Is it better to be celibate all your life / never marry?


#1

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from Scritpure and experience (plust the things the Church teaches, etc…) i have concluded that it is best to live a celibate, unmarried life…

more married men are into porn than single men (according to something i read that i can’t recall right now)… more married men molest children… and married men probably do the impure act w/ self thing more than single men but no statistics on that.

sex just leads to more desire for sex and yet, as those who long to make it to Heavne, we are to be focused on being purifed so we can get there… . where no impure thing will enter(Rev 21:27)…

Jesus said it was difficult to get to Heaven… i think that if we can live without sex, it may be a shorter time we spend in Purgatory… whether that purgatory is on Earth and/or after this life. Sex is SO over-rated… at least illicit non-marital sex is…


#2

Is it better to be celibate all your life / never marry?

YES :doh2:


#3

It is better to do what God has called you to do…

If God called you to marriage, it is most likely you are also called to be a father. The world need good Christian fathers… Most of the perverted practices you outlined were because the boys didn’t have a good male role model (like Dad) when growing up.

If God called you to a single celibate life, then there are many possible roads he may be calling you to follow… Religious life is just one of the many possibilities.

Listen to God… The world needs both married and celibate men… I don’t think either is better…


#4

No, it is not necessarily better to remain celibate all one’s life or not marry. All we are called to do in life is the will of God, and God wills different things from each of us. This is one’s particular calling in life - or their vocation.

Some have a vocation to marriage, some to be single and others to serve God as a religious. No vocation is better than another - how can they be since they all come from the same perfect source, God. None of these vocations are easy and none are without their temptations and occasions for falling into grave sin.

You say that more married men molest children [than unmarried men]. This may indeed be true, but this is not the fault of marriage. They do not become child molestors or paedophiles because they chose to get married. It is a well known fact for example, that paedophiles seek out situations where they will have easy access to children - one such situation could be marriage.

Marriage is indeed a sacred calling - you will see from the first pages of Scripture that God willed man and woman to be joined together in matrimony. I don’t see that the Gospels are anti-marriage: Matthew’s gospel for example supports it - “what God has joined together, let no man put asunder”. If one truly has a vocation to be married, then God will support what he has willed for the persons concerned. Temptations - such as being unchaste (which you mention i.e. pornography, impure actions) - will often be present. However, that’s what happens when one does the will of God - the tempter is always lying in wait to throw such people off the holy path to God.

Finally, if Christ didn’t think marriage was such a good idea, then I wonder why he didn’t put an end to the marriage feast at Cana by refusing to perform a miracle which would prolong the marriage celebrations…


#5

I don’t know, I think God calls us to different things.


#6

He knows that path our lives are meant to take, be it pursuing a vocation, family life, or whatever have you. The fault lies with us. Especially in this modern world it is very hard to sit still and really listen for His word within us. Fortunately we have the gift of prayer to communicate with Him, and He is very patient with us. When I pray, I admit to Him that I want to do different things, but I always try to end with “Your will be done, not mine,” because I want to do His will, after shunning Him and His love for so long. Whatever your road in life is meant to be, I am sure you will find it if you seek with an open heart.

~Joshua


#7

so have you been celibate all your life?? or it just SEEMs like it… :smiley:


#8

well, it depends on how the marriage and family life is going… a very holy marriage and family life is as good as the priesthood if that is what God wants… and who knows really waht crosses God wants us tocarry and which ones he wants us to run from :smiley:

i have never found my exact vocation, it seems… i thought God was calling me to marriage but i have not found anyone “worthy”… funny thing is, God seemsto be the one telling me no one is worthy… at the Real Presence, i get that feeling VERY strongly… but it isn’t because i am so holy and wonderful and the men i know (& like) are not. it is just that none of the men i know really cares to the level i think Jesus would like… none seem fanatical about Jesus as i am…

so i have been celibate many many years… i went through some times whne i hated it but now i don’t … because of the aforemtned stuff i feel i am getting from God… nice to know that you are in His will… even if your body is telling you it wants you to go in another direction… :o


#9

there is the passage about how it is better to be celibate so you cn spend your time and energy and resources on serving God, about how having a spouse causes you to think about spouse and not so much God (paraphrase, of course)… no Bible handy to find it…

i think very few should get married… the divorce rate will bear me out… I think thevery young and/or very un-corrupted should get married… and only when there is deep faith (same faith) in both spouses… Everyone else should be celibate… :smiley:

it is not easy or even simple sometimes working out your salvation with fear and trembling… another human being or human beings in your life impedes progress … or CAN…

although there are people in the world who actually HELP others do that rather than hinder…

I have nver found one… to spek of… except that all human enounters can help you now that i think about it… if nothing else they provide many crosses… and opprotunities to … become a better Christain… by, say, for example, giving you the chance to resist the urge to pound the crud out of someone becaue you know Jesus wouldn’t like it… :smiley:


#10

Heavens, not all married men are corrupt, molest children, watch porn, etc.

