Is it a sin to not tell my parents what I confessed in the Sacrament of Reconciliation,they are Catholic in name only and I am a 16 year old single male.I have been trying to truly live the faith to the best of my ability(with Gods grace of course) but almost every time I go to confession they tell me I’m crazy for going regularly because they think that only people like Hitler go to hell and that almost nothing is a sin.Still they ask me what I confess and I know that they just want to tell that I’m crazy for confessing whatever it is I confessed and it’s gotten to the point where I lied to get to confession and I know they’re worried that I’m going to go insane by trying to be a Saint but still it hurts to have my parents whom I love so dearly fight me so hard on me on the faith they themselves brought me to.Plz help.
No, it is not a sin to not tell your parents what you confessed. They do not have any right to know and it’s supposed to be private between you and the priest.
I’m sorry you’re having so much trouble with your parents over this. Hopefully in a couple of years you’ll be able to move out and not have them in your business.
Absolutely not. This is not a sin.
However, if you wish, you can tell them a few venial sins and
tell them that these are only venial sins that you’re telling them but that you do
have mortal sins (if you do) that you are embarrassed to mention.
Look at this as an opportunity to draw them closer to their faith and not as an obstacle.
but almost every time I go to confession they tell me I’m crazy for going regularly because they think that only people like Hitler go to hell and that almost nothing is a sin.e
How often do you go? Going everyday is too much and they would be right about telling you that you’re crazy. Once a fortnight is perfectly fine.
They are wrong about the Hitler thing. You can gently and lovingly tell them Jesus said
“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to perdition and many there are who enter through it. How narrow is the gate, and how straight the way, which leads to life and few there are who find it.” -Matthew Ch7 V13-15
Still they ask me what I confess and I know that they just want to tell that I’m crazy for confessing whatever it is I confessed
Why do they think its crazy? Tell me. They probably have a good reason for this. Ask yourself this. Ask them.
and it’s gotten to the point where I lied to get to confession and I know they’re worried that I’m going to go insane by trying to be a Saint
No saint went insane by trying to be a saint. If you are going insane trying to be holy, then you are doing it wrong! Sounds like perhaps you are scrupulous. Be careful not be scrupulous. (I went crazy trying to be holy in my teen years too and I paid dearly for it. I did it all wrong and I was extremely scrupulous for years! It took me a couple of years to overcome it).
but still it hurts to have my parents whom I love so dearly fight me so hard on me on the faith they themselves brought me to.Plz help.
It shouldn’t hurt. You are likely doing something wrong. We humans have a bad habit of thinking everyone else is wrong when the problem was us the whole time! Think again.
I only go when I know that i have committed a mortal sin for example in the beginning of my reversion and when my zeal was high I would go several days and once give or take two weeks before going back but more recently as I grow so too I fall because I was doing good saying at least two or three rosaries a day but then we took a vacation and everything got out of wack spiritualy and I fell more easily into sin and I’ve been trying to get my act together and I think I am starting to be scrupulous and I’m really trying not to be.Thank you so much you’ve been a really good help and I’m pretty sure that I’m doing something wrong,I just don’t want to have to abandon them to follow Jesus I want to be able to walk with Him with them.
Find a good confessor and tell him that you suffer from scrupulosity. Take his advice on how often to confess.
@Catholic_Boi3285 , God bless you and your parents .
As others have said , there is no sin in not telling your parents about what you confess , but do talk over the issue with a priest and mention your scruples to him .
These things are best nipped in the bud if they can be .
Your sins mentioned in the confessional are between you and God only. Do not give into pressure from cradle catholics to tell your confessional sins to them.
You can tell them the Catholic Church recommends monthly confessions, (though people are free to go weekly or as needed).
The saints such as St Faustina frequented confession frequently. If the saints needed frequent confession them how much more do we.
Confession is also an opportunity for spiritual direction.
You are right that conversing with them on this too much might only give them an excuse to oppose this more.
You can tell them the Catholic Church recommends monthly confessions, (though people are free to go weekly.
Would it be beneficial to show them Church teachings on frequent confessions?
As yes frequent confessions does not mean someone is breaking all the Commandments every week:
John Paul II went to confession weekly.
Frequent confession is the spiritual practice among some Roman Catholics of going to the sacrament of reconciliation often and regularly in order to grow in holiness. It is a practice that has been recommended by Catholic leaders and saints as a powerful means of growing in love with God, in humility, and having sorrow for sins, since it is considered a personal encounter with Jesus who is the source of God’s grace, help, and forgiveness.
A recommended frequency, based on the teachings of the Pope and Catholic Church law, is between once a month and once a week.
