Is it ok to think about sex?

I am a nineteen year old single girl. I have never had sex. I know it’s wrong to masterbate, but is it wrong for me to daydream about having sex? Usually the thoughts come up when I don’t have much else to distract myself with, like if I’m in the car with nothing to do or something. I find it hard to distract myself with other thoughts when I start thinking about this inadvertently.

There’s nothing wrong with you, but you should get married. “It is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

It’s natural, everyone does it, I think. Just don’t obsess over it! :slight_smile:

Deliberate sexual thoughts or holding on to sexual thoughts is a sin.
You might want to talk to a priest. God bless you.

Yes please do talk to a priest, go to confession if you deliberately think about it. There probably are confessions available somewhere near you on Holy Saturday? Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be all clean and clear about this before Easter?
If the thoughts just come, that is something different, but I believe it is sinful to entertain them, to hold on to them and not try to stop them immediately when they come.

But please do talk to a priest he can tell you much better.

Also tell him you didn’t know or weren’t sure the thoguhts were sinful, that probably affects the severity of the sinfulness of it as well… But he can tell you that much better than me, as I said.

A thought:
There are so many other beautiful things to think about; what things in life do you love doing? What blessings has God given you? What good things are happening to you or might happen to you?
There are so many other things to think about, and when thoughts that lead you to sin come, to pray is also a very good thing. To talk to God.

Please do not be upset or sad about this; I know it is probably confsuing and difficult.
But think about how wonderful it is to have a clean conscience and to really keep sexuality holy and not something to fantasize about?
But as I said alreadxy a few times (I am so afraid I might say something wrong here; I tend to be very scrupulous) do tlak to a priest please. :))



Why is masturbation a sin? Isn’t it a form of abstinence?

Are nocturnal emissions considered a sin in Catholic teachings?

Masturbation is 100% not a form of abstinence. It is a gravely sinful sexual act. It perverts the mind. It is offensive to God. By masturbating, one is abusing the body, by disrespecting God’s intentions for it.

That’s a bit hyperbolic isn’t it?

I respect your opinion, but do you have a Biblical quote that specifically references masturbation (I never looked into it).

Sex is only allowed when it’s open to life and done in a marriage consecrated by God (holy matrimony). Everything outside what I just described is a sin.

Ejaculation when one is asleep, I think, is not considered sinful, but IMO it should be. When I’m in anightmare and I’m scared, I can push past the paralysis of sleep and wake up. If I have an erotic dream, if I will it, i can make myself wake up. Nobody, IMO, ejaculates unwillingly.

Nocturnal emissions are not sinful, the Church teaches in order to sin, you must have the free will to choose.


That we need an explicit biblical quote to back up all of our beliefs is a Protestant idea. We, as Catholics, believe that Scripture, Tradition, and the teachings of the Church to be equally infallible.

I understand, I think. You are asking, I believe, if masturbation isn’t an acceptable way to express one’s sexual needs since it may help one to avoid illicit sexual intercourse?

Actually, it isn’t. Both are wrong. Neither of them occur within normal conjugal relations. Also, an immoral act cannot be used to achieve a good end.

There is no scriptural reference that specifically names it.

Persona Humana:
Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics
Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith
December 29, 1975

…Both the Magisterium of the Church–in the course of a constant tradition-- and the moral sense of the faithful have declared without hesitation that masturbation is an intrinsically and seriously disordered act.[19] The main reason is that, whatever the motive for acting this way, the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside normal conjugal relations essentially contradicts the finality of the faculty. For it lacks the sexual relationship called for by the moral order, namely the relationship which realizes “the full sense of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love.”[20] All deliberate exercise of sexuality must be reserved to this regular relationship. Even if it cannot be proved that Scripture condemns this sin by name, the tradition of the Church has rightly understood it to be condemned in the New Testament when the latter speaks of “impurity,” “unchasteness” and other vices contrary to chastity and continence.

Nocturnal emissions are a totally different thing. They are involuntary. Only deliberate stimulation is culpable.

Here is a thorough explanation:

Very natural to start thinking about sex at your age. Your hormonal levels have much to do with sometimes obsessive thoughts in this direction. Sinning comes into it when you purposefully attempt to arouse yourself.
I think a lot of people get too worried about sinning in normal thought patterns about a boy they may like or talk about with their girl friends.
Don’t over think normal emotions that are perfectly normal and innocent.
If we were not naturally attracted to the other gender, and go out dating to find a suitable partner in life our population would decrease etc. God wants us to maintain sexual relations within marriage so as not to degrade its value in creating family and a healthy society.
Uncontrolled sex is easily seen as against natural law from just looking around at its consequences in our society now.

New Catholic Encyclopedia:

“What takes place spontaneously during sleep cannot involve guilt. Furthermore, generally speaking, when one is in a sleepy state of just having wakened on trying to get to sleep, his acts will hardly be fully deliberate. There is a natural interplay of sexual stimulation and phantasm or imagination that can easily lead to spontaneous and involuntary actions by the process known to psychologists as ideomotion. Serious sin must always involve a fully deliberate choice of what one fully realizes to be seriously wrong. Such a choice is not easily presumed to be that of anyone who wants to love and serve God.”

Genesis 38:8-10 – “Then Judah said to Onan, ‘Lie with your brother’s wife and fulfill your duty to her as a brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother.’ But Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so whenever he lay with his brother’s wife he spilled his semen on the ground to keep from producing offspring for his brother. What he did was wicked in the Lord’s sight; so he put him to death also.”

Psalm 119:35-37 – “Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight. Turn my heart toward your statues and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word.”

1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1 Peter 2:11 - Dearly beloved, I beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Galatians 5:19-- Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are [these]; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5, 3 For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:

Where we go, and what we do, will greatly influence our state-of-mind. And, what we choose to focus our precious attention on today will greatly affect what we think and do tomorrow, and whom we become the day after. So, be wise, and aim for Heaven by focusing your attention on the love of God!

LOVE! :heart:

Masturbation is not a grave sin. It’s not even mentioned in the bible. And sex is not just for procreation, for Christ’s sake. People here seem to think sex is something from the devil.

You should read what the Catechism says about it.; scroll to 2352.

Actually…sex IS just for procreation for Christ’s sake! The “people here”, by and large, believe in the Church’s authority to guide us on this issue of faith and morals. While we may have doubts we strive to fulfill or duty to obey the teachings of our Church.

Chastity is the teaching of the Catholic Church. As a Catholic we are bound to obey the teaching of our Church on this subject.

There are vast numbers of things not “specifically” mentioned in the bible that are nonetheless sinful and often unlawful- check kiting, stalking, vandalism, abandonment, tax fraud, animal abuse… However, all of these are covered under one or another of the commandments.

Please review:

CCC: II. The Vocation to Chastity

Offenses against chastity

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."137 **“The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose.” **For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."138

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It **offends against chastity **because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other.

2355 Prostitution does injury to the dignity of the person who engages in it, reducing the person to an instrument of sexual pleasure. the one who pays sins gravely against himself: he violates the chastity to which his Baptism pledged him and defiles his body, the temple of the Holy Spirit.


2037 The law of God entrusted to the Church is taught to the faithful as the way of life and truth. The faithful therefore have the right to be instructed in the divine saving precepts that purify judgment and, with grace, heal wounded human reason.79 They have the duty of observing the constitutions and decrees conveyed by the legitimate authority of the Church. Even if they concern disciplinary matters, these determinations call for docility in charity.

We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.
-The Imitation of Christ, Book 1, Chapter 13

LOVE! :heart:

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit