Is it ok to think about sex?

Objectively, masturbation is a grave sin. Subjectively, freedom can be inhibited so it may not be mortal in some circumstances, but it’s best not to take chances.

Because concupiscence very easily leads people away from God, the Church is always careful in how it advises in this realm. The Church teaches that sex is both unitive and procreative, but that it can’t properly be either of those in exclusivity from each other. In other words, if not procreative it is not unitive. No need to delve into the evidence for the truth of that here except that divorce rates in the US are at 51 percent; divorce rates for NFP couples are less than 3 percent, outside of the statistical margin for error.

So sex is not just for procreation, but it cannot be unifying without being ordered to it. Sex is a glorious thing (I love it!) and is much more beautiful when following Church dictates because it promotes personalism and virtue, as opposed to utilitarianism and selfish gratification.


Your spontaneous thoughts are probably ok (and normal). Just don’t dwell on them and confess them in case there may be lust associated with them. If they are sinful, God’s grace will purify them through confession.

And catholics certainly do not believe that sex is something from the devil. Sex is something very holy and special, and to be reserved for a married man and woman. (Isn’t it so that the church does say it is also an expression of love and giving to each other and binding between a MARRIED man and woman, besides simply for fornication?

Go to 2363 on my above link to the Catechism…


Kathrin, I didn’t say anything about sex outside marriage or premarital sex, I just questioned the notion that sex must always be open to procreation. Are you married? How many kids do you have? I assume that if you don’t have lots of kids, you are being a hypocrite (if you can’t use any kind of birth control than you must have lots of kids).

Ok, I see what you mean, and yes, of course, sex has that effect :).

And no, I am not married, and I don’t have any kids because I don’t have a husband and I really do believe in waiting until you’re married. I might never get married but I think I can well live chastely if I don’t. :slight_smile:

A hypocrite is someone who says one thing while doing another. This insult is inappropriatly applied to someone who is living what they teach faithfully but not perfectly. (Name calling is likewise uinappropriate and unchristian).

Even married couples can and do choose periodic abstinence to help regulate the size of their family if it becomes necessary. Also, when diligently followed NFP has none of the negative side efects of the Pill and requires no artificial means. It has a reliability rate of 99% (1 pregnancy per 100 women) when used properly (education, faithful adherence and type of NFP can reduce this to 25 per 100, but this is due to human error, not the method itself).

0-1 pregnancy per 100 women per year, PP
NFP used properly (1/100 NHS, no data PP)
IUD (0.2-0.8/100 CDC)
Implant (0.05/100 CDC)

2-9 pregnancies per 100 women per year, PP
shot ( 6 per 100 CDC),
pill (9 per 100 per CDC),
ring (9/100 CDC),
patch (9/100 CDC)

15-24 pregnancies per 100 women per year, PP
diaphragm ( 12/100 CDC),
male condom(18/100 CDC) ,
female condom(21/100 CDC),
withdrawl (no data CCD),
sponge (no data CDC),
cervical cap: (12/100 CDC)

25 or more pregnancies per 100 women per year, PP
spermacide ( 28/100 CDC)
NFP used improperly 25/100 CDC)

PP stats come from Planned Parenthood, not exactly a bastion of Christian morality!

During the more than 10 years that I used NFP, we had three wonderful kids. With 5 year gaps between children I would call it highly successful!

It’s ok, I am glad I could answer showing I am not a hypocrite; maybe that helps put a better light on these Catholic teachings :=))).

I’m weird, period. But i’m also weird in that when I have a nighmare, I may be scared as hell, but I know that this is just a dream, from which I try with all the will I can muster to wake up, I’m like a paralyzed person who gets a little movement going and when that happens I wake up. Erotic dreams I had very few in my life, I’m pretty positive I could end it with will-power, just like I do with troubling dreams. So even if I had quite a few of these dreams, I couldn’t possibly be off the hook guilt-wise. I understand it may be different for other folks.

It’s great if you can somehow retrain yourself, but what you describe occurs after the fact, after your conscious mind recognizes what is happening. However, the origination of the dream or nocturnal omission is non-voluntary and begun without your full knowledge. That means that it is not sinful in and of itself.

Now, if you could learn to stop it and chose not to do so, or actively participated once you became aware that would be a different matter all together.

Read my post number 15 on this thread.

I always think about having sex but I am married and can have sex.

If you are single it may be better not to think about it as it can lead to trouble.

Yes -such are grave matter for mortal sin. (sexual relations are for the married)

If such thoughts happen to one -do not consent and turn to something else.

As to unwanted thoughts that happen to one:

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