a sin. The woman no interest in the man, she just wants a free drink.

As far as flashing a policeman goes, I think it could get someone in a lot of trouble.


#12

When you are using someone to get something for yourself, it cannot be anything but sinful.
Especially, hanging out in bars & giving men a false hope of committing sin later in the night is not what a Christian woman should do.


#13

Yeah, I’d worry about that too - if she keeps doing that, she’s going to catch a guy that can get attached really quickly, and that can be intensified with alcohol. That could turn out badly


#14

Yes, it is a sin. She is lying to obtain something under false pretenses. She is also putting herself in danger of seduction, rape, physical harm, or even murder. Very risky business!

You would do her a great service to tell her frankly that it is wrong. If she doesn’t like, it, you haven’t lost anything.


#15

I understand. But do have a conceptual understanding of the moral truth that you could get hurt.


#16

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