Is it bad if I am unable to have my son baptized within a month after his birth?

My dilemna is that I don’t know any practicing Catholics well enough to be a god-parent. The Catholics I do know are not practicing and none of my family is Catholic. My baby is due at the end of November soo I don’t know if I would be able to make friends with someone between now and then…

To clarify things a bit more, I am un-married and have no idea whether or not the child’s father will be playing a part in his son’s life. We have been broken up completely for 4 or 5 months and we haven’t been on speaking terms for over a month now. But things are just going to be even more awkward if he decides not to be involved because he is registered at the same parish I am. He’s been Catholic all his life, although isn’t necessarily practicing, and I just became Catholic this past Easter. He attends an earlier mass with his mom, who by the way doesn’t even know I am expecting, while I usually go to the noon mass or 6:00pm mass. Would it be wrong to baptize the baby at this parish without informing the father? That is of course if he decides not to be involved in the child’s life?


Baptism is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children after we have given them life. Baptism configures the child to Christ and makes the child a participant in Christ’s death and resurrection (that is, it forgives original sin). The means that should (God forbid!) anything happen to your child then heaven is assured (at least, before the age of reason). Speak to the parish priest or deacon about your situation. It is possible that they can help you to find sponsors/godparents for your child.

May God bless and keep you as you travel this road.

Deacon Ed

The question in your post seems different than the one in the thread. Deacon Ed gave the best advice: talk to your priest!

I don’t think it’s a good idea to baptize the baby without the father’s knowledge. He should be aware, especially since you go to the same parish. If he doesn’t want to attend, that’s his loss, but he should know.

You are Catholic and you are the Parent, you can present your child for Baptism. Ask your pastor to recomend someone from the parish to be the Godparent.

The father of your baby STILL has a legal responsibility to help support his offspring.

Yeah sorry I am really more concerned about finding a god-parent, I didn’t mean to start blabbing. I shouldn’t worry about the situation with the father right now. But I will definitely consult my priest about it. I’m actually seeing my parish priest tomorrow for a confession (had to schedule it because I kept putting it off every saturday :o). So maybe I can ask him afterwards? He might be busy so I dunno…I could always schedule another appointment…

The father of your baby STILL has a legal responsibility to help support his offspring.

This is a topic for another thread (sorry I shouldn’t have posed two questions in one!) but yeah there’s nothing I can say at this point to encourage him to take responsibility. What happens from now on is completely his decision.

Ask him right after your confession is completed.

Watch at Mass, notice a family who stands out to you, or that single person who shines with the love of Jesus? After Mass, talk to them - tell them that you are looking for a godparent and wonder if they would be interested.

Another idea, talk to the RCIA team who helped you on your search, your sponsor as well… God will provide!

not bad but also not necessary to wait. you can take the pre-baptismal classes before he is born (much easier than trying to tote a wee one) and arrange for baptism at the earliest opportunity after he is born. If you have no one to ask to serve as a godparent make this known to the pastor and he can appoint someone.

the bigger issue is dealing with all the other ramifications of your situation, making sure you have the help and support you need for your care and the baby’s before, during and after delivery. If you have not told your own family, do it now, and yes you owe it to the baby’s father to tell him and open the door to his involvement. This is not about his mother, it is about him. He was man enough to father a child, he must be man enough to face the consequences. If you are having trouble getting medical care and other assistance you need, your parish and diocese have means to help in that way, so do speak to your pastor.

If marriage was ever part of the plan, get pastoral counselling for both of you. Depending on the circs–and if you are not even communicating that is not a good sign-- you will doubtless be counselled to wait until after the child is born and assisted to discern your readiness for the permanent commitment of marriage.

you know of course you have a whole prayer network of support here on CAF

that is good advice above, talk to your RCIA sponsor or team, they will be willing and wanting to help and can serve as or recommend a godparent

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