This practice “was introduced into the Church by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit”, according to Pius XII. Confession of everyday faults is “strongly recommended by the Church”, according to the Catechism of the Catholic Church 1458. Paul VI said that frequent confession is “of great value”.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches:
Without being strictly necessary, confession of everyday faults (venial sins) is nevertheless strongly recommended by the Church. Indeed the regular confession of our venial sins helps us form our conscience, fight against evil tendencies, let ourselves be healed by Christ and progress in the life of the Spirit. By receiving more frequently through this sacrament the gift of the Father’s mercy, we are spurred to be merciful as he is merciful. (CCC 1458)
Paul VI who presided over the Second Vatican Council taught that frequent confession is “of great value”.
“Frequent and reverent recourse to this sacrament, even when only venial sin is in question, is of great value. Frequent Confession is not mere ritual repetition, nor is it merely a psychological exercise. Rather it is a constant effort to bring to perfection the grace of our Baptism, so that we carry about in our bodies the death of Jesus Christ who died; so that the life Jesus Christ lives may be more and more manifested in us. In such confessions, while indeed confessing venial sins, penitents should be mainly concerned with becoming more conformed to Christ and more submissive to the voice of the Spirit.”
John Paul II who went to confession weekly, said:
“It would be an illusion to seek after holiness, according to the vocation one has received from God, without partaking frequently of this sacrament of conversion and reconciliation. Those who go to Confession frequently, and do so with the desire to make progress, will notice the strides that they make in their spiritual lives.”
In his Apostolic Exhortation, Reconcilatio et Paenitentia, St. John Paul II also encouraged frequent confession even if only of venial sins:
"We shall also do well to recall that, for a balanced spiritual and pastoral orientation in this regard, great importance must continue to be given to teaching the faithful also to make use of the sacrament of penance for venial sins alone, as is borne out by a centuries-old doctrinal tradition and practice.
"Though the church knows and teaches that venial sins are forgiven in other ways too - for instance, by acts of sorrow, works of charity, prayer, penitential rites - she does not cease to remind everyone of the special usefulness of the sacramental moment for these sins too. The frequent use of the sacrament - to which some categories of the faithful are in fact held - strengthens the awareness that even minor sins offend God and harm the church, the body of Christ. Its celebration then becomes for the faithful ‘the occasion and the incentive to conform themselves more closely to Christ and to make themselves more docile to the voice of the Spirit.’
The advantages of frequent confession was discussed by Pius XII. He said that “the pious practice of frequent Confession which was introduced into the Church by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit [is] to be earnestly advocated.”
Pius XII, who went to confession daily, explained that by frequent confession:
- genuine self-knowledge is increased,
- Christian humility grows,
- bad habits are corrected,
- spiritual neglect and tepidity are resisted,
- the conscience is purified,
- the will strengthened,
- a salutary self-control is attained,
- grace is increased in virtue of the sacrament itself.
He then warned those “who make light of or lessen esteem for frequent Confession know what they are doing. What they are doing is alien to the spirit of Christ and disastrous for the Mystical Body of Christ.”
Pope Paul VI spoke about ‘receiving the Sacrament of Penance frequently, that is twice a month.’ Previous legislation which specified regular intervals for confession spoke about weekly confession. One can therefore say in general terms that, whenever possible, frequent confession will ordinarily mean between once a month and once a week
Just ask Venerable Pius XII…
Daily confession is an acceptable, helpful practice some, in all states of life, feel called to. It can be particularly helpful if one is dealing with sin that is particularly difficult to conquer. Especially if one lives near a parish that offers daily confession.
All sourced from
Would this be something of explanation to parents, or would it only make things worse?
Would it be better to just defend yourself with church teaching in words and then just keep attending confession?
I’m sorry, I can’t wrap my brain around this one.
I don’t even WANT to know what my kids confess lol.
I’m better off not knowing
It is most certainly not a sin to refuse to tell your parents what you confessed.
They have no right to that information and no business asking for it.
You don’t need to lie to them about it. Just tell them you will not answer.
But don’t lie to them to get to Confession. Lying is a sin.
No. Nobody has any right to ask you this.
I’m sure there are situations in which daily confession is advisable, but I’d be immediately concerned about scrupulosity/OCD if I had a friend that was going daily.
I am sure there are plenty of people who use it as an aid to holiness, to gain a strong distate even for the venial sins they have to daily repeat to their confessor. We should not assume a disorder where none exists.
Next time they ask, maybe say something like, “Mom, Dad, I know you want to know what I’m confessing, but it’s private. I don’t want to tell you because it’s personal. If you’re worried that I’m thinking too much is a sin, I’ll talk to the priest and ask him for help.”
If your parents accept that, it may get them to stop asking. They would get a reason you’re not telling them and a course of action to solve things if they worry about a problem. And talking to a priest would definitely help stunt any scruples you may be having.
Tell your parents you find frequent confession helpful, strengthening, and refreshing.
You have no obligation to tell your parents what’s said in the confessional or what sins you’ve confessed.