[quote="ohioszo, post:4, topic:227414"]
I was just considering this the other day, while watching the March for Life. Girls, I'm one, do not understand boys. Boys know about condoms, and, it doesn't take but to check out the Internet to know that carrying condoms in one's billfold or bag, for a man, is now considered civil talk. Back then, it was done, but hidden ... and, a girl may like to know why a fellow hesitates to offer his billfold to her! It is disgusting, and one can talk to their daughters about these disgusting things, if they like....My nephew was born in the late 1970s, despite me suggesting to his mother that she not get impregnated by her alcoholic, philandering husband. He, suggested she abort their son! The man should be glad to be alive with two Catholics and such advice.... I agree with warning daughters about men, in general, or I guess, Protestant men.
A non-Catholic friend of mine worked for a condom manufacturer and bemoaned the fact that young men like those you talked to do not seem to realize that condoms are like milk...they do go bad and they go bad faster if you carry them around in your wallet. So anyone who is going to tell young women about young men who carry condoms around in their wallets had better tell them that those are some young men with more bad intentions than good sense.
I think it is important for young people to know that it is not only the people with obviously bad intentions that can pose a threat to their chastity. Good people who have every intention to remain chaste fail because they think "nice" people won't do that. Well, very nice people who are nuts for each other do it all of the time, even when neither party had intended it, and, as far as intentions go, Juliet was right: "Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say ‘Ay’; and I will take thy word. Yet, if thou swear'st, thou mayst prove false. At lovers’ perjuries, they say Jove laughs." (Act II, Scene II)
Young people need to know that not just scoundrels and Jezebels but also "nice" well-intentioned people, young and old, have been known to lie like rugs when they're in love. They lie to their lovers, they lie to themselves, they lie to other people, they say and think the best no matter what their own eyes, ears, and brain could scream at them, if they wanted to hear it. They take chances that a riverboat gambler wouldn't touch. It is the self-deceit that is usually laid on the thickest, but never intending to hurt someone you love doesn't make the consequences any easier to bear. The glamour of evil is never more alluring than when one is in the throes of romance, and a person is rarely more vulnerable to the Prince of Lies. If you don't understand this, it is unlikely that you're going to submit to the kind of chaperoned situations that are prudent for unmarried people in love to confine themselves to. That has taken tragic turns more than once.
Just by the way, if a Catholic finds himself or herself married to a philandering spouse, it is allowed under canon law for the offended spouse to bar his or her wayward partner from conjugal life thereafter. It should be remembered, though, that once the wayward spouse is re-admitted to conjugal life, that the marital debt remains. The offending spouse does not have the option of taking them back, but holding that over their heads forever. That may have nothing to do with your relatives' situation, but it was something I did not know:
Can. 1152 §1. Although it is earnestly recommended that a spouse, moved by Christian charity and concerned for the good of the family, not refuse forgiveness to an adulterous partner and not disrupt conjugal life, nevertheless,** if the spouse did not condone the fault of the other expressly or tacitly, the spouse has the right to sever conjugal living unless the spouse consented to the adultery, gave cause for it, or also committed adultery.**
**§2. Tacit condonation exists if the innocent spouse has had marital relations voluntarily with the other spouse after having become certain of the adultery. It is presumed, moreover, if the spouse observed conjugal living for six months and did not make recourse to the ecclesiastical or civil authority.
§3. If the innocent spouse has severed conjugal living voluntarily, the spouse is to introduce a cause for separation within six months to the competent ecclesiastical authority which, after having investigated all the circumstances, is to consider carefully whether the innocent spouse can be moved to forgive the fault and not to prolong the separation permanently. **
Can. 1153 §1. If either of the spouses causes grave mental or physical danger to the other spouse or to the offspring or otherwise renders common life too difficult, that spouse gives the other a legitimate cause for leaving, either by decree of the local ordinary or even on his or her own authority if there is danger in delay.
§2. In all cases, when the cause for the separation ceases, conjugal living must be restored unless ecclesiastical authority has established otherwise.
Can. 1154 After the separation of the spouses has taken place, the adequate support and education of the children must always be suitably provided.
Can. 1155 The innocent spouse laudably can readmit the other spouse to conjugal life; in this case the innocent spouse renounces the right to separate.