[quote="johnsmith2025, post:1, topic:278317"]
I was wondering, is it unusual to know of a couple who attends mass 2 or 3 times a week?
Some of my friends go on their own several times a week - their work allows, and they're able to fit it around family/kid schedules. We live in a town with 3 or 4 RC churches that seem to make the scheduling effort so most interested people can attend. Having said that, I would suspect that couples attending together during the week probably don't have kids or have older kids...even more likely, that the couple are retired and don't have to get to jobs, etc. Just a supposition.
So, while I'm still hoping to find those qualities in a woman, I also am hoping to find those qualities in a woman who will give me a push to go to church. The fact is that over the last year, I've lost my drive to attend. While I certainly did grow up Catholic, other things had taken my interest ( work and other such things ) and I had lost my desire to even attend church -- at first I would skip a week, and then it become 2 weeks, and so on.
That's why it's important to find a healthy energetic Catholic woman who has a good level of dedication to attending church. I want the woman I marry to be someone who doesn't feel bad about giving me that nudge at 6:00 AM on a Sunday to wake me up to get me going because of the importance of getting me to Sunday morning mass, and will also give me that same nudge on maybe Tuesdays and Thursdays as well.
Wow. Just, wow. OK - Let's start at the beginning. (Disclaimer: I'm not a member of your church, so let the more informed persons tweak this as appropriate!) Ask your priest about your future role as spiritual leader of your family. (Or ask the parish men's group. Or read about it on the CAF boards - I've noticed several threads.) Is this, your eternal salvation, an area you really want to be nudged & dragged about, tagging along whenever someone has the energy to pull you? Is that a good model for your family to emulate? Now is a good time to begin cultivating spiritual discipline, eh?
Second thing. You already have a Mom. Girls won't dig being your "other" Mom. My husband has to pick up his own socks, get his butt out of bed and contribute to the family without me nagging, whether that be via his work, spiritual activity, family chores or parenting time. Otherwise, it's just having another kid in the house...and as much as I love being Mom, if he ever acted/lived like one of the kids, he'd be grounded until Judgment Day. :P
Third thing. Why do you go to services at all? Ideally, the answer has something to do with loving God, desiring to be closer to Him, seeking spiritual sustenance. But as with all dangling carrots, there's the stick, too - for you, if you don't go just because no one nudged you out of bed & you don't feel like, it's a "mortal sin". (See your catechism for implications of the state of mortal sin. It ain't pretty.) There's something attractive about a person striving to do a little better than the "bare minimum acceptable performance", whether spiritually, in the family, career-wise, in charity, in ANY aspect of life. Just sayin'.
And when you consider your answer to me, if in your answer you are thinking about telling me how time constraints can keep a young woman from being able to go to mass 2 or 3 times per week, please keep in mind I do plan on fully providing for the woman ( wife ) in my life so she doesn't have to work, so she will have much more time to do the things she wants to do.
Ah, youth. I speak gently when I suggest that, at times, there may be things beyond your control. You may find career struggles, leaving her the sole provider (can I get an AMEN from the readers?!). Any number of problems can arise - health, career, children's issues....endless list. So having an "ideal picture" is good, but be prepared - I'm encouraging all of my kids to get a good education and have a career in mind...things can always be changed, but both the boys & the girls know they need to be prepared to take care of themselves and their families.
I guess my question is this - if you do not do these things already, for yourself, why is it a main item on your "potential mate checklist"? It's sort of like saying, "I could stand to lose 50lbs...so I want to marry a fitness guru to make me lose weight."
Honestly, I'd encourage you to talk with your priest or a wise spiritual advisor (on a regular basis, not just a one-off) to explore your own daily walk in faith. Are you on track with your personal faith life, your personal spending/budget, your personal career, your personal charitable acts/giving...and then start going where similarly-minded folks might be found. Parish/diocese young adult groups, charity activities, religious/social groups, even the parish softball team has potential. But keep in mind, the end-game is "working out your salvation". So keep your eye on THE goal.