Is it narcissistic/ sin that

Good day,
Is it a sin or narcissistic of me to avoid going to church regularly since my confirmation in 2017 solely because I hate my appearance and going out?

I won’t speak to whether it is narcissistic of you, but it is certainly sinful to miss mass on Sunday and holy days of obligation.

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By choosing to set how you feel when going out to a higher standard than the body of Christ itself seems more selfish than narcissistic.

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Do whatever it takes to get to mass.
Do whatever it takes to deal with your feelings.

In that order.

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“Sinful” means “Missing the Mark” of what we are about as Catholics; we are made Catholic to offer Sacrifice with Jesus. He said that night, “I have desired with Great Desire to eat this Passover with you.” He did not say, “I have desired to eat this Passover by myself, nor with just some of you.”

We sacrifice the passover with him, the Last Supper; we are literally taking part in that night with him, that night is “Re-Present”. We do not commune weekly; we commune One Time, always Re-Present on that one night with him. We cannot afford to miss the Mass for which we were made Catholic, we were made his Disciples who watch with him, eat with him, die with him, rise with him. If your appearance bothered him, he would not have allowed his servants to grant you confirmation and the Holy Spirit. But since he gave you his Spirit you must do this.

If you hate your appearance so much that you want to avoid going out, including avoiding church, this is more a mental health issue than a sin issue. It sounds like this goes way beyond just wanting to avoid a social occasion because you have bad skin or you weren’t able to get your hair done. This sounds quite debilitating. I think you should seek professional help.

I agree that this sounds like a mental health issue. Consider seeking professional help.

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Do you go to other places but not Mass?

Only if necessary

Unless you have a serious reason, or in my case the obligation is dispensed (I went last week anyway, and will probably go tomorrow) you must go to Mass on Sundays as an obligation, full stop.

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It is not a serious enough reason so yes it is gravely sinful.

Stop and think about it OP, what did Jesus look like when He hung on the cross? He did that for me and for you!

@Anonymous9, please talk to a health professional about this. You deserve to live your life to the full, not be so anxious about your appearance that you can’t go out.

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Go, and offer up this difficulty, this cross, for those in purgatory or perhaps to Mary for her to use as needed. Doing so have great merit, and be an act of love beyond what most of us do when we attend.

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Please get some help from a mental health provider.

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You are NOT your looks.

Ascension Presents recently did a video about this:

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Look up Father Mike’s video on “Vanity” on YouTube. Gives an alternative definition that I never thought of (caring too much what others think).

I wouldn’t say it is narcissistic. But missing the mass is a sin. And you’re missing out on something great!

Honestly, no one is looking at your outer appearance and judging you like you judge yourself. We can be our own worst critics! But God designed you and made you and I’m sure he feels bad that you are not attended mass because of your appearance.

PLEASE get some counseling to help with your self-esteem. This is an issue that many struggle with and a therapist could very well help with this and change your outlook.

Keep praying and I will pray for you too :slight_smile: it is a great thing to return back to mass and it’s never too late. You could always go at one of the odd times when less people are there. And you can sit in the back. At least until you can work through these issues and then you won’t care what time you go or where you sit (hopefully)!

Oh wow I actually just included that in my comment too! Wonderful video pertaining to this

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“Not being pretty enough” is not a grave enough reason to miss Mass.

There is a mental health issue (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) where the sufferer firmly believes they are incredibly hideous although they look normal with no deformities.
In general this goes hand in hand with agoraphobia and they won’t leave the house for any reason.
It can be treated.

If you have a health condition and you’re working diligently with your practitioner, contact your priest to explain the situation.

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