[quote="Anglico, post:1, topic:296056"]
I am Catholic woman, separated for two years, and I have a friend, same age (mid 30's) who is a Catholic Priest. He often sends me trivial texts throughout the day, and asks me to dinner and movies on a regular basis. Sometimes several times in a single week. I keep declining the movie offers, but have meet for dinner or lunch on occasion. Should I be concerned about this behavior or is this acceptable for a priest? Also is it acceptable for me to join him for dinner or movie? What is the position of the church on this?
Another recent example, Just this week I had some female friends visit from out of town and once he found out where we were going, he ended up tagging along with us to a late dinner (10pm) at a high end restaurant immediately after their arrival. Not much time alone with them to catch up before he was in the picture. The next day, my friends and I traveled to a beach resort about an hour away. He had been texting throughout the day and once he knew which resort we were staying at he asked if it would be ok for him to come there too. It was after this that I really started to get annoyed at his texting and behavior. It seems innocent, as if he just wants to hang out as friends, our conversations when we do talk are never romantic, usually trivial stuff, about work, and sometimes my personal life and situation with my family. I have no romantic feelings or interest in him in any way. Just starting to wonder if he has other motives as it is becoming a bit much at this point. What should I do on my end? I know there are a lot of questions, but I am starting to get a little confused by his actions.
I think he is lonely especially if he is alone in the parish (the job of priest is emotionally draining).
[quote="Brooklyn, post:3, topic:296056"]
No, it is not okay. You are both still bound to your vows. You are still married to your husband and the priest is married to the church.
[quote="aicirt, post:6, topic:296056"]
I too think he is lonely and it appears he has a lot of time on his hands.
He's a priest married to the Church and you are a separated and, therefore, still married woman. I can understand the movie thing if he were interested in seeing FOR THE GREATER GLORY and you, he and some others all went to the dinner and the show. That, to me, is appropriate. I can't imagine too many other appropriate movies. :shrug:
He maybe naive. He maybe oblivious to causing scandal for him and you. In this day and age, this is not good. This would be something bishops should be handling with yearly reminders as to the proper conduct a priest must exhibit to protect themselves and their laity.
Priests should be invited to dinner by their married parishoners. It is the charitable thing to do. Also include them in bridge etc. You could encourage your priest friend to establish a club for single, divorced, or widowed men in the parish. This will give him friends to do things with too.
where do people get this idea?
[quote="Dorothy, post:7, topic:296056"]
I do believe that this priest needs prayers to be totally absorbed in his priesthood, and that he allow his time to be occupied in his priestly ministry.
the job of priest is emotionally draining
[quote="1inICXC, post:9, topic:296056"]
Spending half hour in the coonfessional is ne thing. That's where the priest should be. Not tagging along at high end restaurants and beach resorts.
For the OP, no, this is not ok. A person who gave his life over o God should be VERY busy. If nothing about his interests, there certainly is something to be said about his idle time!
He probably is very busy, would you rather the priest engages in substance abuse than have a friend?
[quote="lizaanne, post:10, topic:296056"]
A priest must always be conscious of the possibility of scandal if he is seen on a regular basis with the same woman out for what could appear to others as a "date". We can say that it's none of anyone's business, but when he put on the collar, how he conducts his life is very much other people's business, because he is a visual representation of the Church to all who see him - Catholic and non-Catholic.
It is not appropriate for him to be hanging around with a bunch of women, and especially one woman on a regular basis.
Yes - life as a priest can be lonely. If that's the case, and he has so much time on his hands that he can run off to dinners and movies multiple times during the week (I have never met such a priest, and I know plenty) - then he really needs to find something else to do with his time, such as assist at another parish, open his confessional more, add more Masses to his schedule, go on a retreat, etc. Something that will enrich his vocation and lead him to holiness.
As for the OP - I would tell Father that you are not comfortable with all the attention, and that you feel it is in the best interest of both of you to not spend so much time together. An occasional meal with friends is one thing, but going out to movies and dinner alone is just not appropriate.
lets look at scandal
priest is with minor a lot, OMG child molester
priest is with one woman a lot, OMG unfaithful priest
pries is with a group of women a lot, OMG gay
priest is with one man a lot, OMG gay
priest is with a group of men a lot, OMG why isn't he dedicating his life to God.
Haters gonna hate