Just for context, I’m a born and raised catholic, but only recently I’ve started to take my spirituality seriously (paying attention to the mass, confessing regularly, praying when I’m happy, sad or just to thank God for my life). The problem is, I do not think the church is right in everything.
I mean, look at the amount of christian churches out there, and there is also the division within the catholic church (the orthodox church). I’ve heard the orthodox church does not belive in the purgatory, so who is right?
Anyways, the most important reason for me to be asking this is that I have some beliefs deep in my heart, and I want to know if feeling like this is a sin. For exemple, I find it absurd that people even discuss if unborn babies go to heaven if they aren’t baptized, I’m sure God doesn’t need a person to go through a ritual (baptism) for them to go to Heaven. Also, I believe God loves us so much that hell is empty. Look, God certainly knows that hell wouldn’t be pleasurable to anyone, so He certainly is able to show a glimpse of heaven to a person who died and lived an unapologetically sinful life - I imagine he/she would be so amazed that they would repent greatly, and God would accept him/her (By the way, reading the parable of the prodigal son shows us that the father accepted his son as soon as he returned). Also, I don’t think you have to be catholic to go to heaven, I just think the catholic life is the most beneficial and holy way to live this earthly life. For instance, why would a japanese person, that probably knows as much about catholicism as an american person knows about buddhism, not go to heaven? Following this train of thought, it doesn’t make sense that a born and raised evangelical person, that is good and lives their life worshipping God, would go to hell if they died in serious sin (they don’t confess to a priest).
Lastly, is it ok if I’m not a huge fan of the catholic church? I like most aspects of her, such as the charity and the devotion to Mary. However, I can’t stop thinking that she makes mistakes that take away her greatness. Like, if people there are so wise and all (I’m reffering to important people in the hierarchy), why did they oppose heliocentrism and even threatened Galileo? Also with all the recurrent scandals involving the church…
Well, I think that’s it. I just want to make it clear that my main question is if you think I’m sinning by having these thoughts, although it would be great to know what you think about specific thoughts I wrote about. Also, I’m not asking this as a way to “weaken” my faith and begin to selectively practice catholicism. When I’m in the church i feel closer to God, I also feel that the catholic way of life is good. I live my life according to the church teachings mostly because if feels good to my soul, but maybe 10% of me follows that because I could be wrong and tradicionalist catholics who say that 99% of people go hell could be right. (I wonder if following the church partly due to fear of going to hell is a sin).
That’s it, I know my question got wordy. But yeah, thank you if you read what I had to say, and it would be nice to know your opinion.