Is it moral to be friends with lesbians?

Hey Guys,
Just wanted to ask your opinion on something and to determine whether or not it is morally right.
I have two close friends whom I really love and respect, They have been good to me and have helped me through some of the darkest moments of my life. They even attend Mass and devotions, they don’t drink or smoke and they are very mannerly. The problem is that they are in a Lesbian relationship together, They know my opinion on the matter and that as a Catholic I cannot condone their actions and support the continuation of their relationship. They know that I oppose them adopting children or getting married, in other words my opinion is known loud & clear. However there is another side too, must we not Love the Sinner and Hate the Sin, I mean who am I to judge their choices and preferences, I have sinned too and am no saint but I wanted to know can a Catholic be morally justified by remaining friends with Homosexuals who are engaged in a Homosexual relationship considering what our Church teaches about such things?

Do you have divorced and remarried friends? Do you have friends who use contraception? Do you have friends who have sex outside of marriage? I find it impossible to limit my social contacts to those who follow Church teaching because very few people do.

Friendship can be a way to reach people with the Gospel so it is a good thing. However, there is something to be said for stopping watching TV shows in which people have immoral relationships.

my thoughts exactly!

Um, well yes unless you support them to be married/ intimate physical contact. Since the Catechism says that being a homosexual is cool but, you should strive to be chaste as to be in accordance with natural law.

I agree with the previous posters, it is fine to be friends with them.

I agree completely (on the being friends with lesbians).

On the TV shows… it’s one reason why I gave up watching TV years ago.

We really should love the sinner and hate the sin. Except that the sin we should really hate is our own sin. It’s the only sin we have some kind of control over. Perhaps if our friends see us struggling to live by Gospel values, they will come to see the benefit as well. We all have our own struggles with sin, and our own blindness to our sin which we try to mask or justify.

Nothing teaches like walking the walk.

Being friends with lesbians is amoral in nature, meaning that it is neither right/wrong. It can become good when you inspire your friend to become a better person or Christian. It can become immoral/ bad if the opposite happens or she influences to do immoral things.

  1. We are all sinners.
  2. We are to love all sinners because Jesus loves us all
  3. Jesus hung out with all types of sinners (tax collectors, prostitutes, hypocrites etc)
    Jesus came for the sinner. If you are a good representation of Jesus, you can help out many people who are lost.

If Jesus hung out with all kinds of sinners, there is no reason as to why you should not. But also remember Jesus was/is perfect, and we are not. If they are influencing you to do wrong/immoral things, and you are consenting to it, then at that point it would be a sin.

Yes, it is okay, and I would add to what has been already said that St. Paul wrote that if we were to completely disassociate ourselves from sinners, we would have to remove ourselves from the world. See I Cor. 5:9-13.

Hello Everybody,
I have a new question for you all, My friends placed an interesting question to me today and it has caught me on a sort of theological blind spot! Considering that the Church defines civil marriages as invalid even between heterosexual couples, why does it care if nation states offer marriage or civil unions to gay people since the state can marry dogs for all its worth in the eyes of God? I could not answer them!
Also, Thanks for the posts. I love this forum and the help that it offers!

Civil marriages between not-Catholic couples are not “invalid”. They are valid natural marriages, but are not sacramental marriages. The Church cannot and does not impose Canon Law on non-Catholics. If non-Catholics (not baptized) are in a natural non-sacramental marriage, it becomes sacramental if and when both become baptized.

Same-sex “marriage” attempts to redefine a natural union, replacing it with an unnatural union.

I should add “if and when they become baptized if there are no impediments.”

Is it moral to be friends with people who live contrary to the Catholic faith? Yes!

PS Missionaries cannot possibly convert people to Christ without first being friends to the people. :slight_smile:

Jesus came for the sinner. I don’t know depends on what you call sinner. Of course that’s the way its turned out. “He came unto his own and his own received him not.” The non-jew would have to wait for something else from god if the Jews accepted Jesus as they should have. Remember the woman wanting healing and he called her a dog? It’s kind of a moot point though now.

Hey billcu, why did Jesus our God come down on earth as a human then? If Jesus did not come to call all sinners to repentance and turn them to God’s love, I don’t know what he came for then. Why did Jesus die for us anyways, is it not because He was the ultimate sacrifice to our sin- which was/is punishable by death.

Regarding the woman who wanted healing and Jesus calls her a dog. It’s a challenging verse I must say. We live in a time when we must always be “politically correct”…Jesus was not one of them. By “dog” he did not literally mean to disgrace or shame her directly. I know, you will probably ask, well how is that so? I did a little bit of research and found that “dog” was usually referred to Gentiles, as “dog” symbolized the “ungodly” and immoral actions most were committing. Was Jesus challenging that woman? I am not sure. I know for sure that Jesus stayed silent for a bit. Was Jesus challenging her faith?** I think so…** right after she answers him “Yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters table” He immediately replies, “o woman, how great is your faith”
I think that A) Jesus’ motto was not to please everyone B) Jesus’ silence to the woman is an example of God sometimes “testing” our faith. Best response I can think of is that Jesus perhaps appears to neglect her, only to eventually test her faith. I would not argue that Jesus intended to call her that name and neglect her, otherwise why would he immediately praise her faith and heal her daughter?

With respect to your statement/argument that the gentiles would have to wait for something else from God, I would like to leave off with this question…
What “group” of people actually killed Jesus?
I would argue that Jesus perhaps limited himself only to the Jews, because He knows that our salvation can only be fulfilled with His death.
What do you think?
God bless you :slight_smile:

My goodness. I’m friends with lawyers.

You don’t think a lesbian isn’t deserving of your acquaintanceship? Christ didn’t think that about Mary Magdalene or any of the multitude of sinners he met in His daily life.


This puts it all into perspective!

I just wish to make absolutely clear that I wouldn’t consider anyone unworthy of my friendship, I can assure you of that.

I have a couple of gay friends, and as a chaste single I like to think I can influence them to see the value in chastity. If I show them there is joy and peace of mind in a chaste life, then maybe they’ll come around.

I don’t really say anything, I think it was St. Francis who said “Preach the Gospel constantly. When necessary, use words.” I just try to set a good example and be a good friend.

One of them is starting to see the light. And the other one is HIV-positive, so he could really use a sympathetic friend…

Very well stated and I agree with you

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