Is it ok to want to date only thin girls?

I hope I don’t offend any wonderful, awesome women in this post. However, I struggle being hard on myself about being attracted to a future girlfriend. I’m worried I’ll see that she’ll be pretty and actually an awesome person, but worry about her being heavy or eventually gaining weight. Should I put that aside given anyone can gain weight? (which im not too worried about if its years into marrige). But I really want at least the dating/falling in love/newlywed days to be very special. And I’m afraid weight would negatively affect that.

To clarify, I have several friends who are good looking who happen to date girls I’m not attracted to, and they’re very happy. So that’s friggin’ awesome.

However, I can’t help but only seeing myself with a thin, pretty girl to fall in love with. Is this selfish?

Selfish? Perhaps. Immature? I’m afraid so. :wink:

When you meet the right girl you won’t care about such things. So, don’t limit your friendships or dating by such a shallow criteria.

And if you are lucky enough to find a good gal to marry and she gains weight during and after bearing your children, treat her with love and respect and not by some fantasy idea about what she should look like.

If you treat a woman right, she’ll be beautiful, not only in your eyes, but in hers as well.

It sounds like you’re saying that I should never be sexually attracted to her. I don’t think the Church promotes that

Sexual attraction isn’t deciding ahead of time what type of girl (as if she were a car instead of a person) you’ll date. It’s meeting one who attracts you, even if she isn’t as thin as you’d like her to be. Of course it’s fine to be attracted to some people over others. I’m saying to think that only a thin girl could be a good choice for your future wife is immature. Think a bit more about all the qualities you want in a wife, not just the physical ones. And while you’re at it, think about the qualities you bring as a husband. Do you measure up to what a good woman wants? How about your physical appearance? You see what I mean–it goes both ways.

I’m sorry for being shallow. It’s no suprise given certain addictions I very much struggle with. I probably don’t want to face the reality thatit needs to be in check before I seriously date for the first time. I’m sorry for sounding immature. I’ve never been in a real relationship so I am clueless about these things.

Plus, I definatly want a classy virtuious girl with a great head on her shoulders. Thats very important to me. Thank you for taking the time to respond. It means a lot

You’re welcome. :slight_smile: Yes, it’s best to have your life in order before bringing another person into it. As you indicated, it’s best to get the help you need: physical, emotional, spiritual, etc., and then consider dating. All the best to you.

You are looking at women very superficially, which isn’t too bad since we’re only talking hypothetically. However, if you truly fell in love with someone, you wouldn’t care if she was thin or not. I think you should stop worrying about this.

IMHO I don’t see where it could possibly be a mortal sin to not call or to not text or to not date a particular woman who you are not interested in. It is your choice who you want to call or who you want to date.

He didn’t ask if it was a mortal sin. He asked if it was selfish.

Only if you’re ok with them turning you down once they discover you’re only into their looks. :shrug:
The way you phrased your question does sound shallow.
Meet a girl you want to date first, and then see how you feel.
Most people discover that the “deal-breakers” they set up for themselves really don’t matter at all once you are in love.
Kind of like girls who only want to date Doctors, eh?

I’d say you might examine why you want this. Weight by itself does not mean much. If you want someone who really likes being active, join a social group centered around an activity you enjoy. If you want someone who’s into health food, find a healthy eating cooking club, etc…

There’s many a skinny girl (and guy) who eat terribly and don’t exercise and get away with it until 30 or so. I used to be very overweight due to some mental health issues, but have gotten help and have trimmed down (though really, the primary thing was my brain getting healthy.) My husband has loved me at every weight, and has been a great support once he learned how and I learned how to ask him.

It’s not wrong to have preferences, but I think it’s important to know the why and be willing to relax them if you meet somebody who interests you but might not fit every criteria.

I am a bigger woman and I don’t find offense to the fact that you attracted to thinner girls. We all are physically attracted to certain people. However, it worries me that you fear your partner gaining weight in the future. That tells me that you don’t have the full understanding of what love in a marriage should be like. I would really encourage you to learn more about what true love is and how your partner’s physical changes is in no way something that you should care/worry about (ESPECIALLY if she carries your children).

Preach! :clapping:

It sounds like you have a great husband!

This reminds me of a story someone told me way back.

One of the guys I worked with had a friend who had just gotten married. This friend had his wife sign a pre-nuptial document before their wedding night agreeing that she will never gain weight in the future. If she gained weight it was considered breach of contract and the marriage was over. One of the weirder stuff I’ve heard. Amazingly she agreed to sign it.

You could do the same although I don’t of any woman who will agree to it.

I do not see anything inherently wrong with wanting a slim wife. If she ever gets pregnant she will gain weight. It is difficult for women to go back to the size they were before children. Does that mean drop her? I hope not. You won’t keep your looks forever. Women have more of an excuse for gaining weight they have children. Why do men in their forties have those potbellies they did not give birth


Of course I agree. It is his time, his money and his life. He can call or date whoever he wants to. That is his choice. Of course, the woman who is asked out has the prerogative to accept or not.

I guess it depends on what’s in the rest of the agreement.

I eat a lot of kale. I don’t particularly like kale, but it’s really nutritious and healthful. If I could get nutrition and healthfulness from Werther’s Original Creamy Caramel Filled Hard Candies, I’d quit eating kale and eat the candy instead.

Fortunately, with women you can have the benefits of both kale and toffees.

If you don’t think you’ll be happy with non-thin girls, then don’t date non-thin girls.

Date whomever you are attracted to.

You can’t force yourself to be attracted to a person you’re not attracted to. And you don’t want to be in a relationship with someone you’re not attracted to. It’s unfair to both of you. It’s unfair to you because you’re not happy, and it’s unfair to her because you’re deceiving her and robbing her of the opportunity to be with someone else.

You have to be attracted to the whole person. She might have a golden heart, but if you can’t bear to look at her…:frowning:

And I saw a pic of an attractive woman in a skimpy outfit. It was captioned, “She might look hot right now, but someone somewhere is already tired of putting up with her.” :frowning:

Right. I hope you guys realize I’m not superficially banking on looks alone. Apparently I misunderstand what it means to be in a a serious, committed, romantic relationship. 8m thinking too much. Appreciate the replies, guys. Thoughtful as always :smiley:

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