And seems to me that these same men who do these dispicable acts would do them regardless of their marital status.

I’m married to a wonderful man who can’t stand to smoosh a spider, much less harm anything else or himself or me.


#11

it’s best to do God’s will. If you’re called to marry, then marry. If you’re called to be celibate, then be celibate. It depends on what your vocation is. :slight_smile:


#12

i’m not sure i have ever known such a man… and if i did, i woudn’t be attracted to him… knowing me. :rolleyes:but then, who knows? i never get to know some of the men i am attracted to… long weird story…


#13

It’s best to be faithful to God and charitable to fellow men. Neither celibacy nor marriage precludes that, though I would put sacramental life above that of “undecided”.


#14

It is better to love God than it is to worry over your vocation, D.


#15

Dear Nick

This may help I hope. You need to read all.

1Cor.7

1] Now concerning the matters about which you wrote. It is well for a man not to touch a woman.
2] But because of the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
3] The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
4] For the wife does not rule over her own body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not rule over his own body, but the wife does.
5] Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreement for a season, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, lest Satan tempt you through lack of self-control.
6] I say this by way of concession, not of command.
7] I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own special gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
8] To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain single as I do.
9] But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion.
10] To the married I give charge, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not separate from her husband
11] (but if she does, let her remain single or else be reconciled to her husband) – and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
12] To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.
13] If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him.
14] For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise, your children would be unclean, but as it is they are holy.
15] But if the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so; in such a case the brother or sister is not bound. For God has called us to peace.
16] Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?
17] Only, let every one lead the life which the Lord has assigned to him, and in which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.
18] Was any one at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was any one at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision.
19] For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God.
20] Every one should remain in the state in which he was called.
21] Were you a slave when called? Never mind. But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.
22] For he who was called in the Lord as a slave is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a slave of Christ.
23] You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men.
24] So, brethren, in whatever state each was called, there let him remain with God.
25] Now concerning the unmarried, I have no command of the Lord, but I give my opinion as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
26] I think that in view of the present distress it is well for a person to remain as he is.
27] Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free. Are you free from a wife? Do not seek marriage.
28] But if you marry, you do not sin, and if a girl marries she does not sin. Yet those who marry will have worldly troubles, and I would spare you that.
29] I mean, brethren, the appointed time has grown very short; from now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none,
30] and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods,
31] and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the form of this world is passing away.
32] I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord;
33] but the married man is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please his wife,
34] and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman or girl is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about worldly affairs, how to please her husband.
35] I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
36] If any one thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry – it is no sin.
37] But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well.
38] So that he who marries his betrothed does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.
39] A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If the husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
40] But in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I have the Spirit of God.

God bless you and pray for me please:thumbsup::slight_smile:

John


#16

.

*i think it is best for women to stay celibate becaue when they marry they tend to worship their husbands and children… instead of God… (gen speaking)…

and plus Where could a good Catholic woman possibly find someone who is worthy?

men are strange… :o*


#17

Is this the Scripture passage you’re thinking of: Matthew 19: 8-12

“[Jesus] said to them, ‘Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits aduletery.’ His disciples said to him, ‘If that is the case of a man with his wife, is it better not to marry.’ He answered, ‘Not all can accept this word, but only those to whom that is granted. Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it.’”

  • From the mouth of the Lord Himself. The ability to live in the state of marriage is given to people by God - again, as I said earlier, marriage is a vocation. Christ obviously doesn’t see marriage as being inferior to religious life - he specifically mentions those who have renounced marriage, i.e. some people could have married and may well have been suited to marriage but they chose to serve God in a different but equally meritorious way.

I’m afraid I don’t quite get what you expect marriage to be. You seem to have some idea that marriage should always be a utopian state. The divorce rate really has nothing to do with the argument as to whether or not people should remain unmarried - indeed it shows, among other things, that marriages can fail, that people sometimes rush into marriage without proper preparation, or that people are more and more likely these days to seek a divorce rather than work through difficulties. The fact is - speaking from a religious (not civil) point of view - that marriage is created by God. It was willed by Him since the beginning of time. It is a sacrament through which the Lord showers loving couples with many graces. Sure, all marriages have their “crosses” which the persons concerned as individuals and as husband & wife have to bear, but in my opinion, one who knowingly ignored the vocation to which God was calling them would be bearing a far greater and burdensome cross.


#18

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