Is It A Sin To Have Homosexual/Transgender Feelings?


#1

Just to clarify, I have been married to my husband for 5 years, and we have a 3-year-old daughter. I am a practicing Catholic, and we are raising our daughter in the Church as well.

But, for as long as I can remember, I have struggled with feelings of being born in the wrong body; that is, I feel as though I should have been born a boy. I have also always felt sexually attracted to women, although I have never acted on my feelings.

I have struggled with these feelings for many years, and some days are worse than others. But I love my family, and want to remain faithful to my husband.

I really don’t think that I am choosing to feel this way, and pray everyday that God will help me to stop these thoughts.

Is having these feelings a sin, in and of itself?

I appreciate your thoughts on the matter.


#2

[quote="Akarn16, post:1, topic:326558"]
Just to clarify, I have been married to my husband for 5 years, and we have a 3-year-old daughter. I am a practicing Catholic, and we are raising our daughter in the Church as well.

But, for as long as I can remember, I have struggled with feelings of being born in the wrong body; that is, I feel as though I should have been born a boy. I have also always felt sexually attracted to women, although I have never acted on my feelings.

I have struggled with these feelings for many years, and some days are worse than others. But I love my family, and want to remain faithful to my husband.

I really don't think that I am choosing to feel this way, and pray everyday that God will help me to make them go away.

Is having these feelings a sin, in and of itself? I appreciate your thoughts on the matter.

[/quote]

No, having these feelings is not a sin. I laud your success in fighting these thoughts in desires, and am thankful to God that He has given you the graces to avoid acting on them.

You have not sinned by these feelings, and I daresay your reward in Heaven will be even greater for having been forced to fight these temptations for so long.

God Bless. :);)


#3

[quote="Akarn16, post:1, topic:326558"]
Just to clarify, I have been married to my husband for 5 years, and we have a 3-year-old daughter. I am a practicing Catholic, and we are raising our daughter in the Church as well.

But, for as long as I can remember, I have struggled with feelings of being born in the wrong body; that is, I feel as though I should have been born a boy. I have also always felt sexually attracted to women, although I have never acted on my feelings.

I have struggled with these feelings for many years, and some days are worse than others. But I love my family, and want to remain faithful to my husband.

I really don't think that I am choosing to feel this way, and pray everyday that God will help me to stop these thoughts.

Is having these feelings a sin, in and of itself?

I appreciate your thoughts on the matter.

[/quote]

They are not sinful per se just as experiencing other types of concupiscence is not sinful per se.


#4

No. The Church has it made absolutely clear that temptations (this is what they are) are not sinful.

Just don’t consent to these feelings.


#5

They are no more sinful than hyperactive sexuality, or water on the knees. It is a condition, like a disease, like sin, needing treatment. (Sin is a disease of the soul, you know?) The treatment is self-denial and community support - in avoiding harmful behaviours such as self-mutilation, sodomy, or sapphist practises, and in affirming God's love for you and desire make you the best "you" you can be.


#6

It must be very difficult for you feeling that way.

Remember, though, that feelings are not a sin. Acting on them can be.

You're in my prayers


#7

Not a sin to have them run across your mind.

Very likely a sin to nurse them, to dwell on them, to conjure them up, to not struggle to replace them with prayer or other thoughts.

The will needs to be in charge of the emotions, always.

Nursing such thoughts is a sin.


#8

Thank you all for your responses.

I find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that I must live with this for the rest of my life, but I will do my best and continue to pray that God will give me the strength I need.

I try very hard not to linger on these thoughts (I have a busy work and family life, as well as hobbies), but it is not something I can escape from.

My husband wants me to seek therapy from a gender therapist, but I am worried that whoever I see would diagnose me with gender identity disorder and recommend that I transition to male (which is the last thing I need). My past experience with therapists and psychologists has been that they are disrespectful and/or dismissive of my faith...

Should I speak to my priest about this, or would it be preferable to continue to pray and try to work through this on my own? I also don't want to be treated differently in my parish community.

Thanks again!


#9

[quote="Akarn16, post:8, topic:326558"]
Thank you all for your responses.

I find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that I must live with this for the rest of my life, but I will do my best and continue to pray that God will give me the strength I need.

I try very hard not to linger on these thoughts (I have a busy work and family life, as well as hobbies), but it is not something I can escape from.

My husband wants me to seek therapy from a gender therapist, but I am worried that whoever I see would diagnose me with gender identity disorder and recommend that I transition to male (which is the last thing I need). My past experience with therapists and psychologists has been that they are disrespectful and/or dismissive of my faith...

Should I speak to my priest about this, or would it be preferable to continue to pray and try to work through this on my own? I also don't want to be treated differently in my parish community.

Thanks again!

