I needed that. I knew that my negative thoughts were not good, I just didn’t know how to turn it all around. You have certainly given me ways of dealing with this without getting angry and as you point out: judging.
Thank you again. God Bless you.
Do not heap your troubles all on yourself. The devil tells lies and the world tells lies, and the lies are this: our worth comes from what money we make, our worth comes from what good we bring into the world, our worth comes from how hard we try.
This is all backwards. Our worth comes from our being beloved of God. We try hard, we bring good into the world, we do dignified labor because the grace of God flows through the Cross of Jesus to us. It is all Him. All we can lend is cooperation, and that, too, is His grace in the end.
When these thoughts come into your head, remember that you are being assaulted by the Liar, by the Accuser, and being encouraged to take up his evil work of spreading lies and accusations. I have found that the best way to combat this is to rejoice in the glory of God, to give thanks for His many wonderous works, for His generous mercy, for His rich kindness. Whenever you are accused about that empty spot inside you or inside others, remember that it is in those empty spots of poverty that God chooses to dwell. Do not let yourself be persuaded to fill them with useless things.
Also, do not forget the “help” prayers: Oh, God come to my assistance, Oh, Lord, make haste to help me. The Memorare. Then, no matter how you feel, return to praise and rejoicing. That is always the best. And for those you are tempted to accuse, put yourself with them in a bag, and pray the Our Father, asking forgiveness for all.
[quote=sanctareparata]It may not be a matter of grave sin, Island Oak, but it is a matter of common sense. Why would God desire you to have children just to hand them over as infants for someone else to raise? While I don’t have a problem with single parent families who HAVE to work and put their kids elsewhere, I DO have a problem with double parent families who 1. Won’t try a one-income situation to even see if it’s worth pursuing, 2. Don’t think it’s necessary to try and 3. Feel no guilt about not being home to raise their own kids. I get tired of hearing the “it’s better for the baby to be socialized” excuse and “well, we really need the added income for the second car.”
Your children are your responsibility, no one else’s, and God is not going to judge you on how much money you made for them, but how you raised them.
I know many families around here that work at minimum wage, have one income earner, and at least 3 kids. They make it just fine. It’s a matter of priorities.
Sorry, this is just one of my anger points.
It is hard to watch and think that children are being given the short end of the stick, but tread very carefully. Even a cursory reading of the red letters in the Gospels makes it quite clear how Our Lord felt about judging others.
If He told those who held stones for a woman caught in the act of adultery to hold their fire, how much less patience would He have for us who see fit to judge less serious faults–and I do not exempt myself from that group that judges, believe me!
If we stay at home “for our children” but give ourselves the permission to feel and act superior for having done it, it may well be that we’d be better off getting back into the work force in order to find a more humble soul to raise our children for at least part of their days. Just a thought. May the women who work, for whatever reason, who feel the burden of our judgement, keep us in their prayers, too.