[/quote]

priests generally have no idea how to deal with it and the Holy See has said little


#10

nope


#11

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:9, topic:326558"]
priests generally have no idea how to deal with it and the Holy See has said little

[/quote]

Definitely not true.

Priests, probably more than most people, know a GREAT deal about the struggle for chastity, a proper use of one's sexual functions give ones vocation in life.

And they know a great deal by dealing with a wide variety of struggles via confession.


#12

It’s a sin to nurse them, to dwell on them…in the same way that most sexual fantasies are sinful.

Temptations aren’t sinful…but common sense will tell you that there is a line that is crossed between passing thoughts and constructed or nursed thoughts.


#13

[quote="Edward_H, post:12, topic:326558"]
It's a sin to nurse them, to dwell on them....in the same way that most sexual fantasies are sinful.

Temptations aren't sinful....but common sense will tell you that there is a line that is crossed between passing thoughts and constructed or nursed thoughts.

[/quote]

The OP asked: Is It A Sin To Have Homosexual/Transgender Feelings?

The answer is NO. That is the correct answer.

If she were to ask if it was a sin to ACT on them by either going out and physically doing something, or making the conscious decision to fantasize/dwell, then the answer would have been yes. But that wasn't her question.


#14

Duplicate. Sorry.


#15

[quote="Debora123, post:13, topic:326558"]
The OP asked: Is It A Sin To Have Homosexual/Transgender Feelings?

The answer is NO. That is the correct answer.

If she were to ask if it was a sin to ACT on them by either going out and physically doing something, or making the conscious decision to fantasize/dwell, then the answer would have been yes. But that wasn't her question.

[/quote]

Nope. Most feelings are under some volitional control, at least in adults.

So you're wrong to conclude that feelings aren't necessarily sinful. They are sinful if they've been nursed....which is definitely part of complicated aspect of human sexuality, actually more broadly human behavior.

Resentment is a feeling and it can be nursed. Desire is a feeling and it can be nursed. Envy is a feeling an it can be nursed or yoked.

The struggle for holiness to a large extent is the struggle to yoke our emotions.


#16

Once again, she asked if HAVING them is wrong. She didn’t ask if nursing/dwelling is wrong.

Everyone here has told her no, simply HAVING this attraction/feeling is not wrong in and of itself. No need to nit pick at my comment in particular when I’ve done nothing but agree with everyone else here. Including you.


#17

[quote="Debora123, post:16, topic:326558"]
Once again, she asked if HAVING them is wrong. She didn't ask if nursing/dwelling is wrong.

Everyone here has told her no, simply HAVING this attraction/feeling is not wrong in and of itself. No need to nit pick at my comment in particular when I've done nothing but agree with everyone else here. Including you.

[/quote]

You miss the fundamental point. Do you know what volitional control is? A volitional act can cause one to have a feeling.

Deliberately using one's memory to evoke a feeling..like resentment, an illicit sexual act...is a sin.

A man for example can cause himself to be sexually excited merely by memory, imagination.

So a feeling can be caused by will and it in these cases could be sin.

Jeepers.


#18

[quote="Edward_H, post:17, topic:326558"]
You miss the fundamental point. Do you know what volitional control is? A volitional act can cause one to have a feeling.

Deliberately using one's memory to evoke a feeling..like resentment, an illicit sexual act...is a sin.

A man for example can cause himself to be sexually excited merely by memory, imagination.

So a feeling can be caused by will and it in these cases could be sin.

Jeepers.

[/quote]

Lol. The reason I'm laughing is because I agree with you (as well as with everyone else who has responded) but you keep arguing with me, and you keep accusing me of advocating something that I am not.

Perhaps this is because we have a history of disagreements so you're just somehow programmed to nitpick and argue with me even when no argument is necessary. ;)

Yes, I AGREE with you. If she nurses these feelings, if she dwells on these feelings, if she does ANYTHING at all to "fuel the fire".. this will be a sin. Do you understand that? Do you understand what I am saying to you?

However, to simply HAVE these feelings unprovoked, and to simply have an attraction to the opposite sex, is not a sin. If you disagree with this, and you believe it is a sin in and of itself to have SSA, then this is where we disagree. But I'm pretty sure that's not what you are saying, that's why I keep telling you we are actually in full agreement.


#19

[quote="dshix, post:2, topic:326558"]
No, having these feelings is not a sin. I laud your success in fighting these thoughts in desires, and am thankful to God that He has given you the graces to avoid acting on them.

You have not sinned by these feelings, and I daresay your reward in Heaven will be even greater for having been forced to fight these temptations for so long.

God Bless. :);)

[/quote]

:thumbsup:


#20

[quote="Dakota_Roberts, post:3, topic:326558"]
They are not sinful per se just as experiencing other types of concupiscence is not sinful per se.

[/quote]

:thumbsup:


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